


The One That Got Away

by Tea_Addict264



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Dancing, Domestic Fluff, Established Adashi, Eventual Smut, Exes-to-Lovers, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Garrison trio, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Sex, Getting Back Together, Guilt, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Keith (Voltron) Has Issues, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Keith loves his Mom, Keith/Lance (Voltron)-centric, Krolia (Voltron) is a Good Parent, Lances Mama is a g, M/M, Musician Keith (Voltron), Mutual Pining, Occasional Lance POV, Oops, POV Keith (Voltron), Past Cheating, Past and Present, Past minor character death, Playlist to go along, Prepare for spelling errors :), Reunions, Self-sabotaging Keith, Shiro and Keith are bio brothers, Soft Keith (Voltron), Suicide Attempt, Trans Female Pidge | Katie Holt, art as well, broganes, drop out keith, nothing graphic tho, so much dancing, they made me cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:34:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 62,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27134635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_Addict264/pseuds/Tea_Addict264
Summary: In an attempt to rid of his music block, Keith visits the Varadero beach house that used to belong to his parents as a source of inspiration.He never expected that there, he’d reunite with Lance after five years.———A Klance Exes-To-Lovers, Holiday au!
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 63





	1. The One That Got Away - Katy Perry

**Author's Note:**

> Big Happy Birthday to Keith Kogane, who stole my heart at his first line in the show!
> 
> Also big thank you to my friend, Alisha, who is my only Klancer friend lmao. She helped boost my confidence on this fic and I’m so thankful of that!
> 
> My first posted fic and I’m super-duper scared!
> 
> This fic is my baby and I have worked so so hard on it! I hope you all enjoy it! :{D

_~In another life, I would make you stay_  
_So I don't have to say you were the one that got away_  
_The one that got away~_

-Katy Perry-

**Now**

Shiro _definitely_ puts too much sugar in the coffee he makes. _Far_ too much.

It's like he's trying to make his little brother have to pay more for dental. He doesn't get how the man can stand that much sweetness in his drink. Keith has only ever met one other person who liked their coffee that cavity-inducingly sweet, and he doesn't like to think about them anymore. 

Keith grimaces at the coffee mug like it's just assaulted him (which he wouldn't say is too far off.) Shiro doesn't even do it to spite him, he just feels like every human can handle that kind of poison. But, poison or not, it's caffeine, and he's not going to waste it.

He takes his time chugging down the contents of the mug, feeling Shiro's scrutinising gaze on him with every gulp. When he finally places his empty cup back on the scratched up counter with a sigh, Shiro decides that's his cue to speak up. 

"So, what was so important that you had to wake me up at four in the morning?" he laughs, albeit tiredly. Right, maybe the sugar load-on is to try to wake them both up. Keith doesn't blame him for being tired. "We both know you've only called _Kode Kogane_ once, Keith…" Shiro says, a little unsure. 

Keith's not surprised. _Kode Kogane_ means something big if Keith uses it. 

Keith couldn't sleep —something he's found to be a common occurrence in the last few years— and that's when he started thinking about his life —the past five years that consisted of him dropping out of university, as well as almost every friendship or relationship he had— and came to the conclusion that it was time to _get his shit together_. 

He had been to one of his meetings, and he had met a girl. Choppy, pixie-cut copper hair and big round glasses. She was easy to get along with, and she shared a lot in common with Keith. So when she mentioned that she was in Garrison University in New York, it struck him in his core. 

That night, the feelings came. It started out as an itch. It lingered under his skin and only grew with time, getting harder to ignore. It was a voice in the back of his head telling him to do something. _Something_ . It was only around half two when his subconscious decided that _something_ was his music, pushing him to open one of his guitar cases, that was, honestly, covered in a thick sheet of dust. But as he readjusted the strings to be in tune and began plucking, nothing really sparked —his block still there— but this itch just _would not leave_. So he did the only thing he could think of. The one thing about his life that's stayed consistent through the last five years. 

He called Shiro and activated _Kode Kogane_. 

And that's how he finds himself here, sitting in the kitchen of Shiro and Adam's house, slumped in his stool at the counter. The fluorescent lights rain down on them both as Keith rethinks this whole decision. 

The thing is, Keith has never been good with confrontation. Even as a child, Keith was so stubborn to not cross a difficult subject that it lead to the development of his quiet, closed off demeanor. His mother was the only one who could get young Keith to speak up about things. And when Keith got older, there was only one person who he ever really opened up to enough to the point of pure vulnerability. 

But neither of them people are here anymore. And Shiro _is_ someone he trusts whole-heartedly, but since… _that_ happened, it's been harder for Keith to open up to anyone. 

If Keith's being truthful, the growing anxiety under his skin, and his strumming of a random discordant that matches his heart's staccato, paired with the fluorescent lighting of the kitchen— is making this conversation feel like an interrogation. He contemplates just running for the door and acting as if this never happened. Catching the train home to cower under his quilts until Shiro forgets about it and they can go on like they have for the past two years. 

The door was only a few feet away—

"Nope. You're not running." The finality in Shiro's voice is enough to make Keith deflate, slumping in his stool. "Besides," Shiro speaks up, "I locked it. You act like I haven't been your brother for your whole life."

Keith huffs out a breath. He crosses his arms on the counter and leans forward to rest his chin on them in an attempt to avoid Shiro's gaze to his right. "You're cruel."

Shiro laughs, but doesn't speak up. Keith knows that his brother wants him to open up, to do what he came here to do. They're both silent for five minutes, a battle of who will crack first.

But, of course, Keith could never match Shiro's level of patience. 

"Fine." He sits up again and rests his elbows on the surface in front of them, cupping his head with his sleeve covered hands from the oversized hoodie that swallows his whole figure. "I need help."

Shiro raises a brow as he hums, encouraging Keith to elaborate. 

He thinks over what exactly he needs help with. He's not entirely sure. He just knows he's done being in this emotional and physical slump, and that he wants to do something about it. 

But what does he want to do? 

There's the option of going back to school to do his music, but he still feels the block like it's a brick wall between him and the creative part of his brain. He knows it will come back to him someday —not sure when, but he knows it will— he just needs to figure out how. He's not been one for sitting and waiting. 

Well, he isn't _anymore_. 

But now, he's tired of his own shit. He knows he needs to grow up and act like the twenty-three year old he is. 

"I'm just… I want to be better," He admits. It's vague. He knows it is. Especially because he _is_ better, very much so. And everyone wishes to stop feeling numb, don't they? "The accident was five years ago, I want to be normal again. Therapy has worked, but it's almost over. I've spent years just trying to get healthy again, so I don't know what I'll do when that's no longer my main focus." he pouts, the last of his sentence being more of a mumble as he looks up to Shiro like a lost puppy that needs a home. 

His brother puts his cup back down to the polished granite surface and regards Keith with a gentle smile. He opens his mouth to respond, but both their attention is snapped to the sound of someone _—obviously Adam—_ coming down the stairs. They're heavy and uncoordinated steps, obviously due to the time of night... Morning? 

But it isn't Adam who comes into the kitchen first, and instead, it’s a massive siberian husky— dark fur with eyes so bright Keith feels like he could communicate with the dog if he let him. He comes bounding in and all but tackles Keith at the sight of his previous owner. 

"Hey, Kosmo!" Keith coos as he scratches behind the dog's ears. Not two seconds later is a very disgruntled Adam walking into the kitchen. 

"Oh, this is where you are," He mumbles to Shiro, rubbing his eyes. "Kosmo was being a little shit and needed… A shit, I guess." He spares Keith a glance and half-hearted wave before turning back to Shiro, looking for the answers to their early _—very early—_ meeting.

"Keith is trying to figure out what next step to take in life," He tells Adam as he passes them to unlock the back door and let Kosmo out to the yard. Adam nods, letting Shiro know he is still listening as he steps outside. Shiro turns to address Keith this time. "You thinking school? Summer vacation just started, you could try applying for the class of 2023." 

He leans into his hand, squishing his cheeks as he scratches the blunt nails against the jagged scar on his face, mumbling a small, "Yeah." He pouts for a moment, his brows furrowing and nose scrunching as he thinks. "But if I want Marmora to accept me, I need to find my inspiration. I can't go while still blocked."

Marmora University was where Keith had planned on entering five years ago, but things didn't work out. 

_Obviously_ , or he wouldn't be here. 

Adam comes to lean against the open backdoor, arms crossed over his chest. "What about a gap year?"

"A gap year?" Keith echos, confused. He knows what it means, but he isn't eighteen. He isn't even nineteen, he's twenty-three. How can he do a gap year when he technically has nothing to take a 'gap' from? 

Shiro doesn't seem as confused as Keith, if the way he straightens in his chair and slams his hands down on the counter— his prosthetic hitting it with an uncomfortable clang— with a megawatt smile that has his eyes sparkling was any indication. 

Adam comes back into the kitchen, settling himself on the chair between the brothers as Shiro seems too excited to even speak. "It's quite simple. When I say gap year, I mean a break. A vacation. Go somewhere and get that spark back." He seems to mull over his thoughts as he holds his chin. He raises an eyebrow and smirks. "What about the beach house?" 

"The one in Varadero?" Keith straightens in his stool, interest piqued. He's been to the beach house a handful of times. It used to belong to Shiro and Keith's parents, and Shiro got it in the inheritance. The beach house was where his love for music really flourished. 

Keith looks to the men by his side and catches the end of Adam saying something like, " _What he doesn't know won't hurt him._ " But then Shiro is cheering way too exaggeratedly to be real, but he just goes along. For now. 

"It's reasons like these you're my husband, Adam!" He sends him one of his signature loving looks and Adam chuckles at Shiro's childlike persona. 

"And here I thought the reason was love." They laugh and smile lovingly at one another. Adam's the only one who can really bring out Shiro's young side. The rest of the time Shiro is a supportive brother with a really dark sense of humour. 

Keith smiles at his happy brother and brother-in-law. Three years of marriage and Keith can tell they're going to stay together. They stayed strong even through the accident. Shiro had lost his arm, gotten that scar across his nose, and Adam was there for every second of the way. Adam even stayed after the incident two years ago. Keith doesn't know if Shiro would have pushed through the way he did if he didn't have Adam. 

_Soulmates_. Keith's mind supplies. 

"It's settled then!" Shiro claps his hands together, smiling brightly and seeming a lot more awake than before. "Keith, you're going to Varadero!"

Keith scoffs at how his brother didn't even discuss it with him, but it's good hearted as he returns Shiro's smile and feels like a weight has been lifted from his chest. Varadero felt like a good start. 

How unaware Keith is that this trip will change his life. 

___________________

**Then**

September - Junior Year

The squeak of trainers on the worn down linoleum floor still seems to break through Keith's earphones as he makes his way to his locker. 

It's his first day of Junior year at Altea high school, and he's already behind on sleep. 

When he gets to his locker, well, he doesn't, because someone else is mauling his lock. The tall boy pulls and jiggles the lock in every which way before attempting to put in the code again, just for it to not open— and the cycle goes on. Keith stands behind him and just watches with amusement as the boy fungles over and over. 

That is, until the bell rings out through the halls and every student begins to shuffle to their classes. And Keith really doesn't want to be late to class on the first day, so he decides it's time to intervene and walks up behind the boy.

But the universe seems to like tormenting Keith. The brown haired boy in front of him pulls especially hard on the lock, elbow smashing right into Keith's nose, who had placed himself right in the line of fire. 

It lets out a loud _crack_ before Keith is stumbling back into the centre of the hall, earphones falling out of his ears and hanging down his leg. His combat boots squeak against the linoleum as he holds his hands over his nose. 

When tears gather in his eyes, he moves to wipe them, but realises he has blood covering his palms before he does. He catches a hold of himself enough to level the taller boy with a glare. 

"What. The. _Fuck_?" He seethes through his clenched teeth.

The boy has already turned towards Keith, mouth agape and eyes wide. Keith wouldn't be surprised if he was frozen in shock with the realisation that he just pelted someone with his elbow. 

" _Shit_! I am _so_ sorry!" He walks up to hold Keith's face in his hands and inspect his nose. He winces at the sight before mumbling a weak, "I think it may be broken."

"No shit," Keith deadpans. 

"Listen here, you Nico Di Angelo wannabe." He leans into Keith space and pokes a finger into his chest. "It was an accident, okay?"

"Did you just call me Nico?" Keith asks, genuinely surprised that such a preppy looking boy would have a clue about good books. And how the hell did Keith look like him? He huffs a laugh at the boy in front. 

The taller boy pouts and crosses his arms. "I just meant— _ugh_! Never mind. Come with me." The boy grabs his wrist and starts walking down the hall, not even giving Keith a chance to protest or ask where they're going. 

They keep walking, passing about seven classrooms, and Keith is sure there is a small trail of drops of blood marking their path from his nose, but before he can even grimace, Lance stops, causing Keith to walk into his back before checking where they are. 

The acrylic plate by the side of the door reads _Nurse's Office,_ and Keith gags internally at the mere _thought_ of the smell of antiseptic. 

He _hates_ the nurses office. The hospital is one of his least favourite places to go, despite being one of Keith's most visited places through his adventurous childhood that would lead to a collection of cuts and bruises… and sometimes broken bones. And the nurses office just smells _more_ like vomit.

Lance knocks the glass panel of the door and soon a nurse comes to open it. She takes one look at Keith and her eyes widen and she's already in the act of opening the door wider for them to walk through. 

Lance sits down in the waiting room with him, and it's only then he let's go of Keith's wrist and clasps his hands before facing Keith. He seems more shy, now. Less angry at Keith's deadpan answer to his apology. 

"Listen, man. I'm really sorry." He threads his fingers through his hair, pulling at the ends a little with a long sigh. "My locker wasn't working, I think they gave me the wrong code." Right. Keith's locker. The one this boy thought was his. He's about to tell him he's wrong when he speaks up again, offering his hand to shake. "The names Lance."

Keith is hesitant for a moment. He was just super rude to this guy, but he may have just broken his nose, and called him the son of Hades. But he sees Lance is trying to genuinely apologise, so he takes his hand and shakes it once before replying with a simple, "Keith." He thinks about mentioning the locker thing again, before the nurse is poking her head out of a door and speaking up. 

"Could you patch up your friend's face for now?" She looks apologetic and quickly addresses whoever is in the private room before turning her attention back to them. "There's supplies in the top drawer in the room through that door." She points to another private room and Keith and Lance nod before making their way through. 

Lance walks straight to the drawers and starts searching through them. He gathers a collection of things while Keith seats himself on one of the medical beds, groaning at the pain in his nose (which doesn't help the pain, at all.) It was still dripping a few drops of blood now and then, but had mainly dried up. He doesn't want to imagine the mega bruise already spread along it. 

There's no doubt in his mind his parents will think he's getting into fights again. But that was middle school… and maybe twice last year. 

But _not anymore_. He hated seeing his mom disappointed in him. His dad, he wasn't too bothered with. Him and his dad had a simple relationship where he doesn't mind too much of what Keith does, as long as he's a good person. He reacts to Keith's fights, but not like his mother does. 

Krolia Kogane is scary enough that he's sure she's a badass alien in another life. But she is also where Keith gets everything from, so he guesses that would make him one, too. 

But she's also his biggest supporter. She taught Keith the ukulele when he was seven, and helped him afford his collection of instruments he has now. She helped him layer his room with soundproofing so he could practice without bothering anyone. She even drove two hours so Keith and Shiro could visit their first pride parade after Keith came out two years ago. 

She's his best friend. He doesn't know what he'd do without her. 

So he _really_ doesn't want to disappoint her again. 

Lance comes back and spreads a collection of supplies (that Keith is sure is far too much) on the bed next to Keith before half sitting on the bed, one foot on the floor as he faces Keith. 

He grabs a wipe and cleans away any dried blood around his face. Lance looks insanely guilty everytime Keith winces at the pain, or when he gets an awful nose full of antiseptic smell. But he carries on if it means he'll get his nose sorted out. 

Lance readjusts Keith's face so he's facing upward, and Keith sighs before looking down to Lance. His face is turned into a pout in concentration as he tends to Keith's nose, and he can't help but take in the image of him. An expanse of golden, tanned skin, looking smooth to the touch; a collection of freckles that dust over Lance's nose and high up his cheekbones, where the longer strands of his curley, brown hair brush against. He's boyish, but he's pretty. It suits his preppy aesthetic. Keith can say that much.

Once all the blood is cleaned up, Lance grabs the ice pack and gently places it over Keith's nose. The cold makes his breath hitch, and Lance lifts the pack up immediately. He holds it over their heads as he looks at Keith, worry evident. 

"It didn't hurt, it was just cold," Keith says before Lance can even ask the question. The worrying furrow if his brow softens and he slowly places the pack back on Keith's nose, and Keith takes it from there, keeping it there to lower the painful throbbing. 

It's silent for a few moments after that. Both boys unable to think of conversation. Keith thinks he sees Lance go to say sorry again, so he speaks up. 

"So," Keith starts, and Lance shuts his mouth. "how do I look like Nico?" He asks, and Lance's face morphs from confusion, registration and then embarrassment, pink dusting his cheeks. 

"Right... Well, you have long, black hair —like a mullet," He says, gesturing to the mop of raven hair on Keith's head. Mullet? "Your jacket is also kinda how they describe it in the book, it's kinda big on you." He then points at Keith's shirt, and raising a brow, showing his confidence of his statement rise. "And then the skull t-shirt just finishes it off."

Okay, Keith could kinda understand. A little. Okay, maybe they were alike, but at least— oh shit, they're both gay, too! Well, he's not gonna let Lance add that to the list. But his shirt—

"It's MCR," Keith supplies. Lance just looks at Keith like he's supposed to know what that is, and Keith sighs, pushing the pack harder onto his nose. 

Now, listen. Never do that to a potentially broken nose. It hurt. _Bad_. 

Lance takes the pack again and holds it on Keith's nose for him. Keith pouts at being babied, but let's Lance do his thing. He seems like he knows what he's doing. 

"How are you so good at this?" He bets he seems like a child, needing a stranger to hold an ice pack to his face because he can't seem to. Lance just looks to him questioningly and Keith takes it upon himself to elaborate. "With medical things. You into that stuff?"

Lance smiles fondly, and Keith decides he likes Lance's smile, white teeth a stark contrast to his darker skin.

"It's actually because of my family. I'm the youngest, but I have a lot of siblings and you just kinda learn along the way. Also, some of my cousins are pretty young, so when I babysit them, I usually look after them."

"Big family?" Keith smiles as he asks the question. It stings his nose a little, but this Lance boy looks so bright and cheery just speaking about his family, and Keith can't blame him, he loves his family, too. 

Lance only smiles brighter at that. He makes a sort of explosive gesture with his free hand as he laughs, " _Massive_." before adding, "I love them all. You?" 

Keith warms at the thought of his family. One of his favourite memories is them all crowded around the piano back in Varadero, singing and playing a range of songs to settle into the brand new holiday home. It's only when Lance chuckles that Keith realises he's probably staring off into space. 

"I have my mom, dad and then my big brother, Takashi," he supplies, coming out of his stupor. 

Lance perks up at Shiro's real name, and Keith doesn't even have to hear Lance's question of, "You mean the school's super-hot, old head quarterback?" to know that he's gonna answer the same way he always does when people ask about him. He's proud, but _God_ , does Shiro have a lot of fans. 

"That's the one."

The fact that Lance shamelessly called Shiro hot goes completely over Keith's head, and they continue to talk nonsense, helping Keith forget about the pain in his nose. 

Once the swelling in Keith's nose has died down an acceptable amount, they decide to finally make their way to class. They literally miss the whole of the first period and beginning of the second, so when they walk into mister Wimbledon-Smythe's physics classroom ten minutes late, they have to sit together at a desk.

Keith's in the middle of writing notes about stars and the different types, when he remembers what he wanted to tell Lance. 

He taps his pen against Lance's shoulder and waits until the boy looks up from his notes. He still manages to write as he's looking at Keith, humming in encouragement to speak up. 

"They didn't give you the wrong code. You were trying to get into _my_ locker," Keith says, trying to keep his grin down as Lance's eyes widen comically before Keith is adding a quick, "Give me your paper." 

Lance grabs his code from his pocket and hands it to Keith. He's not even writing anymore, just staring at Keith expectantly. Keith leans into Lance's side to show him the locker number above his key code. 

"See, yours is the one to the right of mine," Keith whispers, trying to make sure mister Wimbledon-Smyth doesn't reprimand them for talking. 

Lance takes the piece of paper and holds it close enough to his eyes Keith is sure it's most likely blurry. He huffs out a small laugh before sighing. 

"Holy _cheese_ , you're right." He puts it back in his pocket and smiles at Keith. "Guess we're locker buddies, too, then."

___________________

**Now**

Santa Marta Airport is _busy_. But Keith recons that's because the summer break just about started, and Varadero is _the_ holiday location. There's all sorts of people around; from the overweight man with an already red sunburn covering his skin; the mother in tow with her son and daughter, the father lagging back as he carries all the suitcases; and a group of what looks like college students on a break all gathered in a group to take a selfie. And this is it just at four in the morning. 

Keith didn't take into account what time he would arrive at the airport. Just that he didn't want to wake up early just to end up with jetlag from the flight. He didn't think this through that much, Adam and Shiro were the ones who arranged most of the trip. To which Keith was thankful for, except for this. But it could easily be payback for waking Shiro up with a _Kode Kogane_ at the crack of dawn. 

Oh well, he could just crash as soon as he gets to the house. 

He waits at the luggage claim until his suitcase comes into view. He luggs it off the machine with little to no effort and leaves the airport, catching the first taxi he sees available. 

Santa Marta Airport is located just outside of Varadero, and the beach house is right by the start, so the drive isn't too long and Keith doesn't have to pay too many pesos to the driver as he's dropped off into the driveway.

Keith had said he would crash straight away, but seeing the beach house brings back so many fond memories. He doesn't think there is a single bad memory that this house truly carries within its walls. 

It's a single story beach house. Three bedrooms, an en-suite attached to each. The main room has the kitchen, dining room and living room in an open space. The outside is made up of cream rustica brick, orange roof-tiles and full length windows. Brightly coloured tiles along the staircase inside that lead to the balcony on the roof, and a number of rugs covering the wooden floor. It's all fresh in his mind, and he hasn't even stepped inside yet. It's always been a house Keith has loved. Ever since his parents bought it the summer before his twelfth birthday. It's so familiar: Keith and Shiro's names carved into one of the bricks; The personalised house plate; Some of his mom's favourite juniberry flowers. 

The wind is strong at the moment, waves crashing to the shore and the beach plants dancing around, causing a muffled whistling occasionally. He quickly ties his hair back from his face to keep it out of the way. It's weird to think that the last time he was here, his hair only just reached his shoulders. 

He smiles and his whole body relaxes at the feeling of home. This will always be a place that belonged to his parents. Always be a place of memories and happiness for him, his parents and Shiro. Pure nostalgia. He hopes being back here will get his brain back functioning and he can continue his plan of getting better. 

He decides he's done enough reminiscing and walks to the front door. He fumbles for his keys and unlocks it, barely entering the dark main room before his hands are pulled behind him and he finds himself half-kneeling on the ground. 

"What the—" He turns to see the person who holds him down and the curse dies off as his throat closes up with a hitch of his breath. The other person gasps and stares, just as shocked as him. 

All the thoughts he had pushed away for years —not wanting to allow the memory of his mistake to get to him anymore than they already had— were suddenly all that occupied his mind. All he could think of in that moment was the past. Innocent and caring _love_. Warm touches and burning _love_. Regret and painful _love_. The thoughts had always been lying just beneath the surface, able to be ignored. But them crystal blue eyes have them rising from the depths of Keith's mind, and a wave of memories wash over him and floodgates threaten to burst open to the feeling he locked away from his heart years ago. 

His blue eyes are reflected from the little amount of moonlight coming through the front door, and all Keith can think of us how he used to lose himself in them anytime their gazes locked. How they would be so full of affection and adoration. Whereas now, they're wide and worried— yet no less beautiful. His heart clenches at the sight of him.

They stare, and stare, and stare—

Until the boy comes out of his stupor and is letting go of Keith like he's just burnt him. He stumbles backwards and almost hits over a potted plant in the dark. 

" _Lance…_ " Keith breathes as he stands. They continue to stare, and Keith's heart feels like it may fall out of his chest. Because, _holy shit_ , he hasn't seen Lance in about four years. Hasn't spoken to him in five. 

Lance looks just as entranced as Keith, and all they keep doing is just staring, as if the other may disappear in a puff of smoke if either moves. Lance seems to snap out of it first, straightening himself and dusting off the non-existent dust from his night clothes. 

He picks at his sleeves before chuckling, and all Keith can think about is how deep it's gotten in the five years they've been separated. 

"How're you doing, Keithy-boy?"

___________________

**Then**

September - Junior Year

"Hey, Keithy-boy," Lance says as they sit across from each other in their chem class. It's been about a week and they keep end up sitting together in their shared classes and occasionally hanging out together at dinner. His friend Hunk is always with him, and Keith has taken a liking to them both, even if Lance is insufferable. 

Keith looks up from the alkali test tubes and sees Lance about to pour the test solution into one of the cylinders like a movie mad scientist would. "Would you say we have—"

" _Don't—_ " Keith warns. 

Lance _does_. He drops the mixture into one of the test tubes and it changes to a blue. " _—chemistry?_ "

Keith grumbles, rolling his eyes at his antics. He asks Allura, the girl that sits next to him, about the toxicity of the chemicals. She whispers back that they'll itch, but nothing more. So, he makes sure the teacher's back is turned before taking the opportunity to grab the tube and throw the mixture at Lance. 

Lance yelps, trying to jump away from it, but the blue mixture still gets him, soaking into the fabric of his white lab coat. Keith smirks as Lance's nose scrunches in annoyance at him. It just makes Keith puff out his chest the way Lance would, causing both Allura and Hunk to laugh. 

"Keith, you're no longer our friend!" Lance whines, but there's a little bit of a chuckle in there. "You can go back to being 'loner emo boy.'"

Keith laughs at the childish comment before answering with, "Was I ever your friend?" and that only makes Lance gape at him incredulously. The way he does everything over the top would be endearing if he weren't so annoying. 

"Hear that, Hunk. He doesn't even think of us as friends!" he crosses his arms and holds his chin high, looking down his upturned nose at Keith. Keith doesn't take him seriously and that only riles him up even more. "That's it. I'm never sharing my fries with you again. Enjoy cafeteria food." 

"Don't worry, Keith. I'll share mine with you." Hunk jumps in, and Keith laughs even more, crossing his arms and smirking at Lance, who just pouts at his best friend in a sense of utter betrayal. "But I am your friend, right?" Hunk adds, and Keith melts a little at the sincerity. 

"Y-Yeah, I guess. I just didn't know you saw me that way." Keith shrugs stiffly.

Even if Lance is annoying, they're both really nice people, and he hadn't let himself be optimistic enough to hope they wanted to actually be his friend. But he guesses they do. He smiles easy, and Lance mirrors the quirk in his lips. 

"Of course we do, man. We shared our fries, you're officially knighted into our friend group."

"I thought you didn't want me in your friend group."

" _Right,_ " Lance realises. He hops from his chair and heads for his bag that's kept away from the science equipment. He comes back, ruler in hand and uses it as a fake sword. He holds it to Keith's nose, and Keith goes cross-eyed trying to look at it. "You have committed treason against your fellow Paladin and you are now to be put to death." he drops the ruler down on Keith's head, and he may as well play along, so he lays his head on the desk and makes over dramatised dying noises. 

They all laugh before Lance let's the ruler fall and _somehow_ causes a red mixture to spill and land on his lab coat, right next to the blue. The colours bleed together to make a purple and Lance pouts at his ruined coat. 


	2. Crush - David Archuleta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith begins his work on his music block and ends up spending the day with Lance as past Keith and Lance grow closer, and past-Keith comes to a realisation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually really happy at how close I'm posting this to Halloween, as it is the Halloween chapter :)
> 
> I kinda don't like this chapter, but it's a lot better than the original, so at least there's that. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

_~Do you ever think when you're all alone_

_All that we can be, where this thing can go?_

_Am I crazy or falling in love?_ _I_ _s it real or just another crush?~_

-David Archuleta-

**Now**

When Keith wakes up, he's almost certain last night was a dream. It had to have been. What kind of cosmic joke would it be to pair him and Lance back together again as soon Keith decides to try to forget about the painful past? To try and move on from everything that took place five years ago. Get his life back together. 

Yeah, it has to have been a dream. 

There was no Keith leaving the main room after his and Lance's stiff and brief reunion. No him ducking into his bedroom and dialing Shiro's phone number and not letting his brother even get out a _hello_ before he was hissing into the receiver. 

"Do _not_ tell me you knew he'd be here." He didn't bother explaining. If Shiro knew, there is no doubt he would have been expecting Keith's reaction. 

" _Okay, I won't,_ " Shiro had replied, and Keith could hear the cringe in his voice. Keith wasn't surprised his older brother was cringing, because he knew he was in trouble. Keith was livid. How could Shiro have done this? Shiro of all people knew what their breakup did to Keith, so it really made no sense. 

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" Keith had seethed through his teeth, jaw set and blood boiling. 

It was wrong. It didn't make sense. Keith loves— _loved_ Lance. So, so much. He felt his heart strings being pulled taunt by the mere sight of Lance. It was stupid. _Dangerous_. But oh, how a corner of his heart burned at the idea of being around Lance again. But he ignored that, frustration at his brother too high. 

" _Keith, calm down_ ," Shiro had said, grimace audible, while he was certain Adam was laughing in the background. Bastard. _"I'm sorry. We just felt seeing Lance would be a good source of closure_."

"I don't need _closure_ , Shiro. You know everything that happened," Keith had argued, and Shiro sighed. Keith could easily picture his brother holding the bridge of his nose as he shook his head. Keith didn't get how Shrio could have been the frustrated one. But he took it as a sign to calm down. Shiro was lenient with Keith, so if he got annoyed, Keith knew it meant something. "Shiro. I'm just scared. Things with Lance— things with Lance didn't end well. You know how guilty I feel. I don't need closure, when I'm the one who did wrong."

" _Then try and fix things with him. Make it so you don't have to feel guilty, be friends again_ ," Shiro had suggested, and Keith would have argued again, but he could see Shiro's point. It made sense. But it didn't mean it lessened the anxiety heavy in his chest. Lance could easily reject the offer of Keith's apology. 

"I'll think about it," Keith had said before hanging up, partially because that was the truth, and partially because he just wanted the subject dropped. 

Yeah, none of that had happened. 

There was no him walking back into the main room, where a sheepish Lance was still picking at the thread of his night-shirts sleeve. No him looking more uncomfortable than Keith had ever seen him. More… Unconfident. Not like the Lance Keith knew— Who would talk shit and easily make friends. Who would still be his usual boisterous self, even when faced with a challenging subject. 

He hadn't walked over to Lance, pulled his hand away from the thread and moved his chin so he was looking at Keith. It wasn't until Lance's eyes widened that Keith came back, stepping out of his habitual state that took over for a second. 

Lance was an anxious person, Keith knew that. He would be the person to pull the boy together when he was particularly bad. With Keith, Lance could settle down. Relax and be himself wholly. They were each other's comfort. 

So seeing Lance so on edge at just Keith's presence was a punch in the gut. He'd never spoken to Lance after their break-up. So maybe Keith did more harm than he originally thought? It had made him feel even more guilty than before. 

But then Lance was smiling. It was small, a slight quirk to his lips. Keith could tell it was a tad bit forced, but it was still partially genuine. And it had made Keith really consider Shiro's words. 

Was it possible for them to get closure? For them to heal and become friends again? 

_Yeah_ , Keith _had_ thought. _It could work_. 

But Keith is pretty sure that was the jetlag talking, and now, as he lays on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling, he feels that seeing Lance will one-hundred percent _not_ work. It can't, right? He doesn't feel it can. Despite the small flicker of hope he holds, there is still so much mess with how they ended. 

So yeah, it had to be a dream. 

Everything is meant to be falling into place. Everything to go right. So putting Keith and Lance together wouldn't let that happen, right? 

It had to be a dream. 

Right? 

_Wrong_. 

Lance is in the kitchen, moving around and making a fried breakfast. He's whipping a batch of scrambled eggs as the sun streams through the windows and catches on his tousled bed-head. He looks as stupidly gorgeous as he always did, and Keith is sure he looks like a wreck compared to the boy in front of him. 

He looks good. Like the five years haven't been as hard on him as they had on Keith, and that makes a weight lift off of Keith's shoulders a little. He can't imagine Lance being sad. 

But that doesn't stop Keith from noticing some minor differences. His eyes look a little heavier, faint lines underneath them that make him look older — _which he is_ — but in a more tired way. His hair is shorter and seems a little drier than the glossy mop of curls it was in high school. But drier for Lance just meant the standard of a normal person. It doesn't stop him from looking great. Not at all. He still has his long limbs and golden-brown skin, a collection of freckles along his cheeks and a peek at them on his shoulders from where his oversized cotton shirt is stretched at the neckline, and a trail down his arms. 

Lance notices Keith and visibly tenses —shoulders rising only a fraction, eyes widening minutely, and fork in the mixture of eggs faltering only for a second— before he's reverting back to normal, smiling and greeting Keith a _good morning_ , as if seeing Keith there hadn't affected him. But Keith knows Lance enough to notice even the smallest detail about him, even after years apart. 

"Morning," Keith says back as he pours a mug of coffee for himself —plain black, right from the pot, just how he likes it. Lance turns to face him as he starts serving a plate. 

"You want me to cook you an extra batch?" Lance offers. 

"No, I'll do okay."

"What, finally learnt to cook yourself?" Lance jokes, waggling the spatula at Keith. He goes cross-eyed looking at it, before he crosses his arms and pouts, turning away from Lance with a small chuckle. "I'll take that as a no." Lance's smirk is positively triumphant at Keith's inability to disagree that his cooking skills are… _below average_. 

Keith rolls his eyes, and doesn't fight the slight upturn to his lips. He always smiled easier around Lance. It's weird. Being with Lance is _weird_. But it's also familiar. And it makes a part of Keith feel warm. 

It makes the realisation that this all isn't a dream a little less unsettling. But only a little. 

"Seriously, you want any?" Lance checks again, and Keith just waves it off with his hand in a form of _no thanks._

When Lance's eyes follow the movement, Keith's suddenly hyper-aware of his lack of gloves. His hands shoot into the pockets of his beige cardigan as he speed-walks to his room to retrieve them. 

He doesn't know how he could have forgotten to put them on. It had become a habit in the past four and a half years. 

He comes back to the main room to Lance finishing his breakfast. His leather black gloves are slid on and covering halfway up his forearm comfortably, letting his nerves settle. His gloves give him security. A literal wall between him and whoever he wears them around. As Lance goes to his room, Keith decides he may as well have a shower. 

The sun rises higher, and families and tourists filter into the golden sands of the beach outside. When Keith comes out of the shower, new clothes on and ruffling his hair with his towel, Lance is heading out the back door to join the groups of people. He's wearing an awfully colourful blue flower-print hawaiian shirt, light khaki shorts and his sunglasses on his head. He has a bamboo bag thrown over his shoulder and a pair of sandals. He sends a wave over his shoulder —one Keith can't deny looks insanely forced, but also familiar— and Keith waves back, before the glass door is sliding shut after Lance, and Keith decides it's time to work on what he came here to do. 

_Here's the thing_. 

Trying to get rid of a music block that has slowly been accumulating for almost one-thousand, eight-hundred and twenty-five days (Keith would know, he calculated it instead of working on lyrics that weren't working) kinda sucks. 

And not in the good kinda way. 

In the my-scalp-hurts-from-me-pulling-my-own-hair kinda way. 

He's sitting cross legged on the sofa of the main room. Trying (and increasingly failing) to write some lyrics. Anything. Any creative and meaningful phrase that he could develop and write around at least. 

He searches the Internet for inspiration. Pinterest, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. Stooping as low as to go on a lyric generator to get at least some good lines, but it's a computer generated song and he's not even surprised it didn't work. 

The old re-run of a telanovela plays in the background as Keith works, Keith intent on it's only purpose being so the room isn't filled with white noise that will get under his skin. But it soon turns into Keith switching on the subtitles, watching intently as it goes through it's countless twists and turns that the usual telanovela does. 

Honestly, the main protagonist finding out the man she thought was the love of her life is actually his evil twin who was actually out to kill her family for some old grudge, is more interesting than what's scribbled onto the lined pages of Keith's notebook, laying open in his lap. 

When the main character chooses to believe one character (the evil one that foresight only allows the audience to see) instead of the nice one (who has pined after her for years and they would have a super healthy relationship), Keith boos. Loud and drawn out, and he realises he should be getting back to work. 

It's two hours later, around two o'clock in the afternoon, when Keith taps, clicks, flips and twirls his pen for about ten minutes before sighing in frustration and finally throwing his spiral bound book across the mainroom. He crosses his arms and pouts in his seat at his block. He knows it's only his first day here, but he just wants it _gone_. 

He also only now realises he's forgotten to eat. 

So, Keith sighs in resignation and gets up from the sofa, stretching out his taut muscles and making himself a semi-decent dinner before changing into a pair of red board shorts and loose, black tank-top. 

He may as well go to the beach if he's going to stay in the beach house for the next good two months. And besides, the beach was one of Keith's favourite places with his mom, therefore very likely to inspire him. 

A reflection of light catches his eye and he looks to the piano off in the corner of the main room, untouched and partially dusty. He tightens his grip on the notebook under his arm and grinds his teeth thoughtfully before deciding, _forget it_ , and walking out of the door. 

————————–———

**Then**

September - Junior Year 

Lance and Keith have been seat buddies for a while, and Keith has been friends with Lance and Hunk for just under a month. During his time with them both in and out of class, he's learnt a lot about his two new friends. 

He learnt that the two boys are childhood friends, having met in elementary school. Lance had just immigrated to America, and Hunk was the first to talk to the new boy who wasn't very good at English. 

He knows that Lance likes to draw on his arms during class, usually space inspired stuff. That leads to a debate between Lance and Keith about whether the moon landing was faked (It totally was, despite all of Lance’s "proof") and the existence of aliens, which they both agreed was one-hundred percent true. Lance had gotten the whole class to agree on that. Even Mr Wimbeldon-Smythe made a claim that he was an alien that just liked teaching so much he thought he'd come to Earth. That got them all to laugh. But Keith couldn't help but think that he was certainly wacky enough to be an alien.

Hunk sits behind them in Physics, next to Allura, and very often leans his head in between both boys shoulders to talk. 

He notices how much Hunk enjoys cooking, and sometimes, instead of Hunk popping his head between them, it will be a tupperwear of cookies, brownies and other snacks. All made by Hunk. 

Keith could say he, Lance and Hunk are easily great friends already. Lance and Hunk are extremely likable and make Keith comfortable. Especially because they talk a bunch and Keith can just sit back and listen, putting in his view on a conversation if prompted. 

They've started bringing Keith food from a fast food restaurant called Vrepid Sal's, where it turns out Hunk works. They like to often cut their straws in half and pretend to be walruses, making weird noises and everything. 

They make Keith laugh with their ridiculousness. It's obvious they're childhood friends. They're comfortable around each other, which makes Keith comfortable, too. 

Keith also notices how Lance flirts with many of the girls. Well, he _tries_ . He's not very good at it. Some of the girls brush him off, like when he used the line "Are you tennese, cause you're the only ten I see." He honestly can't flirt to save his life, but it can be a little charming. That's why some _do_ take an interest. Keith doesn't blame either of them. Lance is a goof, but he _is_ quite endearing. And good-looking. Keith’s overly gay brain doesn't let him forget that little detail.

So yeah, Keith knows a lot about them. 

But _Lance_ , he's just full of surprises. And Keith learns another thing about him when he walks into Physics class and flops in his usual seat on September 23rd. Saying Keith almost spits his energy drink all over his desk wouldn't be a lie. 

Why? Because Lance is wearing a crop-top —pink, purple and blue stripes— that shows off his abdomen, a pair of light blue, high waisted, ripped jeans. When he catches Keith eyeing him, he smiles and shows off his loom bracelets matching the colours of his top. 

“It’s Bi visibility day!” Lance cheers. 

Keith stares more. To which Lance decides he needs to add jazz hands to the mix, causing his bracelets to spin around his wrists. 

"You definitely make it visible," Keith jokes, unable to say anything else because _oh, Lance likes guys. And I can see his stomach. And he has some freckles on his stomach oh, my god_. Lance's jazz hands deflate as he pouts at his friend. Keith kinda mentally slaps himself for not realising Lance was into guys when he had called Shiro hot not thirty minutes into their first meeting. It's actually kinda funny. "I had no idea you were bisexual," Keith adds.

Lance perks right the fuck up and wraggles his brows. "Why? You interested?" 

Keith scowls and turns away from Lance with a huff. Lance just chuckles, so Keith takes that as a sign he didn't notice the flush on his cheeks. 

———————————

**Now**

The beach is pretty packed. A collection of multi-coloured beach umbrellas, towels, and flocks of people. He isn't surprised, being in Varadero of all places. But he also doesn't mind it. It makes it easier for him to be inspired, seeing people's stories surrounding him. He doesn't speak up much, and is closed off, so he's observant, and can tell a lot from watching a scene. It's what made music so fun, writing experiences and playing them. Letting out the feelings he didn't speak. 

Keith decides to take his sandals off. Sand getting in them is uncomfortable. He trudges through the hot grains, watching as they form around his bare feet with every step. He's missed this. It's been a while since he's felt anything like this, or anything at all. 

"Keith?" 

The familiar voice calls from behind him, and he looks back and sees he just passed Lance. He lounges on a blue towel, button up shirt hanging open and showing off his defined, freckles covered, bronze skin. Keith's eyes widen a fraction at the sight of him. Fuck. 

"You decided to step into the sunlight?" Lance attempts to joke, which _does_ simmer down a fraction of Keith's awkwardness. 

"Y-yeah." Keith decides not to mention it's for his music. Lance was a big part of that, and he doesn't know about letting Lance past that personal wall. Not again. Not yet, anyway. 

Lance just smirks, their old dynamic seemingly coming back easy to him. The familiarity causes a whiplash from the way Lance looked last night. "You put on suncream, right? You'll be a tomato." 

Right. He forgot. He grimaces, and Lance laughs. It comes off kinda awkwardly, which makes Keith miss that old familiar feeling, before Lance is patting the place in front of himself. 

"Want me to do it for you?" 

Keith stiffens, and stares at Lance for a few seconds, then at the spot on the towel between Lance legs, and then back to Lance. The boy seems to lose a little of his confidence at Keith's hesitance, so Keith decides to nod before sitting between his legs. His shorts ride up his thigh a little, so he decides to put his towel over them to hide them. He couldn’t fathom Lance seeing them. The other boy grabs suncream from the bamboo bag to his left and squirts it onto Keith's back before he feels Lance's hands hesitantly rubbing it in. 

It's cold, and Keith only now realises that his skin must already be burning from the sun. Yep. The sun. Nothing to do with Lance's hands massaging into his back. Or the image of his exposed skin. Or the memory of them two things combined. 

When his back and shoulders are done, Lance passes the bottle to Keith and Keith does the rest of his body. He internally thanks Lance for not doing all of him, because _that_ would be _something_. 

When Keith accidentally drops a dollop onto the beach towel and scowls at it (which he knows probably looks like more of a pout) Lance swipes it off with his thumb and strokes it onto Keith's cheeks. Keith's eyes widen as he looks up to Lance, who is smiling happily at him, and Keith can't help but return it, not even having to force it. 

He feels their awkwardness dissipate slowly, and it makes him feel lighter. Even if the walls between them both are still built too high to climb. 

It's both thrilling and calming to have Lance close again. To simply speak with him and lean into his space (even if Keith doesn't realise he's doing so) and have Lance lean in, too. They're built on habit around one another, and Keith thinks that's why the awkwardness is so fast to disappear. It leaves a warmth settled in his veins and subsides his heart's erratic beating. 

It's calm. Comfortable. And Keith doesn't have to work as hard to push the negative thoughts away. 

It doesn't mean they aren't there, though, speaking to him in the back of his mind. 

_You left. You don't deserve to be around him. You shouldn't be here. Leave him be. You're not worthy—_

But then Lance laughs at one of Keith's jokes. Deep and full of glee, and the voices are reduced to mere whispers. 

After a little while of non-important chatter, Lance had left without warning Keith, and the latter just lounged on his second beach towel, the first still draped across his legs. He watches the waves and the kids that play in the sea. The parents and the group of teens playing volleyball. He grabs his spiral bound notebook and decides to write a few lines, before scribbling them out for not working. He huffs an irritated sigh before Lance steps up behind him. 

He has ice creams in each hand. Tall wafer cones. One is a blue sherbet, because Lance likes all things sugar, and a chocolate swirl for Keith. 

"Sorry I took kinda long. Had to find a place that does Vegan 'cause of your intolerance." Lance smiles as he seats himself back on the towel by Keith, holding the chocolate out to him. When Keith hesitates Lance pouts. "You still have the same order, right?" Lance asks 

"I do… I just…" He huffs at his loss of words over a goddamn ice cream. He decides to just accept the cone with a smile and a small, "thank you."

It's really pathetic. He really shouldn't get so happy about something so small, but he does. The only people who have known about Keith's diet before Keith had to tell them were Shiro and Adam. So having someone know and specifically ask for something that goes with it, it's just… nice. 

_God_ , he's pathetic. 

"Thought so," Lance says before taking a big lick of his ice cream. "I'd remember that god awful order any day." 

"It's not _bad_ ," Keith argues, catching small drops of his ice cream that threaten to drip off because of the heat. He takes a bite out of the swirl and Lance grimaces at him, like he always would. The boy can't seem to bite into ice cream, to which Keith would just call him weak for. 

"It's just _chocolate_ ," Lance counters back, pointing to Keith's ice cream with his own, "Haunts my dreams to this day." 

Keith huffs. "You're ridiculous."

They laugh together, and it makes Keith feel airy and happy. He didn't know Lance would be this civil— no, scratch that. _Friendly—_ to him after what Keith did. He will always feel guilty for the look in Lance's eyes. Usual sea blue turned to clouded storms—

"That day was good though," Lance interrupts Keith's thoughts, and Keith looks at him questioningly, head tilted slightly and brows furrowed. Lance's face softens a little, something Keith can't help but notice, but then he's pushing whatever thought came over him and changing back to his earlier expression. "The broadwalk. It was a good day."

Keith smiles, nodding. Lance is on about their first date. Because of Keith and Lance's beating around the bush for about half a year, Lance had decided that their first date would need to be the best of the best. 

" _Movie and dinner is too much of a boring cliche_ ," Lance had said. It was then when Keith had mentioned the fair at the end of the broadwalk, and Lance perked up. " _Cliche, but a_ fun _cliche_ !" he had cheered before kissing Keith loudly on the cheek and laughing " _This is why you're my boyfriend_."

He looks up to Lance and they smile at the memory. 

The setting sun, glowing lights, fair games and shared food. Kissing in the photo booth, competing to see who was better at the games, and riding the ferris wheel. Lance had insisted they ride the ferris wheel at the end of the night, and Keith had always been weak to Lance, so of course he did. And of course he kissed him once they reached the top. 

How Lance wouldn't stand for their first date to be any less than amazing. And it really wasn't. 

Keith laughs at a thought that suddenly pops into his head. "To think that you were the most annoying person I knew."

"I was _delightful_ ," Lance protests, narrowing his eyes and jutting out his lip too animatedly that Keith can't help but huff a laugh.

———————————

**Then**

October - Junior Year

Halloween has arrived. Lance and Hunk invited Keith to their annual Halloween plans. Keith had asked what they were going to be doing, but both boys had stayed quiet at Lance's insistence of _it's a surprise._

Krolia is far too excited at her son's Halloween plans. The usually stoic woman is practically sparkling. But he guessed it's because of his past of not being the most liked kid in his schools. She beams and claps her hands together before saying they have to go all out, dressing Keith up as a werewolf. 

She seats him in one of the kitchen chairs and pushes his hair back with a headband. His hair is too short to hold back in a full ponytail, so he looks like a right child with his two mini pig-tails. 

He crosses his arms as Krolia dabs a weird sponge thing into the grey, black, brown and white face paints. It feels weird on his skin, as makeup always does. It can look cool, but the only thing he'd ever really _choose_ to wear is eyeliner. It looks cool. And no, it doesn't make him an emo. 

The paint is mainly around his eyes, jaw, hairline and inside his cheek bones, flicks and drags of darker and lighter shades to look like fur. Krolia also paints his nose and bushes up his eyebrows. 

When she pulls out the pigtails and starts to backcomb his hair, he jumps out of his seat, hands going straight to his head to protect it.

"Mom!" 

"Oh, right." She puts on a voice that's meant to be a mimic of Keith, "'No touching the hair.'" Texas, who is currently sat in the living room, stifles his laugh with his hand over his mouth. "Don't you want to look the part?" 

"I have a face _full_ of makeup."

"Fine, let me just do the scratch then." Keith sighs in resignation and seats himself back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest. 

Once he's got the fake scratch going along his neck, he steps up to the mirror and fits in his fake teeth. They're the special ones that you mold specifically to your mouth, as they're the only ones that work for Keith with his already sharp canines. 

As he's pulling on his ratty, old red flannel, his mom comes around the corner, phone camera facing him. 

"Smile!" she says, a click going off as she takes a photo of him. 

"Mom! I probably look terrible!" he takes the phone from her hand and sees himself looking back, pout in his lips and furrow in his brows. He looks like a child having a tantrum. 

He doesn't bother deleting it, otherwise Krolia would just take even more photos of him. He just passes the phone back and she shows it to Shiro and Adam, who have been watching the whole time. They laugh, and Keith flips them off, which causes Krolia to flick his ear. 

"No swearing," She scolds, but she's laughing slightly. 

When he's walking out the door to Lance and Hunk, his mum pulls him in for a hug. He lets out an _oof_ before hugging back. So he doesn't see Lance's stunned face and Hunk's snide smirk at seeing his best friend's reaction to Keith. Hunk would know Lance's "Oh no, he's hot." face anywhere. 

Keith turns back to the boys and grins, fake teeth on show. Lance has his brown hair slicked back, black eyeshadow that makes the blue in his eyes pop, blood streaks down the corners of his mouth and a matching pair of fake teeth. His costume is a black cape with a popped collar, white shirt underneath and a cheap pair of black jeans with his usual black converse. He doesn't make a bad vampire. 

Hunk is dressed as Frankenstein's monster. Green face-paint covering his face and neck, usual orange bandana abandoned and instead he wears a green one with a stitch pattern going across it (which he finds pretty creative) and two fake pairs of nuts and bolts either side of his neck. He wears an oversized suit and boots to make his already broad figure even more so. 

"Ready to—" 

"How do we know you're the real Keith and not his bigger, cooler, grizzled older brother?" Lance interrupts, pointing a finger at Keith accusingly. Hunk has to hold his hand over his mouth to not laugh. 

"I'm dressed up as a werewolf, what'd you expect?" Keith deadpans, walking past Lance. 

That's how their night starts. 

Keith doesn't know why he didn't guess that Lance and Hunk's halloween plans would be a haunted forest. It consists of multiple people walking through the park's forest entrance and having to get through to the party on the other side. Within the scatter of trees, they have people dressed as monsters and anything creepy to try and scare the people walking through, daring them to step any further. 

It seems like fun. Definitely something Keith would be into. When they're outside the forest's entry, Lance spins on his heel to face them, hands on his hips. 

"Let's make a bet!" Lance practically sings. Keith and Hunk look between themselves before turning back to Lance. Both exasperatedly tilt their heads at Lance in a way of acceptance and Lance's grin only grows. "First one to scream has to buy the other two's lunch for a month!" He holds up his finger and his smile turns more impish. "I like my fries salty with no vinegar, to whichever one of you loses."

Hunk sighs before nodding, and Keith follows. He can't imagine Lance holding up very well. 

Well, Keith was _wrong_. 

Because Lance _does_ hold up well. Like, weirdly so. Instead of clinging to Keith or Hunks arms like Keith had expected him to, he specifically likes looking for the workers and striking conversations with them. Purposely not being affected by the scare tactics. When some of them like to ignore his attempt at conversation and just try to scare him, he doesn't even flinch. 

Keith is pretty sure he or Hunk are going to lose, even if he doesn't scare easily. Just because Lance seems even more likely than Keith to not scare. At the moment, the tall boy is obnoxiously throwing an arm over a zombies shoulder and talking loudly, arm gestures even louder. 

"Is he like this all the time?" Keith asks Hunk, who's actually the one who seems most scared, but still hasn't screamed. He's more of a figity scared. 

"Lance? Yeah, mostly. Just gotta catch him off guard to scare him." Keith mulls over Hunk's answer before he spots another worker next to a tree, and gets an idea. 

He jogs over, not wanting to draw Lance's attention, and pokes the clown on the shoulder. He looks up, eyeing Keith in a way that speaks _what do you want?_ Because really, the only person who really interacts with them is Lance. 

"I was wondering if you could scare someone for me. He's the super annoying one currently dancing in front of the zombie." The clown looks over Keith's shoulder and sees the scene of Lance doing a very dramatic version of what Keith can only call a vampire dance. Flinging his cape around and jumping from foot to foot. Keith laughs at the sight. He's a goof. 

"I am _so_ for that," The clown answers, lips quirking up that causes the red lines that travel from the corners to move with it. He and Keith make their way up behind Lance, and Keith has to hold in his laugh. 

Lance doesn't notice them quietly walking up behind him, so when the fake clown wraps his arms around Lance's shoulders and asks Lance if he, "Wants to float, too," in a quite convincing Pennywise voice, Lance screams, jumps from the person, and into Keith's arms. 

Everyone who's audience to the scare are all laughing so much that some have to clutch their stomachs as they double over. Lance just pouts as he grips Keith's flannel tighter. It's what he _gets_. 

Keith leans down to whisper in Lance's ear, not fully noticing the hitch in the boy's breath. "I like my fries plain." Lance pushes his face away, but doesn't let go of his arm. His nose is scrunched and scowl deep. 

Hunk and Keith don't let Lance forget about his loss for the rest of the way through the path. As they walk, Lance doesn't let go of Keith's arm, and he likes the warmth radiating from Lance, so he doesn't pull away. It makes him kinda happy having Lance close like this, and he doesn't know why. 

Once they've gotten through, they're free to enter the party. Hunk and Lance go straight to the food, and Keith hangs back. He looks around the party and smiles. 

It's full of people in different costumes. Some are half-assed, like the guy he knows as Josh from English class. He's got a Jason mask lifted to sit on the top of his head, but apart from that, he's just dressed casually. 

Keith recognises the clown that scared Lance speaking to him, and when he looks over, Keith sends him a two-finger salute. He waves back and walks up to Keith. 

"Hey." 

"You did a good job," Keith comments as a way of greeting. "Seeing him scream like that after betting I'd be scared was so worth it." He turns to where Lance and Hunk are sitting together around the fire. They have paper plates with untouched food, both too caught up in talking with two cats to really pay attention to eating. 

Lance's hair has gone back to a mess of curls instead of being gelled back now, having moved a lot in the forest. The fire catches on it and turns some of the strands golden. He catches Keith's eye and grins, flashing his fake teeth. It warms Keith's chest, but he doesn't dare name the feeling. Too scared of what it could possibly mean. 

"Thanks for letting us scare your boyfriend. It was fun." The worker laughs, and Keith faces him with wide eyes. 

"Oh, no. He's not…" he stammers, a heat growing on his cheeks. 

The worker backtracks, holding his arms up apologetically. "Oh, sorry. Just thought because of the way you looked at each other, you know?"

Keith turns back to look at Lance. Did they seem like a couple? What did he mean by _each other_? In the back of his mind, he knows he looks at Lance differently to others. Reason why not yet having a label. He nods wordlessly, not bothering to disagree. Maybe Lance felt the same weird thing in his chest like Keith. 

Maybe?

 _Nah_. 

"Nah, he's nothing more than a friend." He waves off. Lance couldn't like him, so there's no point. And Keith is pretty sure he doesn't like Lance in that way so… 

"Well, my name's James Griffin." Keith looks back to the boy and catches that his smile is a lot more playful than before. He holds out his hand and Keith takes it. 

"Keith," he replies. 

"I know. I've seen you around Altea before." 

"Oh." Keith replies dumbly. He goes yo say more, but Lance comes up behind Keith, arms thrown over his shoulders as he hooks his chin over and smiles at the two boys, flashing his fake teeth. 

"What's up, boys?" 

"Was just talking about how good James scared you." Lance nudges Keith jokingly, and Keith nudges back. They end up leaning closer to one another, if that's even possible, but Keith doesn't mind. 

"James?" Lance asks, tilting his head slightly and Keith can't help soften a little. James salutes in a form of introduction and Lance's mouth forms an O. 

"Didn't think _the_ James Griffin was a dressing up type," He laughs. 

"Ryan made me do it." James' shoulders slump a little as he rolls his eyes fondly at the mention of his friend from the football team. 

"Well, would you mind if I took Keith? Monster Mash has just started, and Keith has to dance with me."

"Wha— I never said yes to dancing." Keith protests, but Lance just turns puppy-dog-eyes-mode on, jutting out his lip and everything. 

" _Please_."

Keith sighs, long and drawn out, but he can't help but smile when Lance grabs his wrist, ready to pull him away. 

James shakes his head with a laugh, and when both Lance and Keith turn to look at him, his face is unreadable as he waves and walks over to a boy dressed as a wizard. 

Lance beams as he drags Keith with him, and Keith can't hold his smile back, and can't ignore the warm feeling in his chest as Lance leans close to him. And he knows it isn't due to the fire next to them. 

Oh no. 

——————————

**Now**

Lance and Keith had spent most of the afternoon on the beach together. They talk about high school and a little of generic, boring stuff they got up to during the last five years. It's nice to talk. There's no pressure on them to talk about _them_. About the break-up. Not yet. 

The sun is starting to set when they walk along the beach. Bright orange and red hues covering the sands and gassy dunes and glistening on the water. Lance and Keith are almost walking in the same position— hands behind their backs, holding their flip flops as they kick up sand occasionally. 

"So, what brought you to Varadero?" Keith asks, breaking the comfortable silence they had just been in. Lance looks up, and Keith can recognise the fear and worry in Lance's eyes. Anxious that Keith doesn't want him there, so Keith is quick to backtrack. "Just curious. I just wanted to know."

Lance seems to believe him, but hesitates to answer Keith's question. He sighs before speaking up. "Well, I have some things going on back at home." He pushes his brown hair back as his face contorts frustratedly for a second. "I needed to get away. Varadero was my childhood home." He gestures widely to their surroundings. "It's where I'm from. So it brings me comfort to be here. Allura asked Shiro, and he said yeah." He shrugs half heartedly with one shoulder, simple lift and drop. Keith can tell Lance is only explaining a fraction of the story, but he doesn't push. He knows what Lance feels. 

Instead, he focuses on the little bit of information that caught his ear. "You're still close with Allura?" 

"Uh-huh," Lance smiles, nodding slightly. 

"How are her and Lotor?" 

Lance's smile only widens, and Keith can't help but smile a little, too. "Married."

"Oh right, I remember getting an invite…" He mumbles, scratching the back of his neck as he holds his sandals with one hand. The fact that he skipped out on his high school friends wedding is a little bit of a touchy subject that just adds Keith's guilt. As if he didn't have enough. "I'm sorry I missed it."

"It's okay. I missed Shiro and Adams, so…" He trails off, and Keith can tell he really does feel guilty. Lance missing Shiro and Adam's wedding was disappointing to Keith, but he understood. "Anyway! What's your reason for coming here?"

"I— uhm," Keith stammers. He can't tell Lance all the shit that's happened. That he's trying to heal from everything. That he's trying to find his music again. Keith's music is personal. His music brings on vulnerability that only the people closest to him are really allowed to see. Lance was one of those people. But, he couldn't be anymore. "Same as you. Just, getting away from some things." It isn't a complete lie. So it's okay. 

"I'm happy you're doing okay." Lance smiles, and Keith smiles back. At least that is true. He is doing okay. "I really hope you don't mind me staying here. I'm sure I could leave if—"

"Not at all. We can be friends, Lance—" He starts, before adding, "only if you'd want to, of course."

"I'd love to."

They smile at each other and Lance kicks a little bit of sand at Keith's feet. 

——————————

**Then**

October - Junior Year

The three boys had planned to stay at Lance's house for the night. It's the biggest, and dealt with so much noise from Lance's huge family that two extra people wouldn't change a thing. So when they pile through the front door, Lance's mother is there to meet Keith for the first time. 

"Nice to meet you, Keith," She greets, almost immediately pulling him down into a hug. "I'm Sofia."

She's quite small and has light skin. Her blue eyes are so bright that Keith _knows_ that's where Lance gets his. He has her curls and the small upturn in their noses is the same, but Keith can tell Lance gets his height and figure from his father. 

He hesitates a little, but it's not too long before he hugs back. She's comforting, and makes Keith feel welcome already. When she pulls away, and the rest of Lance's family start to gather, Lance and Hunk laugh at his fate of being examined by the whole McClain-Gonzalez family. Which he finds out is Lance's full last name, but Lance just shortens it for convenience. Everyone seems to mispronounce the second name.

Keith understands. Shiro and him never tell people that their parents also hyphenated their last names, making Keith and Shiro, as well as their parents Shirogane-Kogane's. It's a mouthful, so they just stick to a specific one whenever they feel like it. It's where Shiro gets the nickname _Shiro,_ too _._

Veronica, Lance's older sister and Rachel, Lance's twin ("I'm older by five minutes!" Lance had interrupted) come and inspect him before Lance's brothers.

"So _you're_ the Keith Lance has told us all about, huh?" Veronica hums, looking over his shoulder and smirking. It's one Keith's seen Lance make many times, and it almost brings him to laugh at their similarity. When Keith looks behind himself, it's Lance, pouting with a slight blush covering his face. Okay? What was that? And Lance spoke about him? He feels like an idiot for the small fizz of excitement that rushes through him at the thought. 

It's after about ten questions from Rachel and Veronica, _each_ , that Sofia shoos them away with a dish cloth. 

"Leave the poor boy alone," She scolds in fluent Spanish that Keith has no hope in understanding. That's when Marco comes up to Keith, a lob-sided smile, unsaved chin and shaggy hair making him look like, dare Keith think it, a hippy.

Marco is a lot softer on Keith than Lance's two sisters were, so it gives Keith a bit of a breather. Marco's nice. He can see a bit of Lance in him, but Marco is a lot more laid back than his younger brother. Keith finds out that their eldest brother, Luis, is with his girlfriend. Apparently the twenty-seven year-old is thinking about proposing to her because halloween is her favourite holiday. It's fun to learn so much about Lance's family. 

It's weird, but nice. Being introduced to Lance's family like he's someone important. He likes it. He likes _them_. 

Once he's been freed, the three boys go upstairs and dress into comfortable clothes before going to the bathroom to wipe off their makeup. Hunk and Keith have the most, their faces covered in the cheap smears of store bought paints, but they're still out before Lance, and Keith wonders what the hell he's doing while he and Hunk prepare their sleeping bags and blow up mattresses. 

When Lance comes out with his hair held back with a headband and a lavender face mask covering his face, Keith stares with wide eyes. 

Lance has no idea about Keith's perplexed stupor, but Hunk notices and nudges him with his elbow. When he looks, Hunk is smirking with a raised brow. 

"Lance has a super serious face care routine. He wears a special face mask after any day of makeup and then even when he doesn't, he still has a routine that lasts thirty minutes."

 _No wonder he's so pretty_ , Keith thinks to himself. Well, he _thinks_ he does, but when Hunk's eyes widen a fraction and the smile on his face turns more coy, Keith realises he said it out loud. He feels the back of his neck prickling with warmth, before it slowly rises up and into his cheeks. _Shit_ , he internally curses himself, and this time he doesn't say it out loud. 

Hunk looks between Lance and Keith, before scooting closer to Keith and whispering into his ear, “Hey, buddy. Do you… like Lance?” 

Keith pulls back from his friend, eyes wide in horror. “W-what? No! Never!” He splutters, pulling a pillow close to his chest. But he knows the colour of his face must be telling an entirely different story. 

“Double negative,” Hunk simply says before getting up from his place on the blow up mattress and making his way to Lance. Keith sits, heart beating rapidly at the possibility that Hunk is going to tell Lance that he likes him. But Hunk is wrong, isn't he? Keith… Keith can't like Lance… that weird feeling at the fire was nothing. 

Hunk doesn’t say anything to Lance, but it doesn’t stop Keith from crossing his arms with a huff and muttering a chipped, “He’s literally the most annoying person I know.” to himself. Anything to try convince his heart that what Hunk said is untrue. But of course that's not working. He's smart enough to know that. 

He has a crush on his best friend. 

————————————

December - Junior Year

During the Winter of Junior year, they have a snow storm that leaves a thick blanket of snow covering their town. Shiro decides to go with Keith to school, sitting next to him as Keith attempts to learn how to drive in the snow. It's to prepare for when he gets the car him and his dad are currently fixing up. 

So when Shiro steps out of the passenger side instead of the driver, he's hit straight in the face with a snowball. 

Lance grimaces. "Oh, sorry, Shiro. I was aiming for Keith—" He starts, but is cut off when a snowball hits him in his face. 

"Heh, like that?" Keith laughs, newly made snowball already in his hand. 

That starts out the war. Keith throws one, Lance throws two, and Keith throws four —constantly building it up and one upping the other until they have piles of snow in their arms and they charge at one another. 

When they end up on the ground, laughing with a bunch of melting snow down their clothes, Hunk decides it's time to join in and gathers more than the amount of Keith and Lance collected put together, and dumps it on top of their heads. They both scream, Lance more than Keith, naturally, and tackle Hunk to the ground with them. 

They all end up late to class. 

——————————

**Now**

Keith turns over for the third time in the last five minutes and decides, _that's it_ , before throwing the blanket off of him. 

He's too hot, and he can't seem to relax. Sleep won't come, so he grabs a drink of water and slides out of the backdoor, onto the beach. 

He sits in the sand, threading his hands through it and watching the grains dip and curve around his pale digits, over and under his skin. He isn't wearing his gloves anymore, and he feels like laughing a little at his ridiculous tan lines. 

He takes another sip of his water and sighs, feeling the wind brush past him, catching in the plants and causing a whistle. He starts whistling along without even thinking, and then tapping a tune into his thighs. A smile tugs at his lips as he continues, and when he realises he's making music, he sprints back into the house, grabs his guitar and notebook and runs back outside. 

He tries whistling the tune and tapping the wood of his guitar along before he writes some chords he feels would fit. He tries them out, they don't fit. He tries again a few more times. After a while, he's playing a small section of a melody on his guitar, grin so bright that his cheeks and jaw hurt. 

He tries to carry on with the tune, think of something more, but it doesn't work, and his shoulders slump. Oh well, he's gotten somewhere. 

He looks up to the night sky and smiles. _You see me, mom? I'm better. I'm gonna make you proud_. He says in his mind.

He goes to sleep dreaming about his mother's warm hugs, her beautiful smile and perfect voice. He dreams about his dad's hearty laughs, cringy jokes and heroism that Keith would always admire. 

It's the first real night's sleep he's gotten in years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked it :)
> 
> Okay, but I was watching She-ra as I wrote this chapter and I finished it and its such a good show omg. Anyone who was angry at dreamworks for Voltron, She-ra is like a huge redemption. 
> 
> All else I have to say about the show is that:
> 
> 1\. I love Entrapta! Like, so much <3  
> 2\. Micah is literally Keith. Like, all I could see was Keith and I love it.  
> 3\. I've had a crush on Catra since she wore that suit.
> 
> Anyway, see you all in the next chapter!
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Li6ByFTwMiqG1dc9vf8nB?si=dQJAlkrvRweHm4jrIi0Gng)
> 
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/tea_addict264?r=name)


	3. Geronimo - Sheppard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the tension between Keith and Lance's past selves boils over, Keith and Lance of the present continue to grow closer, old habits and feelings beginning to resurface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back with a chapterrrr! (σ‾▿‾)-σ
> 
> My life has been a big pile of teenage angst lately and whenever I found some downtime to work on this, because this story is my only source of serotonin, the chapter proved to be reallyyyyyy hard to write. Like, super hard :') 
> 
> The next chapter will be up very, very soon, because it was so much easier to write, so I got to it faster and felt I needed to redeem lmao. 
> 
> I've got a decent amount of the next 3 chapters written, too, and life is giving me a bit of a break. So hopefully updates will be more frequent now :) 
> 
> But anyway, I hope y'all like it <3

_~Moving away too fast_

_That we crushed it_

_But it’s in the past_

_We can make this leap_

_Through the curtains of the waterfall~_

-Sheppard-

**Then**

April - Junior Year

Lance throws his arms around Keith's shoulders from behind, letting out a teasing, "What was that about, huh?" and laughing a little as Keith pretends to push him away. 

But Keith knows he isn't actually going to. It's become their _thing_. Always finding reasons to be close. To create a contact between each other. Keith likes it. Ever since he's realised he has feelings for Lance… He's noticed a change. Not massive, just the little things. 

Lance's question is about what was just going on with Keith and James, as Lance and Hunk had walked up to Keith in the hall right as James had handed Keith a piece of paper before walking away with a two-finger salute. 

"James Griffin just… gave me his number," Keith says, obviously shocked. It's weird finding out someone likes him, despite his suspicion over the fact for the last eight months. "Like, I suspected he liked me. We've been talking a lot more since Halloween, but… I don't know." He shrugs the shoulder Lance isn't leaning against, slipping his phone out of his pocket and putting in the contact information. 

Hunk wraggles his brows from Keith's other side as they all start walking to class. "Ooo, Keith's got admirers," He teases. "You gonna call him?" 

Keith shrugs again. He's not exactly interested in James. James _is_ very good-looking. And he can be fun. But Keith likes _Lance_. Even if it has taken him a while to accept his feelings for his best friend, he knows he does. He'd never tell them that, though. 

Speaking of Lance. 

"Wait, wait, _wait_ ," Lance starts, stopping all three of them as he leans closer into Keith's space. "I've seen you reject a _number —pun intended—_ of girls who've tried to give you their number or ask for yours. Why accept James'?" He asks. 

Keith and Hunk just stare side-along at Lance for a few moments as the other groups of students weave around them in the busy hallway. Hunk's expression just screams pitying disappointment for his childhood friend, and Keith can't hide his snide smirk. Lance looks at them quizzically, seriously searching for the answer. It's actually funny how absolutely clueless he is. Keith doesn't know how he likes this doofus. 

Keith can see the moment the metaphysical lightbulb goes off in Lance's head. His eyes widening, mouth forming an 'O' as he stares at Keith.

Keith flicks both of the small circular badges on his leather jacket: Pride rainbow on one, and shades of green, white and blues on the other, both shining when they catch the light that streams through the hallway windows. Lance's eyes widen even more (if that's even possible) and his cheeks go red. Keith doesn't know how Lance seemed to miss the badge Keith has worn throughout all his time in high school. He's seriously a mystery. 

Keith can feel the arm around him stiffen slightly, “Right," Lance coughs out, before clearing his throat to try and get control of his shock. "Cool, cool, cool." He nods repetitively. "Cool as ice, you know,” He chokes, voice going an octave higher at the end, before throwing finger guns at Keith and _winking_. 

Keith stares at the finger guns, and then back to Lance, who looks like he's sweating. He's sweating, right? He looks like it. 

"Well," Hunk claps, loud from his big hands. "That's that. Let's get to class!" he calls over the situation, throwing his arms over both their shoulders, poking his head between them and pushing forward. 

They walk into class, Hunk still 'guiding' them. Lance is stiff when he sits in his chair, seeming in shock. He's reacting more than Keith's own dad had at the news. But he guesses he's lived with his dad for seventeen years, so he probably figured it out long before Keith's coming out. 

Lance clicks his pen, and Keith leans his elbow in the desk to fully regard Lance. "Hey, you alright? You seem kinda… I don't know how to explain." He huffs, a little frazzled by Lance's reaction. 

"I'm okay. Just surprised, you know." He laughs awkwardly. It's weird, seeing Lance nervous. He's got such a bravado about him usually. "Interesting to find out."

"Why, you interested?" Keith wraggles his brows, copying exactly how Lance had done it not eight months earlier. 

Lance's reaction is almost instant. Mouth going slack and eyes widening slightly. He sees colours of pink and red blossom Lance's cheeks before he's turning back to his work and muttering a quiet, "Maybe."

Keith freezes. Gay panic officially activating inside his brain because… Maybe? Lance said maybe. No. No, no, no. It couldn't be, could it? He mis-heard, right? Or Lance was taking the piss. Had to be. He clears his throat and turns back to his notes, face leaning into his palm to hide his own blush. 

What Keith and Lance don't see or hear, is Hunk, leaning to whispers, "It's starting!" into Allura's ear and the latter giggling into her hand. 

——————————

**Now**

A week into his time in Varadero and as Lance's roommate, Keith walks into the kitchen to find Lance dancing again and making some breakfast. It's become a common occurrence, finding Lance up early and cooking. It's different to younger-Lance, who would make Keith stay in bed two hours longer than he would first intend because of Lance's love to sleep in, Keith cuddled up to his side. 

When the brunet spots Keith, he smiles and gestures to the counter with his head, hands occupied with the spatula and pan. Again, common occurrence. Lance will offer Keith breakfast, and sometimes he'll say _no thanks_ , but there's other times he'll be hungry and join. Like this time. He's less awkward than the first time Keith walked into the kitchen when the whole _exes-becoming-roomates_ debacle started. The only other awkward time was when he caught the tail end of an argument Lance was having with someone over the phone, a few days ago. 

Lance is serving up the bacon onto Keith's plate when Keith speaks up. "How are you up so early?" He asks, tearing a piece of toast and speaking around the bit he put in his mouth. "You always sleep in." 

Lance puts the pan back on the stove and sits next to Keith before answering. "The bed isn’t warm enough for me to have a lay in." He shrugs, beginning to eat his breakfast. Keith guesses that's true. The beds are barely slept in, so they're bound to be a little uncomfortable. 

Most of their breakfast is spent in a comfortable silence that Keith could always get with Lance. Despite Lance's ability to talk for the whole of America, he could also be quiet with Keith, and he appreciates that. But when Lance does talk, it's not like Keith really needs to say too much. It works. It's something that always worked with them. 

"I was actually planning on going shopping today. Maybe making some of my mom's recipes for tea," Lance says, and Keith realises Lance has finished his food, besides the yolk of his eggs, as Keith expects. He's always hated them. 

"That sounds like a good idea." He slides Lance's plate across the counter and starts scraping the yolks onto his own plate and cutting one open, yellow inside running out of the centre. "I could come with you," He says before biting the food off of his fork. 

It's then that he looks up to Lance as he chews. Lance is staring, mouth agape as he watches Keith. Keith raises a questioning brow before putting the other half of the yolk in his mouth, and that's when the realisation of what he just did finally starts to register in his mind. He pauses with his mouth around the fork, eyes wide. Before he can even get out an apology, Lance is laughing. It's the childlike and easy-going laugh Keith both knows so well and is entirely unfamiliar with. It really was a long time they spent apart. 

Lance leans forward, resting his chin in his hand as his laughter dies off, leaving a slight quirk to his lips as he regards Keith. 

"Some things never change."

"I'm sorry." He leans back in his chair, tugging at one of the many strands of inky hair that fell out of his ponytail during his sleep. "Habit." 

"No need to apologise. It was funny." Lance grabs their now-clean plates, stacking them and walking to the sink, also grabbing the pan and spatula in the way. Keith follows, fully intent on not allowing Lance to both cook and wash. He grabs the dishes, and Lance let's him as the taller boy leans against the counter next to him. "Brings back memories," He breathes. 

Keith smiles as he turns on the tap and the hot water starts running, filling the wash bowl. He likes that him and Lance haven't changed. That they'll always be the two boys, best friends. 

Back then, Lance would have wrapped his arms around Keith's waist and hooked his chin over his shoulder, being clingy as ever… 

Some things still aren't the same with them, he sees, and he can't say he's happy about it. But he pushes that out of his mind and squirts the soap into the bowl, scrubbing at the dishes. 

When Keith's changing into more decent clothes to go shopping, he catches sight of his guitar and notebook. Maybe going to the market isn't a good idea. Maybe he should stay and practise more. He's made progress since that night on the beach, but not as much as he would like. 

"Keith, you ready?" Lance asks from the hall, and Keith finds himself smiling at the thought of spending the day with Lance. 

No, a breather will allow himself to relax, take in any inspiration he needs. 

"Yeah," Keith calls back, picking up his notebook in case he gets a little burst of inspiration while out, and walks out to see Lance. 

He's wearing a loose grey tank-top, cream cargo shorts and a pair of sandals. His tanned, toned skin on show, and Keith silently appreciates it. He's allowed to be attracted to him, okay? Lance is leaning against the wall, looking down at his phone. His brows are knitted together and Keith's sure there would be burning holes in his phone if he could. 

He wonders why Lance looks so troubled, and is about to ask, but then Lance looks up to see Keith, and he instantly brightens from the earlier sombre look. _He_ did that. _Keith_. He likes that he can make Lance happy, even as just friends. 

Keith can already feel his inspiration growing. 

——————————

**Then**

June - Junior Year

Throughout summer break, Hunk, Lance and Keith are almost inseparable. Keith has stayed at the McClain and the Garrett houses more times than he can count, and he enjoys every one. 

Lance's mom hugs him everytime he walks through the door, and he happily hugs back these days. Rachel and Veronica try to gossip with him, but it's mainly just them spouting off nonsense as Lance silently mimics them from behind. Keith's pretty sure Lance has made it a challenge to make Keith crack, but he hasn't failed on holding in his laughter yet. 

The Garrett's have made Keith and his family more banana bread than he could ever eat, and they always try to teach him how to cook, because he, quite honestly, can't cook for shit. 

"You're a growing boy. You need to learn how to make a good meal for both you and your future husband," Hunk's mom had said the other week when him and Lance had stayed over. "Tsuyoshi, you should teach him!" She'd suggested to Hunk, and Keith always found someone calling him his real name quite bizarre. 

It's fun. The summer with them has been great. And it's only just started. 

He sighs again, heat of late June really starting to get to him. He's already ditched his shirt, tucking it into the waist of his shorts as him, Lance and Hunk walk to the quarry. 

It's a popular summer spot. Everyone comes here to jump from the cliff-side. It's a 60 foot drop into a large pool of water, and has a waterfall that runs down a part of it. Keith's never been here in all his years living in California, but Hunk and Lance are extremely familiar with the area. 

"Did you know that it's bottomless?" Lance asks as all three of them walk along the rocky shore at the base of the jump, looking out to the glistening water. 

"That's such a lie." Keith threads his fingers through his sweaty hair, pushing it out if his face. He can't wait until his hair is long enough to tie up. 

"Is not!" Lance argues. 

"Is too."

"Is not—" 

"Alright, alright. Let's just go in the water and see for ourselves," Hunk cuts in, easing the boys with the familiar weight of his hands on their shoulders. 

"I bet I can get down there before you do." Lance holds out his hand to Keith in word or a challenge, and really, who is Keith to back down from a challenge Lance sets up. 

"Oh yeah?" Keith starts, crossing his arms as a way to make Lance wait for Keith's commitment to the bet. He smirks as he leans his weight onto one leg. "What's in it for me when I win?" 

" _Oh_ , confident, are we?" Lance says. "Fine." He looks Keith up and down, and seems to lose a little of his confidence as he suggests, "last one down has to do what the other says."

It's easy enough, so Keith holds his hand out to Lance. The back of their hands hit together, then their palms, and then they fist bump. They shake hands, joining their pinky fingers as their hands begin to pull away before their pinkies click apart. 

It's a handshake Lance had made specifically for bets when he was younger. He started it with Veronica when he tried to get out of all the chores his mama would give him, and it's transferred to his official bet handshake. 

"Deal— _Lance!_ " The Cuban boy is already running up the rocks that leads to the top of the quarry, and Keith realises he has a bet with this idiot, so rips his shirt from his pants, throws it to Hunk and starts running, too. "Lance, you cheat!"

"Come on, Keithy-boy! Keep up."

Keith tries. He really does. But he's not fast enough, and soon enough, Lance is pulling his legs to his chest and disappearing over the cliff's edge, shouting loud. 

" _Geronimo!_ " 

Keith reaches the edge and doesn't think twice before jumping only a few seconds after. He sees Lance resurfacing as he plummets into the water. 

The bubbles fizz and dance around him, and he's filled with so much adrenaline. It feels freeing to jump off and land surrounded by water, holding him up. It's also a nice break from the burning summer sun. 

He rises back up from the water, smiling at the feeling of the jump. It kinda registers to him that he just did that for the first ever like it was nothing, and it's because of his idiotic crush, Lance McClain. 

Lance is smiling, too, but his is more triumphant in his win. Lance winks before swimming towards the waterfall, out of the way of everyone. Keith likes the waterfall. It's like a curtain of water that falls from the stream above. They laugh and splash each other until they're sitting on a slab that is just about coming out of the water. Keith pushes his dripping hair out of his face and Lance does the same, they lay with their backs to the slab, water washing around them in shallow waves. 

Lance closes his eyes, and so does Keith, catching their breath from the swimming. It's quiet for a moment, their breathing and the dripping of water the only sounds apart from the occasional cheer, scream and then splash from the other side of the waterfall. 

That is, until Lance is speaking up. 

"Where's my prize, loser?" He sounds choked up, and Keith wonders if swimming really made him that tired. 

"Even though you cheated, what do you want?" Keith asks, not moving from his spot or opening his eyes. 

Lance doesn't answer for a while, and the only way Keith knows Lance is there with his eyes still closed is the sound of Lance's fidgeting, causing the water on the rock to splash slightly. As well as the warm breath he feels ghosting his cheek as Lance turns towards him. When Keith opens his eyes to look side-along at Lance, he's already looking at Keith, seeming scared to ask for whatever it is he wants. 

Keith turns on his side, waiting for Lance to speak up. When Lance pouts and the determination in his eyes is strong, Keith knows Lance is internally screaming _fuck it. Bite the bullet_. Which is a little confusing to Keith, as it can't be that bad. 

Oh _boy_ , are the words Lance says unexpected. 

"Kiss me?" The second the question is shared into the air between them, Lance goes beet red, and Keith isn't far off. He heard wrong, hadn't he? Lance could have easily said kick me. But Lance looks so determined in the request, and he wouldn't blush at the request for a kick. He's weird, but not _that_ weird. 

It's obvious Lance didn't think Keith would do it when he chose that as Keith's payment, if the way his eyes widen as Keith leans in close and places a hand on the side of his jaw is any indication. Keith doesn't stop, though. 

Lance's lips are smooth. Wet from the water, but it's river water, nothing salty. It's just a simple peck, but then Keith is pulling back slightly to readjust the position, and Lance is chasing him, catching Keith's lips with his and pulling him close by the waist. 

He staggers for only a moment before kissing back. Because _holy shit_ if he hasn't wanted to do this for the past nine months. Ever since Lance had burnt his tongue on the Christmas stand hot chocolate and pulled his tongue out at Keith, he wondered what I'd be like to kiss him better. And it had only grown since then. And now _Lance_ was kissing _him_. 

He feels a giddiness grow inside him and he smiles into the kiss. Lance does, too, and it just makes the moment _so much fucking better_ for Keith. The boy he has been pining for is finally kissing him. 

But they aren't in an exactly private place, so he starts pulling back, breathing, "Lance…" between small pecks as he keeps being drawn in. 

"Just— just one more, loser," Lance says, trying to be funny, so that's all the encouragement Keith needs to lean in, ready to kiss Lance again. He's weak for the boy, okay? 

But the sound of two people laughing and splashing their way makes them pull apart.

"Lotor, you're the worst!" Allura giggles as Lotor holds her over his shoulder, pushing through the water. Keith can feel Lance stiffen at the sight of the schools 'it' couple, as people called them. 

Keith can't help the weird bubbling that happens in his stomach at Lance's reaction. Because Keith has always had an inkling that Lance has feelings for the girl, and Keith can't actually blame him. Allura is _straight-out-of-disney_ type of gorgeous, and she's fun and has a certain energy to her that Keith doesn't have. 

He feels jealous to not be like her. He knows it's childish and unnecessary. Lance has kinda hinted that he could perhaps, possibly, maybe be interested in Keith, and he hasn't forgotten. But he doesn't know. Lance is brazen in his attempts with people. He flirts and is shameless. He's not like that with Keith. 

He's pulled out of his thoughts when Allura notices them and speaks up. "Oh, we didn't know you two were here," she says, tapping Lotor's shoulder to let her down. 

"It's okay, 'Lura." Lance waves her off. "We were just chilling." 

"In the 'make-out cavern'?" Keith chokes on the air around him, and it doesn't go unnoticed by the other three people in the small cavern under the waterfall. 

Lance didn't really take him to a place called that… Holy shit, he can feel the heat on his cheeks. Keith has never been here, so there is no way he could have known this place had such a name. He bites his lip, and then remembers that Lance had kissed him. He may just combust. 

"Bros can hang out here, too," Lance argues, pouting in a way that Keith can't help but calm, softening at his stupid crush. 

"Right," Allura says, entirely unconvinced. Did Keith mention she is super smart? 'Cause she is, and she reads people weirdly well. 

There's a tense silence upon them as Allura and Lance have a stare off, both not backing down, until Lance's eye twitches and he folds. 

"Well, we're gonna go." He climbs back into the water and starts swimming, pouting at Allura and Lotor animatedly, bottom lips drastically jutted out, as he swims past them, with Allura just smiling smugly with her arms crossed. 

Keith just sits there and watches in silence before realising he's being awkward and makes his way into the water, too, avoiding eye contact with the couple as he passes. 

When Keith makes it up to the shore, Lance is already talking to Hunk and Ryan, who are discussing the annual summer party coming up as they cook some food on a barbecue. 

Lance looks over his shoulder to Keith, and Keith can't read Lance's expression before he's turning back and smiling at something Ryan says. 

Keith relaxes a little as James and the rest of the football team call him over and talk to him about the party Hunk and Ryan were discussing. He looks back to see Lance looking over his shoulder to him too, and it warms his chest, but they only wave and smile. They don't speak about the kiss. They don't speak about Allura and Lotor. They don't speak about anything that happened under the waterfall. 

That is, until the party at James house, a few weeks later.

——————————

July - Junior Year

James had invited Keith to the annual summer party when they were at the quarry, so Keith comes with Lance and Hunk, who Ryan had invited while they bonded over cooking grilled food that day, too.

As soon as the three boys walk through the door, the music is loud. Some sort of trap music Keith doesn't know. It surrounds all of his senses, too loud for him to think, until he's grown accustomed to it. There's a distinct smell of alcohol and some small whiff of weed, and his nose scrunches at the scent. It's not too bad to take, but he's never enjoyed the smell. The atmosphere of the party is fun and welcoming; he likes it. He's no stranger to parties, but now he has real friends with him, and he has a fizz in his body, adrenaline speeding up. 

They start walking further into the house, and there's too many people for Keith to keep track of. He wouldn't be surprised if he easily lost his friends in the swarms of dancing drunks. 

Again, he's not very tall, and his sense of direction is... below average. 

He thinks about losing Lance and Hunk, and his anti-social ass does not like the thought. He reaches for Lance's arm, and Lance looks down at him, a little shocked, before resting his hand over Keith's, pulling shy smiles from them both. 

But that soon ends when James is at their side, greeting them with a handful of red solo cups filled with alcohol and a large grin. Lance is the only one of the three that takes a drink, Keith not being into alcohol very much, and it making Hunk feel sick whenever he has it. 

James shrugs, taking a sip of his beer and throwing an arm over Keith's shoulder. "Glad you could come, man." He smiles a little crookedly and begins ushering Keith through the crowd of drunk teenagers and students, pulling him away from Lance.

"Glad to be here," Keith says, before he's turning to look over his shoulder for the tall boy he brought with him. "Hey, Lance." Lance is about to walk off in a different direction, looking bothered and bored already. His head is bowed and his unoccupied hand in his pocket. He looks up when Keith calls his name, like a dog hearing the word 'walk'. "Where you going?" 

Lance considers the question. Looking around the room as if coming up with an excuse, before he's settling his eyes back on Keith and James. He honestly looks constipated, and Keith frowns, but Lance cuts off Keith asking if he's okay with:

"Just gonna leave you with James. Looks like he wants some time with you." He shrugs, a small, tight smile on his lips. "It's fine, I'll be with Hunk." He jutts his thumb back towards his big friend, who already looks ready to eat something. 

Keith nods wordlessly, starting to walk ahead with James towards the living room, where most of the football team and cheerleaders are gathered together. 

It's not long before James introduces them all to him more officially than they had before, at the quarry. Keith relaxes a little, but still wishes he could hide with Hunk and Lance somewhere away from the people who gather the most attention. He's handed a drink - something that smells a lot stronger than the beer James had tried to hand him earlier, and he just swirls it around, not interested in drinking anything. 

It's further into the night when Keith catches sight of Lance and Hunk, and he feels a weight off of his shoulders. Before he can open his mouth to call them, he's cut off when Ryan, who is amongst the group of footballers, spots Hunk and immediately brightens, shouting across the room. 

"Hunk!" He walks away from the group and pulls the boy into an embrace as soon as he is close enough. They both smile happily as they hug, looking sickeningly smitten over one another, and Keith can't help feel warm at their displays of affection. He would love to be like that with Lance. 

Just as the thought enters his mind, Lance catches his eye, and they are stuck staring at one another from across the room, a small flush across both their cheeks. But Keith suspects Lance's is because of the alcohol.

Their staring is cut short when Allura's giggles fill the room. The music has settled to a lower volume song, so he isn't too surprised to hear easier. He also hears other people laugh at whatever is going on. 

Keith looks over at the couple, and he realises that Allura is laughing all the way to snorts because Lotor has his arms around Allura's waist, nuzzling her neck as well as kissing her messily and jokingly. Her nose, forehead, cheeks and lips as he tickles her. Keith thought Hunk and Ryan were couply, these two are a new type of sickeningly sweet. 

What Keith doesn't see is Lance, turning away from the sight of Allura and Lotor to look at Keith, quietly hoping to catch Keith's eye again. To maybe get the courage to finally tell Keith how he feels. To kiss him again, like he has wanted to even more since he kissed him at the quarry. 

But James has his arm over Keith's shoulder, leaning into his space. And he doesn't look to be bothered. Doesn't lean away. Sure, he doesn't lean in the way Lance knows he does with him, but it still bothers him. Maybe the quarry didn't mean as much to Keith as it did to Lance. But he guesses that's his own fault. Hiding his intent behind a stupid bet. 

The brunet scuffs his shoes in the wooden floor, hands in his pocket, frowning. He hates feeling jealous. It's childish. Honestly, he's happy if Keith is happy, but it's going to take a while for him to fully get over it. Being happy for his best friend doesn't mean it sucks any less. 

When Keith turns back to look at Lance, he sees Lance's sullen mood and his brows furrow. He looks back to Allura and Lotor before turning back to Lance, and he frowns. He may have feelings for the boy, but that just means it's up to him to bring him up. He's familiar with unrequited feelings, even if they are for Lance, who likes Allura. But he's his friend before his crush. 

He pulls away from James and walks over to the taller boy, handing him the solo cup full of the whisky and Coke he didn't drink after it was handed to him by one of the footballers earlier. 

Lance takes it without even seeing who handed it to him, looking up only as he holds it to his lips. When blue eyes meet grey, he stalls, staring for a moment before tilting his head back and finishing the drink. 

He draws out an _ahh_ as he smiles wide. "I'm getting drunk tonight," Lance cheers, walking away to refill his cup, Keith following behind him.

——————————

**Now**

Keith doesn't know how he never noticed Blue in the driveway until now. It's honestly crazy, since she's such a big truck. But he guesses it's because he mainly just uses the back door that leads to the beach, and she only got here from San-Francisco a few days ago. 

It's weird seeing the truck again. Lance loved her since he got her for his sixteenth birthday, and he dubbed her Blue. He took her everywhere, and Hunk, Keith and Lance had multiple memories inside of her. But it's certain memories that make him fidget as he sits in the passenger seat. 

Memories such as the first party they went to together. Or the many things that happened after they officially got together. 

But he chooses to focus on the other things. Like the many stickers that cover the interior, all collected from different items Lance had bought in the past. There's also his colourful flower leis, and his small pride flag hanging around the mirror. 

Where the leather on the wheel is slightly worn down, wrinkled with age. And the small creak that happens every time he moves in the seat in a specific way. Or the end of a ballpoint pen which Hunk had crafted to fit into the door lock, as the three boys broke it when trying to get back in Lance's car after locking themselves out of it on one of their nighttime trips. 

The car has so many memories, and they make him happy. When times were simple, and the only things they all worried about was passing their exams and figuring out what toppings they wanted on their pizza. He smiles to himself before Lance is making his way into the driver's seat.

—————————–—

**Then**

July - Junior Year

Lance may have drank a _little_ too much. 

Keith didn't try, but he _may_ have gone overboard when supplying Lance them drinks. He just didn't like Lance looking so forlorn. And it _did_ work.

As Lance and Keith make their way to Lance's blue pick-up truck, Lance leans heavily on Keith's shoulder, giggling and tripping over his own feet. Keith internally thanks himself for not getting drunk or he wouldn't be able to get Lance home without pulling Hunk away from Ryan, and he doesn't want to do that. 

He seats Lance in the passenger seat before climbing into the drivers side and starting the truck. Lance is all smiles and laughs as Keith drives, especially when he turns on the radio and the _Mamma Mia_ soundtrack starts playing. He groggily sings along, drawing out the words longer than they are sung, or mumbling some of the words. Keith finds everything Lance does as endearing. He's really in deep for this boy. 

Lance starts mumbling stuff that Keith _knows_ isn't the lyrics, as Lance has burned them into Keith's brain through his constant singing of the songs. Keith thinks he hears Lance mention Allura, and he remembers how Lance looked as Allura and Lotor had kissed. This seems like the perfect time to ask the question that's been on his mind a lot lately. 

"So," he starts, trying to find the way to bring it up, but he guesses the blunt approach will work best in this situation. "how long have you liked Allura?" 

"What?" Lance interrupts his own rambling when Keith asks the question. "I don't like Allura," He laughs incredulously. "Like, I love her. She's my best friend, and she's totally gorgeous, but _no_." 

Keith is honestly surprised. He's sure Lance likes Allura. Maybe he's embarrassed, but he feels that Lance would just come out and tell him if he had just guessed it. It's just that Lance always looks down when he sees Lotor and Allura, and seems brighter when Allura hangs out with the group. His brightness will stay even when it was just Lance and Keith alone. He didn't understand. If it wasn't Allura, then… 

"Oh, my God." Keith says, the realisation hitting him like a rock. Lance is bisexual, so he could easily like a boy. And the only boy Keith could think of was, "Lotor."

Lance scoffs. "Not my type." He waves it off as if the mere thought is insane. "He's too preppy."

" _You're_ preppy," Keith deadpans, still driving the car through the dark road. 

" _Exactly_." Lance shrugs, smirking as he winks at Keith. "We're too similar." Keith laughs as he carries on driving. He drops the subject for a while as he drives, but it still doesn't leave his mind. 

He just doesn't understand. Lance looked upset. Keith can read Lance, and he looked jealous as Allura kissed Lotor. Like imagining the person he felt for kissing him. But it not being Lotor or Allura just confuses him, because he honestly can't wrap his head around it. 

Keith can be good at strategy and figuring out the tune to a song, and his grades are average, but he's not the best when it comes to puzzles. His many years in love with conspiracy theories still haven't rewarded him with that skill. 

"But when they kissed, you looked upset." Keith opens up the subject again, still not satisfied. He knows it's nosey, but he can't bring himself to care.

"That's not the reason I was sad," Lance huffs and crosses his arms. He closes off after that, head on the glass of the window looking out at the dark, passing scenery. Keith doesn't like Lance being sad. Getting Lance drunk was meant to prevent that. Keith pulls over the car, unbuckling his and Lance's seatbelts in a message of 'we're not leaving until we talk'. He faces Lance, who is turned away, waiting for his friend to open up to him about what's affecting him. 

It takes a little while, but Lance eventually loosens his closed off-ness and turns more to Keith. Lance is frustrated and pouting at Keith, biting his lip before he blurts out: 

"It was _you_ , okay!" Lance throws his hands out in defeat, before covering his eyes as he words start falling out. Keith just stares, not fully taking it in, and this seems to rile Lance up. "Dude, I _kissed_ you. I _asked_ to kiss you, and you think I like _someone else?_ That's honestly an insult…" The message Lance is intending slowly starts to register in Keith's mind and Keith's eyes widen as the tanned boy continues to ramble. "I was jealous of _James_. I wanted to be the one to talk to you. I wanted to be the one all over you. To— to—" The drunk boy looks like the words are messing with his head, and it could be because of the alcohol. 

But Keith pushes, finally starting to realise what is going on. "To _what_ , Lance?" He asks, imperative. 

That just makes Lance even more frustrated and next thing Keith knows, Lance's lips are on his, and his jacket is in a vise-grip in Lance's closed fists. It only takes a second before Keith is kissing back, just as much vigor and want. _Need_. It's messy, and Lance's breath smells and tastes of whisky, but Keith relishes in it's slight burn. Here, he decides, it's his favourite taste. 

"I like you, you idiot," Lance drunkenly confesses into the kiss, and Keith's heart could fall right out of his chest. He's smiling, and Lance is, too. 

"I like you, too," Keith breathes as their lips part for a second. It's not long into kissing Lance again that Keith pulls back, holding Lance at shoulder length. " _Wait_. You were jealous of James?" He asks, and Lance stares at Keith for a while, catching up with the question. But then Lance understands, and nods slowly. " _Why_?" 

"You just… You seemed into him. You got his number and everything." Lance shrugs before throwing his arms out exaggeratedly. 

Keith chuckles slightly, reaching to intertwine his fingers with Lance's. "No. I've pretty much only thought about you since Halloween. Before that even." He rolls his eyes, sighing. "It's honestly been _very_ annoying." He leans in and kisses Lance's cheek softly. "You never have to be jealous of James. Or anyone."

Lance squeezes Keith's hand as he bites his lip, trying to hold back the goofy grin threatening to spread across his face at Keith's rambling about his feelings for him. 

"Good," Lance says, before climbing into Keith's lap and pressing their lips together again. 

———————————

**Now**

As Lance starts the car, he also turns on the radio, and the Mamma Mia song ' _Fernando_ ' starts playing on full volume. Lance switches it off straight away, his cheeks darkening. He looks mortified as he face palms, and Keith can't hold in his laughter. Lance looks through his fingers as Keith laughs, an awkward smile on Lance's lips. It isn't long before Lance is laughing, too. 

When they've calmed to more controlled chuckles, Lance finally starts driving and Keith sits comfortably in his seat. 

"Crazy to think that when we listened to this when we were younger, there was only one film," Keith says into the comfortable silence apart from Cher and Andy Garcia. Things really do change in a matter of five years, but Keith guesses Lance's love for the film and it's music isn't one of them. 

"I know right! I simp over _both_ young Donna and Sam." Lance holds out his hand as if he's displaying a title in front of him, and Keith smiles at the taller boy's ability to dramatise everything he does. 

"Well, what about Fernando?" Keith asks, gesturing his head to the song that's still playing. Lance huffs, holding a hand to his chest in mock-offence. 

"Fernando is my _husband_. I _can't_ simp over him."

Keith laughs, shaking his head as the song ends and 'Mamma Mia' starts. Lance's grin doubles at the realisation that his favourite one of the Mamma Mia songs is about to play, and Keith can't help but mirror that smile. The taller of the two starts to tap his fingers on the steering wheel at the piano intro, humming to the beginning lyrics. 

Keith finds himself bobbing his head and humming to Lance's singing. It's nice to be like this again. It was only a few days before their breakup that they were having their own little concerts in these exact seats. 

There was never a problem with Lance and Keith's relationship. Sure, their year long relationship had some of the most minor bumps. Never anything bad. They were kids, after all. It's what comes with being so competitive with each other. Keith and Lance were best friends before they were boyfriends, their chemistry just _worked_. The relationship may have ended, but Keith is almost positive he would still be with Lance if _that_ hadn't happened. 

Keith sings as he thinks about the past. Both him and Lance going all out as they sing with Lily James. 

It's fun. 

It's easy. 

It feels natural, and Keith feels the music slowly helping his block. He knows there is still very far to go to get rid of the block completely, but he's getting there, so he is beaming as he and Lance sing the last lyrics. 

_~I should not have let you go~_

They both sing in unison, turning to each other sharply and animatedly. But as they beam at each other, catching their breath, the realisation of the song's lyrics registers in Keith's head, and he can see how it does in Lance's, too. Their smiles falter and they sit back in their seats, Lance concentrating on the road and Keith looking out the passenger window. He watches the streets wizz past and he feels the heat on his cheeks that has become way too familiar being around Lance again. 

They make it to the market and get out of the car. They're both stiff, but then Lance is smiling, directing Keith to follow him to the shops, and Keith's erratic heartbeat settles. 

——————————

They both lug through the door, bags of shopping in their hands. They're both too lazy to make two trips, and the bags are honestly not too heavy. Well, for Keith they aren't. 

"Keith, buddy, my man," Lance struggles out as he carries the heavy bags of shopping through the front door. "Put your weirdly big muscles to use, would ya?" 

Keith turns around to look at Lance, his face pleading and his legs looking as if they could give out under him. Maybe they should have not bought so many heavy groceries. Lance stands there expectantly, so of course Keith reacts in the only way he should. 

He smirks, turning back around and walking into the kitchen section of the open-space main-room with ease. Them five years allowed Keith to build up his body. He is no longer the small, skinny, emo boy that he used to be.

He ignores the indignant squawk Lance let's out from behind and sets the bags on to the dark granite countertop next to the vase of juniberries — His mother's favourite flowers. 

He's always liked this kitchen. It's a square, open space. It's dark tiled floor is elevated slightly from the rest of the main room. Oak counters with dark tops line one of the walls, and the sinks counter area acts as a half-wall to separate it from the living room. He remembers when his mother would watch him play the piano from the place in front of the sink, smiling happily and singing along. How the large bay-window would allow the sun to shine brightly through and catch on her dark hair. 

He looks over to the piano, sitting untouched after so long. It's lid is shut, hiding the keys from his sight. His chest tightens at the thought of using it—

Lance finally drops the other bags next to Keith, bringing him out of his small daze. He shakes his head, getting to emptying the bags. 

"You're cruel," Lance huffs out. 

Keith laughs, tightness of his chest making it a little strained. "How are you so weak?" 

Lance gapes, incredulous, and starts emptying his bags passive aggressively. "For your information, I spent my time studying the stars, not getting all buff. I may be…" he looks Keith up and down, looking for the words. " _Smaller_ than you, but my mind is strong." He points his index finger to his head, a proud smile on his lips. 

"You're just jealous because _I_ don't have noodle arms." He opens the fridge, the door hiding his face as he packs it with food. When he comes back out from behind the door, he smiles cunningly at the taller boy. "Unlike some."

Lance let's out a _humph_ , narrowing his eyes at Keith playfully. "I'm just going to ignore your bullying. Come one, let's get to work on the food."

"What are we making again? I just got the ingredients you said and didn't question it."

"Pollo a la Plancha." Keith just looks at Lance, searching for an explanation. "Don't worry, you've had it many times at my house," Lance elaborates as he sets out the ingredients, handing Keith an onion —because God forbid they let Keith go near any food that could harm them if it's not cooked properly — after he's washed his hands and pulled back his dark hair with a headband. 

It pulls a smile from Keith, and he starts cutting the onions slowly, fully intent on helping with the cooking and not just making Lance do everything. 

He was too dependant on the people close to him in them five years. He needs to grow. Dependency is one of Keith's least favourite things. He can never spend too long burdening someone… But this is proving harder than Keith had originally guessed. He furrows his brow in concentration and sets his face into a scowl, trying to cut the onion in the right way, as he also tries not to cry while he's at it. 

His bangs sometimes _feel the need_ to come loose from the headband Lance has borrowed him, and that just makes him look like an angry idiot when he tries blowing the strands out of his face. 

Lance chuckles, and Keith's scowl falters. "Do you have a strain there?" 

Keith looks up from the onion, what's left of his scowl still in place. "Where?" 

Lance pushes his pointer finger between Keith's furrowed brows, softening it. "Right here. You always pull them together." Instead of pulling his hand away, Lance holds Keith's jaw in his hand, rubbing a thumb over his cheek. "You did it when we were younger, too." He says, far more soft than Keith has felt from Lance in a very long time. He finally decides to pull his hand away, which has Keith thankful, because it helps his heart rate decrease back to normal, but also has him having to hold back a whine at the loss. 

Instead, he focuses on Lance's words, scowling again— which is honestly more of a pout — and his eyebrows knit together again. "I don't."

"You're doing it right now!" Lance argues, beaming victoriously. It has Keith raising his eyebrows an absurd amount, trying to get rid of the evidence, but that just results in Lance having to cover his mouth to hide his laughter. 

Keith narrows his eyes. "Whatever." He huffs and turns away, going back to cutting the onion, and probably trying too hard to not furrow his brows. 

But when Lance giggles and goes back to preparing the chicken, Keith can't help but smile slightly. He doesn't know why, but hearing Lance laugh like that makes his nerves simmer down. Even if his eyes do burn from the cursed food. Keeping a less strained face after that is much easier. 

———————————

**Then**

July - Junior Year 

Once Keith and Lance had actually finished kissing, they made their way to Keith's house, all bright smiles and messy hair. They stole glances at one another throughout the ride, and Keith had to force himself to not pull over again. 

When they finally made it to Keith's — as Lance knew he couldn't turn up at his mother's house drunk as hell, with Keith gladly texting Lance's mother on Lance's phone about him staying the night — they stumbled through the door. Keith had realised how drunk Lance actually was, and he worried that when Lance woke up, he wouldn't remember confessing, or worse: regret it. 

So when Lance tried to come onto Keith again, Keith stopped him. He couldn't have Lance hate him. He took the sofa, and gave his bed to Lance. He was lucky the drunk boy slept so easily.

But now, it's morning, and Keith is standing at his stove, attempting (and failing terrible) to make eggs and bacon. He's just never been good in the kitchen, just like all the boys in his family. It is only Krolia, and Adam when he comes over, that can cook a decent meal. 

He goes through multiple scenarios in his head. The best he can think of is somewhere in there, but clouded over by all the possible worst-cases. He moves his weight from foot to foot, worrying his lip as he carries on with the food. 

Lance walks in, and Keith feels like all his hairs stand on end. Like he can't control his emotions around this boy. Keith sends Lance a small, sheepish smile, and Lance returns it. 

There's an uncomfortable silence, and this hasn't happened since Lance accidentally broke Keith's nose. Their lack of talking after their first kiss wasn't awkward. It had a tension, but it was more of a crackling fire, building up until it was out of control. But now, it feels like someone has doused it with water, and it's left fragile. But he guesses that fragile line has to be crossed, and Lance is the one to take the first step. 

"I just wanted to talk about last night." Lance half-hugs himself, like it can hide himself. Keith winces. He looks uncomfortable. That can't be good. Keith prepares for Lance to reject him with this conversation. 

“Listen, if you don’t feel the same—"

"Wait, what?" Lance looks up, sheepishness seeming to evaporate at Keith's words. 

"If you don't like-like me, I'm totally okay—" Keith's words die off in his throat as Lance shakes his head, smiling. He puts his hands either side of Keith and moves in close, breath ghosting against his lips. His smile is coy, and it sends a heat all over Keith's body. 

"Just kiss me already." 

That's enough to make Keith kiss Lance. He backs Lance up against the kitchen island and Lance jumps up, holding Keith between his legs as they kiss. Keith's hands, cold despite just cooking, find their way up Lance's jumper and he shivers as he laughs. Keith slides his hands around Lance's thigh, moving higher and higher—

—And that's when Shiro decides it's the appropriate time to walk into the house with Adam by his side. 

All of them freeze, embarrassed at the scene they have either been caught in or walked in on. Keith stiffly pulls away from Lance, and Adam coughs awkwardly. 

Keith won't look at his brother and his boyfriend, but he knows for sure that Shiro's face is most likely puffed from trying to hold in his laughter, and Adam had most likely put his fist in front of his mouth to hide his ever-growing smile. Keith soothes the creases in his clothes, hoping his brother just leaves, and thankfully, he does. 

The older brother catches Keith's eye as he's going up the stairs, and Keith knows that Shiro is going to question him sooner or later, and probably will torture Keith with this moment for the rest of his life. 

Once Shiro and Adam are upstairs and the two boys hear the door close, Lance speaks up from his perch on the counter. "So…" He starts, seeming sheepish before he's taking a deep breath as he closes his eyes. He holds his palms together like a prayer, but then Keith actually thinks it's a meditation movement, and he has to hold in a chuckle. "Okay, I have to do this like a gentleman or mama will kill me." He takes another deep breath, and smiles down at Keith, who can't wipe his smile off of his face as he is now back to standing comfortably between Lance's legs. "Keith, would you like to be my boyfriend?" 

Keith smirks, the shy boy he was finally disappearing. " _Boyfriend, huh?_ " He leans closer to Lance, words rolling off his tongue. Keith can flirt. He knows he can. But there was something about this whole situation with Lance that had him so anxious and it made him lose all of his composure. But now that he knows Lance likes him, and wants to be with him, it's like he's come back from a holiday. 

"Yeah?" Lance mumbles, the usual Lance McClain bravado faltering in a way Keith now recognises always happens whenever Keith tries to flirt with him. His chest warms at the realisation. 

"Yeah, I think I could be okay with that," He teases, his thumb making circular movements along Lance's legs. 

Lance seems to relax, and both their faces redden at the realisation of their new relationship status. Keith keeps stroking Lance's leg, and the boy practically melts, placing his hand over Keith's. They're both stupidly giddy, and then Lance _has_ to opens his big mouth… 

"So I guess you _are_ interested in me?" He asks, raising a brow cockily, referring to the question he asked Keith when Keith realised he was bisexual. There's the Lance Keith was very familiar with, but never so directly. 

Keith groans jokingly, head tilting back. "I take back my answer. Bye." Keith moves from between Lance's legs, waving him away before Lance grabs his hand, chuckling. 

"No, wait!" He jumps off the counter and hugs Keith tightly, and Keith smiles at him. Lance pecks him on the lips before practically singing his next words. "I'm interested in you, too. So we're even."

Keith laughs, hugging his arms loosely around Lance's waist as he moves to kiss Lance back. "You're such a fucking dork," he smiles before letting their lips meet. But Lance breaks the kiss after a while, sniffing around animatedly before asking: 

"Do you smell burning?" 

Keith's eyes widen at the realisation. "Shit!" he curses as he runs to the stove and turns it off, catching sight of the now black eggs and very overly done bacon. As Keith scrapes the cremated food into the bin, frowning, Lance is laughing at his _boyfriend_.

Keith is right about his older brother's incoming teasing, especially as Shiro and Adam don't let neither Lance nor Keith forget about it for another week. But Lance and Keith are too happy to pay it much mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dumping all my favourite tropes into this fic, so of course it's gonna have "singing in the car and then only just realising the lyrics connect with your situation" happen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) seriously tho, I just see Lance as a huge ABBA fan, and then I chose Mamma Mia cause I was watching it and then I heard the lyrics and I was like… Wut? Why does this fit so well??? 
> 
> I kinda foreshadowed one of the big plot points in this chapter and I'm kinda proud. I wonder if anyone would be able to spot it? I'd say it's quite subtle, but also not :) 
> 
> Hunk and Ryan? Completely didn't plan it. But I really liked it as I added it.
> 
> I actually got worried about giving past-Lance a car because I remembered that he's 16, but I realised that you can drive in America at 16, and not 17 like here in the UK lmao. 
> 
> I can't wait to carry on with this story. Finally got this chapter out of the way! Can't wait for the next update! 
> 
> And thank you everyone for the support!
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Li6ByFTwMiqG1dc9vf8nB?si=dQJAlkrvRweHm4jrIi0Gng)
> 
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/tea_addict264?r=name)


	4. A Sky Full Of Stars - Coldplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories and feelings Keith thought to have locked away years ago are resurfaced as he spends a late night with Lance under the stars, while their past selves move further in their new relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally figured out how to add the [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Li6ByFTwMiqG1dc9vf8nB?si=dQJAlkrvRweHm4jrIi0Gng) to the author notes! Finallyyyyy. It has all the songs I use (I hope) It always gives me feels and I listen to it like 24/7. 
> 
> Trying to figure out how to add the link was super hard cause I'm dumb Zz(￣。￣ノ)
> 
> Anyway! This chapter is kinda short? (I say that but it's like 7000 words) but it's important! Get ready for some good ol' gay shit right here uwu!

_~’Cause you’re a sky, ‘cause you’re a sky full of stars_

_I’m gonna give you my heart_

_‘Cause you’re a sky, ‘cause you’re a sky full of stars_

_‘Cause you light up the path~_

-Coldplay-

**Now**

Keith is sitting on the beach again tonight. Going out at night and working on his music has developed into some kind of a routine. Sometimes it proves effective, like on the days he spends a lot of time at the beach, or in Varadero in general. When he has Lance close by his side. But sometimes the block is still too strong for anything to work. 

Tonight seems to be the latter.

Over the last week and a half he's kept on coming outside, sitting in the sand and working on the music piece he had started when he had first stepped out into the nighttime air and whistled along with the wind. He's developed it a little, and he's currently playing it to try get a feel for the sound of the next verse. But it doesn't seem to be working all that much. 

He plucks another string, but it's _wrong_ and he sighs, deciding to take a break. 

Placing the guitar next to him, he digs his bare feet into the now-cold sand and watches as the moon reflects on the sea, glistening as the waves move.

He leans back on his arms, tilting his head up to watch the stars as they freckle the night sky. But they're dull. Night-time lights of the sky are never as bright in one of the most popular holiday destinations, where light pollution thrives. He huffs, scrunching his nose at the sight. 

Keith turns back to the beach house, juniberries buried in the windowsill plant pots, and then the tall hotel buildings in the near distance, shining into the night. He looks up at the stars, before he's grabbing his notebook and pen, scribbling a few lines messily just to jot down the initial idea. He tries a specific line, but can't seem to make it work the first few times, until he settles with a line he likes. 

~~Hope that you would be here with me~~

~~You'll always be with me~~

_As long as I'm here as I am, so are you_

Thoughts of his mother fill his mind. Of her purple dyed hair that she always wore in her signature low pony; her smile, laugh, voice — singing to a young Keith. 

"I miss you, mom," Keith says into the night. "I miss you and dad so much. I'm sorry for all that you've had to see me go through the past few years." His whole body slumps with the sigh he lets out, mumbling an almost inaudible, "I was a mess."

All the major mistakes Keith had made in them five years pass through his mind like an old movie tape playing through a projector: Damaged and bleak. Grey areas. Scratched up. Like it's been left too long in the sun and began to crack, flake and warp. Because that's what the five years were like for Keith. A lower quality version of life. Static in a television. Like a low resolution camera held in someone's hand and not propped on a tripod. 

Well, he has to give himself some credit. It was more like three years that he was bad. That he spent as a different person, caught up in a dangerous addiction. 

He's been better since two years ago. But the event that finally brought him on the path of recovery was way too big of a sacrifice. How he kept refusing therapy before that; the countless one night stands, _James_ ; walking away from the Garrison that day; dropping-out of Marmora; the mirror; the hospital. If he had done the right thing in all of them situations, things would be different. _Better_. 

He could be like Shiro and Adam. Happy, in love and thriving. 

_He could be with Lance…_

When that thought enters Keith's mind, he slaps the notebook shut, picks up his guitar and goes back inside. 

He feels the small prickle of heat on his cheeks and bites his lip. He won't listen to that voice in his head. Can't listen. No matter how many times it may try and tell him that trying to get his heart to close Lance off is futile. That it could never close for him, and never had. 

He doesn't listen. _Refuses_ to. 

When he steps into the main room and closes the glass door, he notices Lance coming out of his room, dressed up in a blue polo shirt, jeans and a pair of Vans. He tilts his head and Lance's face softens when he catches sight of Keith. 

"What you doing up?" Lance asks, smiling lightly.

"Could ask you the same thing."

"Trouble sleeping." He runs his fingers through the short tuff of hair on the front of his head and jutts a finger in the direction of the front door. "Just felt like getting a drink from a nearby place."

Keith nods, still holding his guitar and notebook tightly in his hands. Lance hasn't seen or heard him play his music yet. He doesn't know what he'd let out if he saw Lance as he sang. His feelings find a way of setting free when he plays. 

A silence settles upon them, neither moving from their places. Both avert their gaze to the floor, until they're meeting each other's eyes, and Keith has to grip his instrument harder to calm down the tightening of his chest. 

When Keith goes to say goodbye, Lance speaks up instead, cutting him off. "Would you like to come with me?" Keith snaps his mouth shut. 

He thinks about whether he should or not. His music isn't particularly working, so he would just be trying to sleep again, and probably failing. He could use this as a way to prove to his heart that Lance is no more than _just a friend_. That he can be _just friends_ with him. Because if he thought of him as more, let out the small truth he still hasn't acknowledged, everything would change. Not to mention, it would be cruel to Lance. He didn't deserve Keith's stupid messed up feelings. 

So yeah, he could do this and put any chance that he loves Lance to rest. 

"Sure," He says. "Could I change first?" He asks, gesturing to his plain-red pyjama trousers and loose black t-shirt. He holds his hands close to his chest, hiding them while they're ungloved. 

"Take your time."

When he steps back out, leather gloves and a change of clothes on, he smiles at Lance in a way of saying let's go. They make their way out and down the streets. It's late, but as they get further into Varadero, it grows much more alive; countless hotels and restaurants shining bright in the night time, street lamps guiding Keith and Lance's path to the bar Lance had mentioned. 

Keith still can't get over how Lance knows the place better than him. Keith used to come here with his parents all the time. But half a decade can mess up your knowledge on a place, especially if you're Keith. And Lance used to live around these very parts, so it isn't too surprising. But still, he feels silly depending on Lance to guide him around. 

The bar Lance brings them to is a hole in the wall kind of place. It's cozy. That's Keith's first impression. Warm lights strung up by copper chains, exposed brick and spaced out tables. A lot of colourful plants that just add character. It's what Keith would imagine a coffee shop to be like, never imagining a bar to look like this. But it has a specific vibe that makes it sophisticated and modern; that Keith can't help but let his lips curve into an easy smile about. 

When Lance takes a seat at the bar, Keith isn't surprised what so ever at Lance's order of a piña colada. Sweet and fruity, just like everything Lance is and has. Keith doesn't know how he's so skinny with the sweet tooth he has. He scoffs, and Lance pulls his tongue out before sipping from his straw and dancing in his seat, humming in contemptment. Keith orders his usual whiskey and Coke, relishing in the burn as it slides down his throat. 

"So," Lance starts, mixing his drink with the straw. "you had your guitar earlier." He opens the elephant in the room, and Keith looks away on instinct at the mention of something personal. Confrontational. When Keith doesn't take the bait, Lance asks, "You still doing music?" 

Keith can't help but frown a little at the question. How unknowing Lance is of the five years they were apart. It really let's it settle in that Lance really wasn't there. But Keith feels a push in his chest, and decides to be honest, taking another swig of his drink before answering. 

"Actually," He taps his glass with his index finger. "I've only started playing — _trying to play_ — since two weeks before coming here." He tightens his grip around the glass, condensation wetting his hand. "After the… The accident… I couldn't play anymore." Lance hums, and Keith can tell it's sad. "The time we spent apart. It— It was hard on me. I went through a lot."

"Yeah, I know." Lance sighs, and he sounds defeated. Keith looks side-along at Lance and catches his eyes lifting from Keith's lap. Was Lance… Staring at Keith's legs? Did Lance…? 

"What do you mean _'I know_ '—?" Keith accuses, nerves spiking at the possibility of Lance knowing anything about what had happened two years ago. 

He couldn't. There's no way that Lance could actually know. Keith is positive Shiro and Adam would never tell _anyone_ , even if they had Keith's permission. It's the type of subject you don't bring up unless a person is entirely in need of knowing. Lance isn't one of them people.

So why did it seem like Lance knew? 

"I meant I _understand_. I understand," Lance repeats, arms held up defensively as he worries his lip. What was Lance not telling him? What could Lance—? "Anyway. I think it's good," Lance interrupts Keith's thoughts. "That you started playing again. I loved when you played."

Keith stares at him calculatingly, trying to solve the puzzle of what Lance isn't saying. But as Lance meets his eyes, and the blue in them looks like the blue from that day at the hospital, he deflates, accusations dying on his tongue at the change in subject. He is still confused. Curious. Definitely suspicious. But he welcomes the change, not yet comfortable enough to confront what Lance may actually know. But, could Lance really know what Keith's hiding? If so, why does he still treat him the same? He takes the last swig of his drink, calling on the bartender for another. 

They stay there for about an hour after that, drinking and ordering a share-bowl of nachos. The tension is gone within a few minutes. Especially as Lance wipes some cheese on Keith's nose, making him go cross eyed as he tries to look at it. Their awkwardness is gone, but the topic is still on Keith's mind. By three am, they're both pretty buzzed from their drinks, and decide it's time to leave. 

Walking back to the beach house is a lot more fun and airy than the walk to the bar, where a thin tension laid between the two boys. Unspoken things about their lack of sleep. But now, with the help of a few glasses of alcohol, it's like they're back in high school. Lance steps from slab to slab on the pavement, dancing slightly every time he lands. He drags Keith into it, too, and he happily joins in, albeit stiffly due to his lack of agility. 

When Keith holds Lance's hand in the air, spinning him under the light from a streetlamp, the light flickers. They pause, looking up as Keith's hands comfortably rest on Lance's waist, and Lance's on Keith's shoulders. 

The light flickers again, and so do the ones around them, until they all go out. Followed by the nearby house lights coming off, and then the hotels. 

It's a darkness Keith has never seen before. He can see Lance, but he can't see much further, surrounded by a sea of shadows. He tries to make out any source of light, but it's futile. Except, when he looks up, he gasps, and that causes Lance to follow his gaze. 

The sky is a black velvet. Everything above them seems bigger and brighter. It's cloudless and freckled with miles and miles of bright, shining stars. There are lighter patches, clusters of faint and bold light that Keith knows is the galaxy, and he can pin-point the June constellations scattered across the sky. It's amazing. Breathtaking. _Beautiful_. 

He feels the ache in his cheeks before he knows he's smiling. He turns to look at Lance, and his smile falters, turning close lipped. Because the sight he's met with is far more powerful than the one above. 

Lance grins from ear to ear, and Keith is sure his smile was no match to Lance's. Blue irises reflecting the speckle of stars, practically glowing. Keith feels his heartbeat accelerate, and a small dust of heat covers his body. He's stunning, and Keith can't help but stare. 

Next thing he knows, Lance is grabbing Keith's wrist and pulling him with him. As Lance's pace increases, so does Keith's, and soon, they're running to the nearest beach, and Lance is pulling him down to sit in the sand. 

"It's amazing, isn't it!" Lance laughs, giddy with childlike joy at the sight of the stars. He stretches his legs in front of him before falling backwards and looking up at them again. As the tanned boy lays there, arms supporting his head, he taps the sand next to him, so Keith lays down, too, hands resting on his chest and one leg above the other. 

"Yeah…" Keith breathes once he's comfortable in the sand. He's taken aback by the sight of Lance. _And the stars_. Definitely more the stars… _Definitely_.

Lance points and gestures widely with his hands, explaining the stars with a knowledge he never had about them back when they were younger. It's strange, but endearing, to know that he's worked on knowing the stars. 

"You know what I've been doing lately," Keith says into the night. "what about you? What do you do for work? How was school?" 

Lance sighs, but it sounds airy and light. Happy and proud. "I work in a museum. I do those star dome presentations. It's not permanent, just as I work my way to becoming an astronomy teacher at the Garrison." His smile only grows as he talks, innocent and comfortable. "School was the best." Keith's happy that Lance was happy. "it was hard to begin with. The classes, new surroundings… Not having you." He finishes it off as a mere mumble, but Keith catches it, and he can't help the guilt that builds up in the pit of his gut. "But you were in no state to go to school. I didn't blame you at all."

That's what makes Lance so frustrating. He's so forgiving and flexible. Keith can tell that him leaving affected Lance. That he was angry, upset, hurt. But he plays it off like what Keith did was nothing? If Keith was being unkind, he'd call Lance a push over. He allows people to walk all over him, and then finds a way to have them not at fault. 

He can't allow that. He doesn't like it. Lance has always been like this, but it seems a little worse than back in high school. Who brought Lance down like this? Didn't respect him the way he deserved. 

His mind goes back to that day at the Garrison. Blonde hair and small, girly figure. Porcelain arms wrapped lovingly around a caramel, tanned neck. Was it her? Was she the reason? 

He repositions himself to lean on his side, elbow supporting his head as he looks down to Lance. He can tell the boy is overthinking. He's always been able to read Lance like an open book. 

"It's my fault everything happened the way it did. I could have been stronger." Lance looks up at Keith, and Keith softens. All he wants to do is reassure Lance. He opens his mouth to say the three words. Words that carry so much weight. But he closes his mouth. 

Too fast, it seems, as he ends up biting his tongue in the process. " _Shit_ ," Keith hisses. He tastes blood, and grimaces at the thought. 

"Oh, my God, Keith. Are you okay?" Lance asks, sitting up to check on him, but ends up headbutting him in the process. " _Fuck!_ " 

They both rub their foreheads, looking at one another sheepishly before they're laughing into the night. Full and manic. They end up leaning on each other for support, trying to calm down. 

Once they're no longer laughing like maniacs and their breathing has returned to normal, they sit on the sand, propped up with their arms held behind them. 

Keith realises what he was going to say, but barely pays it any mind when he sees the flush of pink across Lance's face from the exertion of laughing. His messed up chestnut hair and his brilliant smile. He can't bring himself to regret the fleeting thought. It was only fleeting. Getting caught up in the moment. It doesn't mean anything. 

He watches as Lance looks back up to the glistening sky, and Keith can see the love he holds for it. Lance was always passionate about the stars. 

——————————

**Then**

August - Junior Year 

Lance and Keith have been together for about a month. 

Lance invites Keith over to his house. They're sitting on the roof of the first floor, a slab that juts out from Lance's bedroom window that he always loved to climb out onto. They're wrapped in a blanket, cuddled close for both comfort and warmth. Above them is the night sky, covered with stars. Keith nuzzles his nose in the crook of Lance's neck and Lance sighs into the touch. 

Most of California's towns have turned off their lights, so the stars are more visible. But it's not just for the stars. Tonight's special, and that's why Lance dragged him here. 

"It's starting!" Lance cheers, pointing out to the meteor, a slight green tint to it's trail. 

It's the Voltron Meteor Shower. They are meteors from an asteroid belt that holds a specific gas, colouring the trail of a stray meteor from the belt. That's the scientific explanation, anyway. There's many myths and theories surrounding them. 

From Santa to _Space Lions_ , there's a blog out there dedicated to all of it. While Keith is all for a theory, and loves the idea of actual space lions, he takes the scientific approach. 

The green tailed one is the start, like a domino affect. Next there's yellow, then blue, red, and a dark purple. They fall in different directions, pulling their colour along with them and painting the sky with it. 

When Keith hears Lance muttering in quick Spanish that he can't possibly hope to fully understand, he sees his boyfriend crossing his fingers and squinting his eyes. Right, the wish they need to make.

When Lance opens his eyes, wide and bright, smile blinding, Keith's heart flips. So when Lance asks if Keith made his wish, he nods, already knowing exactly what he wishes for. 

Keith wishes to see Lance this happy for so much longer. That he can love him for so much longer. 

He pulls Lance in and kisses him, slow and soft, heart full of so much adoration and smitten love for this boy. 

He realises the word he used in the back of his mind, but he can’t bring himself to take it back. 

——————————

**Now**

They have made their way off the sand and into the sea, shoes abandoned in the sand as they kick around and watch the stars more. They talk more about Lance's family and his hopes of making it to the Garrison. It lights something in Keith's chest at the thought of Lance being in the Garrison as Keith goes to Marmora. As they're mid-laugh, a shooting star goes past and they both watch it fly by. Keith looks at Lance, expecting him to do his special wish-thing. But when Keith sees him, Lance's smile has decreased a lot. 

"Are you going to make a wish?" Keith asks, eyes flicking between Lance and the sky. 

"Nah." Lance shakes his head, before grinning a low-spirited smile and shrugging his shoulders. "They're just burning rocks."

Lance's answer catches Keith off guard. He never thought he'd find Lance questioning the legitimacy behind wishing upon a shooting star. His eyebrows crease, regarding Lance worriedly. He just doesn't understand… 

"But… You always—" 

"I was a _child_ , Keith," Lance laughs bitterly. He turns to Keith, and the lines under his storm-blue eyes look a lot deeper than they had earlier. "Wishing on stars is for kids."

Keith doesn't like that. It doesn't sit right in his gut. His _chest_. Lance, the young-hearted goof that he knew five years ago, didn't believe in one of his most cherished traditions now? Lance used to take any opportunity to make wishes. Keith may be taking this out of proportion, but he just doesn't like it. 

He grabs Lance's hand and squeezes his eyes shut, head bowed and fingers of his free hand crossed. He can tell when Lance looks at him, curious to what's going on before he's realising what he's doing. Feels as if his eyes are burning into him. He hears the small sigh Lance let's out, before Keith feels Lance squeezing back, thumb rubbing over Keith's knuckles. 

He peeks one eye open, and sees Lance's eyes are closed as he looks to be concentrating in his wish. But his face also looks much more calm. _Happy_. It fills Keith with warmth, and he doesn't even feel the need to make a wish. Satisfied enough with pulling Lance out of whatever bad place he was in. 

Lance's eyes flutter open, and he turns to look back at the shorter boy. His eyes look to have a sheen of unshed tears, and Keith is taken aback. Did it really affect Lance that deeply? 

"Thanks."

"Don't even mention it." He's relieved that he didn't hurt Lance. But still, he's shocked that it affected Lance that way. What happened when they were apart? How could Keith forcing him to wish on a star cause him to almost cry? 

Keith gives Lance's hand one last reassuring squeeze and then they let's go. It's slow, and their fingers tangle together before they're pulling away. There's a tension between them. Thick as they look into each other's eyes. 

Lance coughs, sheepishly looking away to the water before an idea is coming across his mind. Keith can tell— He has this idiotic face he makes when he's about to do something stupid. Keith feels the cold before he realises Lance is splashing him with the sea water he kicks his way. It's cold and refreshing, but a shock to his system. Soaking through his shirt. 

Keith kicks some back, and Lance let's out something between a laugh and a scream before retaliating. That's the start of the war, both trying to one up the other on who can soak the others the most. It's fun. Their clothes are slowly getting more soaked through now and they're starting to resort to just using their hands to splash one another, laughing into the night. 

The water war ends when Keith kicks into the sea particularly hard. He knocks himself off-kilter and sends himself flying backward into the water, going completely under before he's coming back up in a fright of cold water covering his whole body. 

Lance is losing it, squatting into the water now, and getting the bottom of his shorts wet. It isn't long before Keith is joining in. It comes a lot easier than any feeling like this has in a long time. It's as refreshing as the water on his hot skin. But it dies off at the sight of the taller boy. At the sight of the red on his cheeks due to excursion, and the tears gathered in the corner of his eyes, still closed as he laughs. Dies off as Keith's heart flips. 

He feels like he's been hit by a freight-train with the realisation. The burning in his chest. And then Lance is looking up at Keith, and he feels his stomach drop, but heart flutter. 

Lance's eyes catch the stars, bright and brilliant like how the water reflects the moon. They're directed at Keith as he sits there, sopping wet. Lance's brunet hair is messed up from their splashing, some strands with water dripping from them, but some dry. His cheeks have a nice red tint to them as Keith stares, and all he wants to do is hold Lance's face between his hands. To caress his cheek with his thumb. His hands burn with the need, but he holds back. He has to ground himself, because he really needs to take a minute to accept what he's just realised. 

He loves Lance. This stupid, beautiful idiot. He loves him. Heck, did he ever stop? 

His heart is bruising his ribs from the inside out. He really loves Lance. He can't deny it. Can't lock it away. It's free. Like the floodgates have broken open, never to be shut again— Soaking everything in its path like the water that's seeping into his clothes. 

Lance seems to leave the trance of their staring first, shaking his head slightly before rising to his feet and reaching out his hand for Keith to take. Keith does, but not without a small tremble as his skin touches Lance's. 

"Better get in before we get sick," Lance says, trying to cut through the thick tension between them, pulling Keith along to exit the water. Keith nods wordlessly, unable to articulate a real sentence. Lance doesn't let go of Keith's hand as they tread through the cold water, and Keith doesn't let go either. 

The sea splashes over their ankles, and the air makes them shiver as it hits their wet clothes, clinging to their skin. 

They grab their shoes and socks, and end up walking a lot closer to one another on their way home; Shoulders bumping and shy smiles shared. 

Lance is quick to change his clothes, whining like an absolute child at being wet, when Keith is ten times more soaked. "I'm sensitive to the cold!" Lance offers as an excuse, and Keith crosses his arms and leans his weight on one leg, staring unconvinced. 

Let's just say, Lance is faster in changing as he so _urgently_ needs to warm up. 

"Hey, Keith," Lance starts, poking his head into the room to see Keith with his wet top, clinging to the top half of his body as he starts pulling it off. 

It only registers in Lance's mind that he's walked in on Keith undressing when Keith turns around at the sound of the door opening, and Lance gets a view of his pale stomach and defined abs. Holy _heck to the no._ He looks up as Keith catches him at the door, spinning around so his back is to Lance. Lance can see the edge of the tattoo Keith has covering his back as he tries (but fails) to cover himself back up. As well as a _great_ view of Keith's ass as the wet fabric clings to him. 

"Um, hey. Do you need anything?" Keith says, not looking at Lance. 

Lance turns away, face positively burning. " _Hi_ ," he struggles, before clearing his throat to catch his composure and looking pointedly at the ceiling. "Sorry, I just wanted to let you know that I need to run out for a sec." He jutts his thumb towards the outside, even though Keith still isn't looking at him. 

"Oh, sure." He sounds choked up, and Lance would laugh at this situation if he wasn't the person it was happening to. Keith then speaks again, seeming more curious than embarrassed. "You okay?" Keith looks over his shoulder, meeting Lance's gaze for the first time in the whole conversation. 

"I'm good." He waves it off. "I'll be back in about an hour, k," He says before throwing a two finger salute towards Keith, winking with it because the alcohol is still making him lose control. His brain doesn't seem to understand the concept of not flirting when he's drunk. Or when he's around Keith. Or drunk around Keith, he guesses. And then he's disappearing behind the door again and Keith is left alone in his room. 

Keith smiles as leaves, laughing at their awkwardness before he looks down at his bare legs, thighs in show. Lance didn't seem to notice, and he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He doesn't know how long he can carry in keeping it a secret from Lance. There's going to be a time he slips up, like just then. 

He just doesn't know if he can deal with that. 

——————————

Keith comes out from the shower, changing into his night clothes before he's plopping down onto his bed. The water of both the sea and the shower has sobered him up a lot more, and he's now officially _beat_. But he has a lingering rush in his blood. Something he knows isn't connected to the alcohol. He goes to check his phone, but the brightness of the screen is irritating, especially in the dark of his room. 

He turns it off, before turning it back on not a second later to check the time. 

_3:45 am._ Shit, it's late. But Keith guesses he doesn't have to get up early. He doesn't know if he can get up early. Especially to sit next to Lance, eating his food as his brain screams about how much he loves the boy. Like, what if instead of saying _'thanks for the food',_ he spouts off some shit like _'can I kiss you?'_

He just— he needs to blow off some steam. Drain his feelings for Lance out, even if it's just a little. Enough to make it tolerable to be around him. So, he reaches for his guitar, holding it comfortably in his lap. 

Lance isn't here, he won't hear. He can sing whatever song he needs to. When one comes to mind, though, his fingers stall on the strings. This song is important to him, and to Lance. To their relationship. He just… He skips playing that song, instead trying out some old tunes that he learnt when he was younger. It's rejuvenating to play them, and he loses his sense of time as he gets absorbed in actually playing something for the first time in a while. 

Lance practically falls through the front door, shrugging off his coat and finally feeling sleep come over him. He kicks off his shoes before he moves towards his room. He's thankful he finished picking his phone back up from the bar in a lot less time than he suspected. He can fall into his sheets so much sooner, now, and sleep will hopefully come very fast. It isn't until he hears the guitar that he stops in his steps, interest piqued. 

It's coming from the room further down the hall, the door sligjly ajar, giving Lance a clear sound of Keith's deep voice as he strums.

Keith is playing again tonight? 

Lance catching Keith singing and playing his guitar, sometimes his ukulele, isn't uncommon lately. Lance isn't used to sleeping alone. It's never something he's been good at, and then hearing Keith's music for the first time in half a decade makes him thankful for his bad sleeping habits. It started the night after Keith had first arrived, where Lance was laying in his bed, that he heard it through his open window. 

He had climbed out of bed, sitting in the bay and listening to Keith work on the tune. After that night, it sort of becomes Lance's favourite part of the day. It's not healthy, but he stays up late just to hear Keith play. Sometimes it's the original je heard the first night, and sometimes it's covers or old songs Keith wrote. 

Asking Keith in the bar about his music was just an invite for Keith to open up. Lance really wants him to be more open with him. Especially now, after tonight. 

The song slowly gets quieter as Keith finishes, and Lance is about to knock to announce he's back —say a quick good night because it just gives him an excuse to see more of the raven haired boy— when Keith is strumming again. And this song… 

This song, Lance _knows_. 

He more than knows it. It's a song that has taken place in his heart. Deep, deep down. Because five years ago, Keith played it to Lance. Two of their milestones fit into this one song… 

———————————

**Then**

September - Senior Year 

Two months into Lance and Keith's relationship, they're sat on Keith's bed, playing a game of Monopoly — the board spread along the sheets, both boys opposite sides, staring intently as Lance rolls the dice around in his balled fist. 

"If I land on Istanbul _one more time_ , I will flip this board," Lance almost growls, nerves spiking as every time he's gotten close to this part of the board, he's landed there. And it's exactly where Keith has bought the most houses, making Lance lose his money in excessive amounts. 

The dice falls out of Lance's hand, rolling across the board, about to land on the four he needs to avoid it, but it rolls once more than needed, and stops on the opposite side of the dice: a three. 

"This is rigged!" Lance's hands ball into fists, but Keith grabs a hold of his wrists, stopping him from flipping the board. 

"No," Keith says flatly, and Lance pouts. 

"But now I lose…" He whines, whole body deflating. He goes limp, and Keith pushes him back so he lands with his back on the bed, instead of his head on the board, messing it up. 

"I'm bored. Can we do something different now?" 

"Like what?" 

Lance perks up, sitting back upright and leaning forward, over the board, to kiss Keith. Keith laughs into the kiss, blindly collecting and packing away the Monopoly parts. When most of it is packed away, Lance moves away from Keith, the latter letting out a whine as the taller boy moves off of the bed and walks away. 

Keith watches as he practically _skips_ over to Keith's rack of guitars, and Keith narrows his eyes, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

Lance trails his long fingers across all of Keith's guitars and smiles sweetly to his boyfriend. Keith glares at him, but Lance looks positively _pleading_ for his boyfriend to finally play him something after denying Lance the luxury of hearing him, even during their friendship. So, of course, Keith folds. Weak to Lance. He makes grabby hands, and Lance jumps to grab the acoustic and hand it to Keith. 

He repositions the guitar to sit comfortably in his hands, strumming a few chords to tune it correctly before turning to look up at Lance. 

He's smiling, seeming to glow at the fact that his boyfriend is finally going to play for him as he sits across from him in the bed. His nerves of playing for Lance settle at how excited he seems, and he confidently asks:

"Any requests?" 

Lance thinks for a moment, holding his hands to his chin and humming. He does this for about a minute before shrugging and deciding, "Surprise me." 

Keith considers choices of songs he knows that Lance may like. He can't possibly belt out any Shakira or Beyonce, and he is still learning some of the Mamma Mia songs, but is nowhere near ready to play them. Yes, he is learning them for Lance. Yes, he's weak for him. 

He suddenly remembers the song his mother taught him. It's what played at his parents' wedding, and he promised himself that he'd play it for the first person he fell in love with. 

So, he guesses there isn't a better time than now. He moves in his perch on the bed, across from Lance, starting to feel nervous to finally let Lance know how he feels. Lance waits eagerly for Keith to start playing, leaning in closer. 

Keith starts to strum the familiar song. It's a song he knows off of his heart, able to play it with his eyes closed with how much he's practiced it in the past. It holds a special place in his heart, connects him to his parents, while also connecting with the person he loves. Not many believe it, but Keith can be really sappy when it comes to love. It's not something he takes lightly. He smiles through the lyrics, and Lance's face is unreadable as he recognises the words. 

_~Wise men say_

_Only fools rush in_

_But I can't help falling in love with you_

_Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can't help falling in love with you?~_

Ever since Keith was a child, he's chosen to express himself through music. He's mostly a physical person — to show feelings through his actions, not much for speaking his feelings. The only time he shows himself more than physically, is when he sings. He lets himself feel everything, and lays himself bare for whoever is around to witness it. 

_~Like a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling, so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be~_

Lance has brought his hands to his mouth, very likely understanding Keith's message, and Keith can't hold back his smile as he sings out his feelings to his boyfriend. 

_~Take my hand~_

He looks to Lance now, fully directing the words to him. 

_~Take my whole life too_

_For I can't help falling in love with you—_

His playing is cut off when Lance tackles him in a hug, Keith landing with his back to the mattress and Lance above him, hugging tightly around his shoulders. The guitar is uncomfortably stuck between them, so Keith pulls it from between them and places it on the floor before wrapping his arms around Lance and hugging back. 

Lance pulls back, but only enough to kiss Keith deeply, and Keith can feel Lance's smile though it. Keith rolls them so Keith is on top. As he strokes his thumb over Lance's cheeks, he feels that they're wet and opens his eyes to see Lance is crying. 

"Hey, hey, hey. You okay?" He coos, voice soothing as he wipes Lance's tears away. 

Lance nods, a dopey smile on his lips as he opens his teary eyes. "Just happy. I can't believe you said it."

Keith's chest feels full, looking down at his boyfriend who has just _cried_ at his love confession. It makes it ten times better. He couldn't have wished for a better boyfriend. He really loves this boy more than anything. 

"Hey, Lance?" He says, tucking a strand of curly, brown hair behind his ear and stroking his cheek again as he looks down at him. Lance looks up at him, a form of _yeah?_ , And Keith can't hold back his bright smile. "I love you," He breathes. 

Lance chuckles tearfully, cupping Keith's face with his hands. "I love you, too," He beams, leaning up to meet Keith's lips. 

———————————

It took them an hour to stop making-out, and it was only because Krolia walked in on them and made a bigger deal of it than she had to. But now, they're on a walk outside, on their way to meet Hunk. 

Lance swings their hands, constantly singing 'I love you's. He hasn't stopped saying it for the last forty minutes, and Keith is starting to think it's getting a bit much, but he doesn't dare stop him. 

"You don't realise how long I've had to keep it in, Keith," He sighs exaggeratedly, his whole body moving with it. "Everytime I start a sentence with ' _Keith, I_ ', I wanted to just _say it_. But it had to be special!" He holds up the index finger of his free hand, like his sentence is an imperative. "And then you beat me to it." He pouts childishly. 

Keith just laughs and kisses Lance's knuckles, a move he knows Lance loves, and he calms down a little, but that doesn't mean he will shut up. 

"You're doing music in University, right?" 

Keith smiles and looks up to his boyfriend. "I've applied to Marmora. I won't be finding out until next year, though. They have auditions from May to August."

"That close to the new year?" 

Keith nods. "Yeah, but my audition is in June, so not too close," He explains as they round a corner. "But their term starts in September, not August." Lance nods back, understanding. It is different to have it start in September, but it gives him more time to move into his housing. The housing he hopes to share with his best friends. "You know what it would mean if I got in?" 

Lance's smile is almost blinding as he skips. "We'd all be in the same city for University."

They squeeze their intertwined hands and Lance swings their arms again. 

———————————

**Now**

Lance quietly makes his way to his room as Keith finishes playing the song and starts to pack away his acoustic. As the taller boy finds his bed, he flops down, hiding his face in the cold duvet. He turns his head slightly, cheek squished into the cover and one eye looking around the dark room. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. 

He's so gone for this boy. 

As Lance does this, Keith is staring up at the ceiling of his own bedroom, almost in a daze as he thinks about Lance. He threads his fingers through his hair before pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes and groaning in frustration. 

He's so gone for this boy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~If you like pina colada's~ 〜(￣▽￣〜)(〜￣▽￣)〜
> 
> As you can see, things are picking up! It's all happeninggggg! I've written up the first draft of the confession scene and I loveeeeeee it! I've also been editing the plan for this story and I just can't wait to share this story with everyone uwu. 
> 
> There's one broganes hurt/comfort scene that I can't get over. Not even fully written, just so, so soft and loving. They're the best bros :') 
> 
> For the next few chapters, it's Keith and Lance just acting like teenagers again and reliving their youth through each other while also pining like fools and I love it sm <3
> 
> Okay, time for me to go do the schoolwork I've been avoiding. See you in the next update :) 
> 
> Don't forget to visit these links!:
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Li6ByFTwMiqG1dc9vf8nB?si=dQJAlkrvRweHm4jrIi0Gng)
> 
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/tea_addict264?r=name)


	5. Clarity - Zedd & Foxes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their mutual realisation the night before, a small storm hits, forcing Keith and Lance to spend the day together inside. 
> 
> It's awkward, and it takes more time than Keith would like to get fully comfortable. 
> 
> All while their past-selves spend time at the Christmas festival with eachother and the rest of the gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy End-Of-Voltron two year anniversary :') 
> 
> Y'all, I've drawn art for a scene in one of the near-future chapters and I just :') I love it. I think I've finally got the url to it after agessss of me struggling (cause I'm stoopid) so hopefully it will work in the chapter it is for. If not (again, cause I'm stoopid and will probably mess up) once I've posted the corresponding chapter I will post it to my insta :) 
> 
> I recommended Voltron to my best friend on Friday, and she's already on season 3 lmao. She's both a Kidge and Klance shipper. But because she is watching it, I've started it again 💀 I've watched Voltron like 4 times already. But I guess that's more research for a future fic, which is Canon-universe ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Warning: Under the age of 18 sex? No smut cause I'm no good at writing that stuff, but it's still implied? It's legal at 16 in the UK so I never thought it would be underage, but I guess it is? Anyway, it's at the second "Then" if you wanna avoid it.

_~If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy_

_If our love’s insanity why are you my clarity~_

-Zedd & Foxes-

  
  


**Now**

It took Keith another two hours to get to sleep after playing last night. Meaning he was up until five in the morning. _Three hours sleep_. That, paired with the fact that he forgot to close his blinds last night, so the light of the morning has begun to shine through onto his face, is not the best. To top it all off, the light that comes though isn't from the sunrise. It's white light, and all Keith can really see outside the window as he forces one eye open, is a mixture of greys and whites, although he's too tired to make out the view clearly. 

All he can tell is that the weather is, in all honesty, shit. This means he can't go out onto the beach for inspiration, and he has to spend more time with Lance than he had hoped. 

It just isn't his ideal day, okay? He had hoped that he could wake up from his dreadful night (where really, a part of him loved it) to a nice, hot, summer day where he could walk far, far, far away from Lance. Because how is Keith meant to stay in the house with the boy he realises he still loves? The boy he hurt… 

He groans into his pillow, long and drawn out, hoping to relieve some of his distress. 

Maybe he could just go out and let the wind sweep him away to someplace where he doesn't have to deal with his problems.

He rests his chin on the pillow above his crossed arms and glares at the window above his bed like it's his newest enemy. 

He looks like a disgruntled cat with his disheveled bed head, falling into his face and across his pillows in inky strands. 

It's when he's having a staring contest with the horrible weather that he hears a distant _clang_ through his door, followed by a loud curse. Keith can't help hugging the pillow a little closer. Hates that his lips curve up slightly at the corners. 

Well, he now knows Lance is up. 

He decides it's time he should get up, too. Way more awake than he thinks he should be at eight am. Changing, he opts for wearing his usual comfy black leggings and his oversized hoodie. It's burgundy, swallowing his whole figure and going down to around mid-thigh, as well as reaching the knuckles of his fingers. No uncomfortable gloves today. 

He doesn't need extra discomfort today. 

Turns out the power outage last night was due to the incoming storm that is hitting today. As Keith walks through into the main room, the first thing that he notices is the windows. The sand of the beach and waves white-horses make the outside look like a cloud of grey, and he can hear shells and plants hitting the glass. 

It's a little chaotic. 

What's that for irony?

Lance is cooking them breakfast, as always. So Keith goes to the drawer to grab cutlery to set the counter where they'll eat. He opens the drawer, going to grab the forks and knives as Lance does the same. 

Their hands touch and they both recoil as if they've been burned. 

It happens again when Keith goes for the coffee pot as Lance does, too. 

It keeps happening whenever they touch, and it's getting on Keith's nerves. As soon as they've finished their food — keeping clear of touching each other as they sit next to one another, arms tucked in and legs kept uncomfortably closed — Keith moves around the counter, over to the L-shaped sofa and falls down into the edge closest to the wall.

He watches as Lance collects the dishes and rinses them, before dropping them back in the sink to soak for a while. He walks over to the sofa and plops down on the other edge, seeming to close in on himself as he sits. 

Keith feels the irritation grow under his skin. It's as if they've taken steps back from Keith's first day in Varadero. They're skittish and overly aware of each other's touch. It's getting old, and it has only just started. 

It's awkward. It's just _not_ them. They've always been comfortable. Constantly in sync. Keith understands himself being hesitant; He's just realised that the love of his life, who he abandoned at the hospital five years ago, is still, very much, the love of his life. 

But Lance… 

Oh, wait. Lance is speaking to him. 

"I tried going outside," He says into the silence, looking over the back of the sofa at the door as if it may kill him any second. "Do not try it." Keith can't help but laugh a little. He can bet it's not a good idea, but Lance is still being his dramatic self. 

"Weather really that strong?" Keith says. He feels as if his emotions are jumbled up. He doesn't know if he wants to talk, or if he wants to stay quiet, but he guesses any conversation is good between them. 

"Yeah, but I think it will most likely settle tomorrow," Lance comments, scrolling his phone screen as he continues to speak. "Maybe hit up again a little after, but then it'll be over."

"Well, I didn't realise we had a weather-man in this house." Keith doesn't mean to say it out loud. It's a thought that sprung to his mind as Lance spoke. Instead, it comes out of his mouth, laced with sarcasm, just like he used to. 

"I just checked the weather report, moody," Lance laughs, holding up his phone to show Keith the screen. It's unclear from their distance, but Keith can make out some of the pictures and numbers. He deflates at little, seeing as Lance is fine with his comment. Lance seems so normal. He is so calm and collected, and Keith doesn't know whether that is a good sign or not. 

From this, there's two possibilities: 

  1. Lance is comfortable with Keith, because he likes him and likes being with him. (This is the option Keith wants. Even if he'd never outwardly admit it.)
  2. He is just really not interested in Keith, so he sees no point in being awkward. (This option is… not Keith's favourite.)



But if Keith keeps thinking about the possibility of either, he will just carry on overthinking the situation until he is so drained and deflated that he won't even spend the time he has on his music. 

That's what he needs to concentrate on. His music. 

He may not have the beach, but he has the house. He has all the memories and photos, like the printed canvas hanging on the wall behind him. It's a picture of Krolia, Keith, Shiro and Texas standing on the beach in their beach clothes, Keith with a rubber ring around his waist, the sea shining and sand glittering from the sun.

He looks up at the canvas, head laying against the sofa cushion behind him. It looks even brighter and happier than he remembers. All of their smiles blinding. Keith's smiling so much in the picture that his eyes are squinted. It causes the small — almost not there — burn behind his eyes. Seeing himself that way after so long stuck in his depression is difficult, and causes him whiplash. 

He sits back down in his seat, fishing his small notebook and pen that he put in his hoodie's pocket this morning. He lays it across his knees as his legs are brought close to his chest, feet up on the sofa cushion with the rest of him. 

He starts writing, pen scratching against the lined paper. That, Lance's fingers tapping on to his phone, and the wind outside create a settled silence upon them. 

But silence has never been a good friend to Keith. It causes his mind to race. It's uncomfortable. So, he finds his eyes drifting from the paper to Lance. He's reading something in his phone, and Keith's chest tightens at the sight of his small smile. 

He doesn't realise he's writing until he's finished the line. 

_I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around_

He laughs internally at the line. It's gone into a curve as he wrote it without looking, taking up about three lines of the sheet. But that's not what he feels is the humorous part. He just thinks it's insane. 

He's so in love with Lance, and it both brings clarity to his mind, letting him calm and smile. But it's also troublesome. It Causes the awkwardness between them both, because Keith doesn't know how to act around him. 

He's both his clarity and insanity at the same time. 

He huffs, looking to the piano across from him, a few feet ahead. The white light of outside streams through the curtains, a thin line of light bending around all the corners and indents of the wood. 

He suddenly thinks of his mother, turning away his thoughts of the boy sitting adjacent to him on the sofa. He thinks about him and his mother sitting together as she composed the piano piece she wrote, but never got the chance to write lyrics to. 

That was always meant to be Keith's job. A project between the two of them. But he never could. 

And he doesn't know if he will ever be able to. 

. 

. 

. 

_I'm everything that I am because of you._

——————————

**Then**

December - Senior Year 

The Christmas festival is an event where loads of people join together into one of the parks and celebrate the winter break together. There are stands for gifts, food, drinks and more. There's an ice rink and everything. So, of course, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Allura, Lotor, Shiro and Adam are all going as a big group. 

"Come on! I'm gonna show you my skills on the ice!" Lance cheers, pulling Keith and Allura along with him to the rink in the centre of the whole festival. 

"Do you skate, Lonce?" Allura asks, gladly coming along with Lance to the stall where the skates are rented. 

"Well, no… I've never been on the ice, but it can't be that hard," He says, a little quieter than his before boisterous cheers. But then he's shrugging, placing one hand in his hip confidently as he grabs his skates from the person behind the desk."It's just like walking. I can do that good enough."

"Didn't you just slip on the steps coming up here?" Adam asks as he comes up behind them to rent his and Shiro's skates. 

"Details," Lance says, waving it off. They all laugh, Lance rolling his eyes and flipping his scarf as he walks off to the bench to change his shoes. 

Turns out, Ice skating _isn't_ as easy as walking.

No where near it.

Lance isn't the best at skating, but he is still better than Keith. He grips onto Lance's arm like it's his only life line as they round the rink together. Hunk in down the other side, struggling just as much as Keith as he practically glues himself to the wall. 

Adam and Shiro are both pretty good. Their skill is at least tenfold of Keith's, but that isn't saying much. Like, at all. They hold hands as they make their way around the ice, smiling and laughing and almost tripping when they laugh a little too hard. 

Now, for Allura. Well, it _is_ like walking for her. She's perfect on the ice, and she explains that it's actually because she has taken ice-skating lessons since she was young. Lotor is helping one of the children who's struggling, and Allura practically melts. 

Keith likes it. It's fun to be with his friends. Even if he does keep slipping—

Keith catches the front of his blade on the ice, his train of thought is cutting off. He pulls Lance with him as Keith lands on his ass for the fourth time in the mere fifteen minutes he's been here. The taller boy lands on top of Keith, knocking the air out of his boyfriend. 

They groan, before Allura is gliding past them, graceful as ever. She winks, and they both boo at her, pulling faces. She just laughs, and then spins. A big laugh in the face _._

Lance helps him back up, and as Keith is getting the hang of it again, he falls again. 

When Keith's ass is cold enough that he can't feel it, Shiro calls for them all to go get Hot Chocolate. It's warm in Keith's hand and as he drinks it, fighting the cold away. 

And when Lance burns his tongue, Keith doesn't have to hold back from kissing him like last year. Able to relish in it as Lance eases into the kiss, smiling and wrapping his arms around Keith's shoulders, still holding the cup. 

How he gets to ask a small, "Better," and they lay their foreheads together. 

To have Lance reply with a light, "Maybe I need a little more." before moving back in to kiss Keith. 

It feels so right. Keith loves it. Love _Lance._

——————————

"Evening, santa." Lance sing-songs as he falls comfortably into Keith's lap, who was sat on a bench to the side of the festival, taking a breather. He may like having loads of friends, but it's tiring. 

"Please, don't." Keith pleads. 

He ignores Keith's plead for mercy and instead moves to whisper sweetly in his ear. "I know what I want for Christmas."

"I'll give you coal," He deadpans, despite the urge to sigh at the feeling of Lance nosing at his neck. 

"Aw, come on, you'll like this present." Keith stays silent and waits for Lance's elaboration with a single, unconvinced, raised brow. "A kiss from my grumpy boyfriend."

"But you don't have a boyfriend?" Keith says in the most believably questioning tone. Like he's actually confused, and Lance pouts. Keith laughs, threading his fingers through the back of Lance's brown hair and bringing him to meet Keith's lips for a kiss. 

Allura has her gloved hands wrapped around her cup of hot chocolate. She watches the two boys, sighing fondly, a cold cloud of winter-breath mixing with the steam rising from the hot drink. 

"They're so in love."

"They really are." Hunk is next to Allura, internally laughing at the two boys, but also enjoying seeing them happy. To think that when Hunk first suspected the feelings between them, they both denied the claim, playing it off as if they were ' _just rivals_.'

Now look at them. Nuzzling close to one another with the most genuine and fondest smiles he's ever seen from them. 

"I really love when I'm right." Hunk crosses his arms, laughing lightly. 

——————————

**Now**

The silence between Keith and Lance is only disturbed an hour later, when Lance reaches for the remote and switches on the television, searching through the channels before deciding on a movie. Keith got a decent amount of lyrics written, and he smiles as he reads over them. They're nowhere near done, but they're getting there. 

It's the vibrating against his stomach that brings him to pull his phone out of his pocket, seeing Shiro's caller ID and himself in the reflection of the facetime call. 

He presses accept, Shiro's face coming over his screen more pixelated than usual. Wow, the storm is really strong. 

" _Hey, Keith._ " Shiro smiles, moving the camera from close to his face to further away, trying and failing to get Keith more in focus, Keith guesses. _"Sorry, I think my WiFi is spotty."_

"Nah. We're being hit by a small storm." As he says this, a few plants hit the back door with a loud, wet _splat_. Keith winces. "We're stuck inside for the day."

 _"Ooo, '_ we _'?"_ Shiro prods, and Keith tries not to groan as he expects the, _"Hey, Lance!"_ from Shiro.

"Hey, Shiro!" Lance calls back, just as enthusiastic. Shiro moves his head, as if it will get his a view of the area around Keith; like Keith isn't the one in control of what Shiro sees on the screen. Honestly, the man acts older than he actually is. 

Shiro gives up on his little search, his shoulders slumping as he asks Keith, _"Where's Lance? I can't see him."_

Keith clicks the button on his screen to flip the camera, showing Lance, sitting on the other edge of the sofa, legs crossed and smiling as he waves. 

_"Why are you two so far apart from each other?"_

Keith winces at the unbidden reveal of the awkward subject. Bringing up their inability to touch one another so blatantly. Lance seems to feel the same, smiling through his grimace. So, instead, Lance talks about something else. 

"How're you and Adam?" 

Shiro takes the bait, none the wiser. " _We're good. Adam's playing with Kos', so he's distracted. But he says hi!_ " 

Keith smiles at the mention of Kosmo. He misses him. Hopes he'll be able to look after him once he's back from the holiday. Mentally strong enough to look after more than just himself. He's always felt a sense of guilt for not being the right type of owner to Kosmo. Keith was the one who found the dog abandoned in an ally. 

No parents. Just like Keith. 

He thinks that's where the appeal to him came from. Why he was so quick to take him home and keep him. To care for him and feed him and sleep with him. He loves him. 

But then Keith went into the darkest part of his depression. And he just… He just regrets it. 

"Kos'?" Lance asks, bringing Keith out of the small dip in his mood. 

"Kosmo." Keith supplies, a small curve to his lips. "He's my dog."

Lance's eyes widen, and then he's sitting straighter in his chair, interest incredibly piqued. "You didn't tell me you had a dog!" 

" _Really? Keith usually doesn't shut up about him. He's obsessed with him._ " Shiro contributes to the conversation, making Keith roll his eyes. 

"I'm allowed to like my dog, okay?" Keith argues. 

_"He misses sleeping in a human bed,"_ Shiro adds, ignoring Keith's disgruntlement at his brother. He's honestly so annoying. _"Me and Adam don't let him, unlike how Keith used to. He's too big."_ Keith pouts. He sounds like a simp to his dog. 

Like, he _is_. He'd sleep on the floor if it meant Kosmo was comfy. But _still_. 

"He's a _big_ dog!" Lance squeals again. "Keith! How could you _not_ show me these pictures?" 

_"Yeah Keith, how could you?"_ Shiro adds in, sounding way too hurt because Keith's _done nothing to him._ He lives with the damn dog. Annoying brother, _check_. 

He groans, slapping his hand to his forehead. "I forgottttt. Both of you, stop bullying me!" 

Shiro and Lance laugh, and Keith moves his hand from his face to watch as Lance's eyes squint adorably with his laugh through the camera. He smiles softly, admiring him secretly before Shiro is speaking up.

 _"Okay, well I see you're doing good. I'll contact you again soon. Bye, Keith."_ He says, before adding: _"Bye, Lance."_ He waves, even though Lance can't see him. 

"Bye, Shiro." Both Lance and Keith say in unison. Noted, they say it with different degrees of excitement. 

_"I love you, Keithhhhhh."_ Shiro coos, and Keith looks at Lance, unamused, as the other boy smiles. 

"I'm not saying it."

_"Please, Keith."_

"No."

 _"Lance, help me,"_ Shiro calls to the boy across from Keith. 

_"Please, Keith,"_ Lance and Shiro say together

Keith groans, glaring at Lance as he forces out a disgruntled, "I love you, Shiro."

 _"There ya go! Wasn't that har—"_ Shiro doesn't get to finish his sentence, as Keith hangs up, dropping the phone onto the cushion next to him. Lance stifles his laugh with his hand, and Keith smiles at him. 

The tension between Lance and Keith has considerably lessened. So Keith guesses he has that at least to thank Shiro for. 

"Man. I haven't seen Shiro in, what, two years?" Lance says, lounging comfortably in his cushioned seat, arms behind his head and gaze distant. 

But how Lance looks isn't what catches Keith's attention. It's what he said. 

"Two years?" When was Lance able to see Shiro two years ago? _When_ does Lance mean by two years ago? "What were you doing seeing Shiro two years ago?" 

"Oh." Lance obviously didn't mean to say that. But he did, so he tries backing out of it. "It was just when I was around the area. I saw him in the supermarket. Nothing special." He waves it off, searching for another subject. Keith knows. He knows most of Lance's expressions.

It's unsettling; That Lance is trying to avoid the subject. It was like last night. But Keith is still too scared to ask. Scared of what it could cause. What Lance could know. Because two years ago was when— 

Keith drops his gaze to his lap, and his sleeve covered wrists that lay over his thighs. He can't ask. It's too much for him right now. 

_Another day_ , he tells himself. A promise. 

"Anyway." Lance starts, and Keith looks up. "Luis said he missed Shiro and Adam."

"I bet." Keith tries to smile. Wanting his good emotions to return. "They were all in college together, after all."

"Crazy coincidence."

"I think we've had our fair share of coincidences lately."

"I guess you're right." Lance chuckles.

"Anyway. Tell me more about your family. I've missed them."

"Oh, well I've told you about Silvio and Nadia, right?"

"No." Keith shakes his head. "Who are they?"

"Only the best niece and nephew ever!" Lance cheers, and then holds his chin in thought. "But then there's also the fact that they are little shits, too…"

Once Lance starts to talk, he doesn't stop. Like it's spewing out of his mouth uncontrollably. Especially about Nadia and Silvio. They sound fun. Keith loves the thought of Lance being _Tio Lance_. It suits him. Keith has always known Lance will make the best father. He thought they would do it together. Once. But that possibility ending doesn't mean Lance would be any less amazing. It warms Keith to think about it. 

So, as Lance carries on talking, Keith doesn't stop him. He likes it. He really, really likes it. 

Lance has a voice that calms Keith. Maybe it's the memory of Lance whispering into Keith's ear in the past. Sweet nothings or just stupid, dirty jokes at the dinner table. _Lance_ calms Keith. A calm that settles over him in a welcoming way. It's different to the feeling of numbness that he's been through. It has an underlying fizz to it. Sparks an energy in him, but not the way adrenaline would itch under his skin when anxious. 

He welcomes Lance's talking spree. Watching as he gestures widely with his arms and smiles blindingly bright. Until he's catching Keith's fond look, and his speaking is slowing down, arms falling down to his sides and an embarrassed smile makes it across his lips. 

"I'm totally rambling, aren't I?" Lance asks, turning his gaze to the dark-red fabric of the sofa. "I'm sorry," He adds, and Keith is brought out of his stupor of his warm feelings. He pulls his brows together in concern.

"Don't apologise." He's stern when he says it. Resisting the urge to get up from his seat and hug the boy. Instead, he digs his bare heels into the cushion beneath him. Holding himself down. "I like when you speak." 

"Really?"

"Of course, I do," Keith admits, a small laugh at the end of the confession. He's blatantly transparent to Lance. He wants Lance to know he means it. The boy has issues with trusting people, but Keith would bet money that it's worse now than their high school years. It boils him blood. Who could hurt someone like Lance? 

_You did_ , Keith's mind supplies, and he worries his lip between his teeth at the thought. 

He feels the dull feeling of guilt build up in his gut as Lance lifts from his seat and moves to sit next to Keith. He has to hold back the flinch when Lance hugs him, and he can feel the heat coming from him. But also has to hold back from melting into it.

Maybe he fails a little in the last part, but it's okay. Because it helps him push the negative feelings away. Locks the thoughts away, because Lance doesn't seem to blame him. 

No. Keith's wrong. 

It's not that Lance doesn't _seem_ to. He _doesn't._ And it's something that really helps Keith. 

So, instead, he focuses on reassuring Lance, who is still hugging him. Keith pulls back (albeit hesitantly), smiling. 

"You get this little sparkle in your eyes when you speak about something you're passionate about. And your smile shows off your dimples. I almost forgot you had them." 

Lance smiles sheepishly. He scratches his cheek and Keith warms at the fact that he's able to make Lance look like that. Makes him want to carry on showering Lance in compliments. To tell him how extraordinary Lance is to him. How incredible he is, and how he takes Keith's breath away. 

But then Lance is speaking, and his voice sounds so small. 

"I just— there are some who said I can get annoying." He shrugs. "And the last thing I want to do is annoy you because I honestly lo—" He cuts himself off, mouth in a tight line. 

Because, one, Keith is hugging him again. Just so he can _stop him from_ _apologising._ It's like second nature, and Keith doesn't want it to be. Especially around him. 

And two, because he was about to say something he didn't want to say, and a part of Keith's heart wants it to be what he thought. But he knows that's impossible, so he gets rid of the thought. It's not fair on Lance for Keith to want him. It isn't right. 

He tightens his hold on Lance, clenching his jaw tight. He wishes he had the courage to just tell him. It will get the whole situation over with. He can tell him, deal with the consequences, and then just focus his time on his music completely. He won't be distracted. 

No more _insanity_ or _clarity_. No more mixed emotions that give Keith whiplash. 

But… 

He really can't. A deep set fear of the rejection. Losing Lance again. He wants to get the words out, and goes to. He opens his mouth to say it, but different words fall out. 

"Carry on with the story," He says, but can't bring himself to regret it as Lance brightens. They reposition themselves so they're just sitting next to one another. But it's close. Shoulders bumping occasionally. 

Lance continues to tell his stories. Going off into a tangent often before he brings himself back to the original story line. It's just like old times. He speaks animatedly, using his hands and eyes bright like they were the night under the stars. 

Yeah. Keith can't bring himself to regret not ruining this. 

Even if it would be nice if this was something more. 

——————————

After fifteen minutes of Lance practically _crying_ over pictures of Keith and Kosmo, he climbs over the sofa and ducks behind the kitchen counter. When he returns, he falls back into the soft sofa and hands Keith a bottle of Coke, going to open his own Fanta Lemon, but it doesn't budge as Keith is already taking a sip out of his bottle. 

Lance continues to struggle; twisting the cap in different directions before he admits defeat and let's his head fall back into the cushion of the sofa. Keith laughs, and Lance glares at him. Keith's laugh doesn't falter, just gets worse. 

Lance rolls his eyes, smiling playfully as he offers the bottle to Keith. He takes it, choosing to hold it instead of opening it straight away. "Still your worst enemy?" Keith asks. 

"They're impossible to open!" Lance whines, throwing his arms in the air exasperatedly. It's as he says that, Keith twists the cap and hears the satisfying _pop_ of the pressure release and the _skshhh_ that follows. 

Keith smirks, titling his head before whispering a sly, " _Noodle arms…_ " making Lance's scowl return. 

"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try to reach the mugs on the top shelf." Keith narrows his eyes as Lance hugs his arms to his chest slowly. Like he's winning a bet. Keith goes to argue back, but then Lance holds up his finger to silence him. "Without climbing on top of the counter."

Keith pouts, turning back to the TV, even though he can't understand any of the words- apart from the obvious ones that he picked up from his past with Lance. As Lance does the same, but no doubt understands the film, Keith opts to write more in his notebook, and all he can think to write are connotations of blue. 

The sky, full of a number of different, colourful birds. 

The ocean, glistening from the sun as the fish within swim freely. 

Crystals, shining brightly and beautifully. 

One of the Voltron meteors, reflecting in the eyes of the boy he holds so near and dear to his heart as they sit on a rooftop. 

And them eyes themselves. 

_Him_. 

He knows how lost he is. How impossibly gross and in love he sounds. Embraces it for the small moment that he doesn't feel guilty for it; stealing side-along looks. 

A while later, there's a big _crash_ from the television, and Keith looks up as Lance muses aloud, throwing his arms in the air. 

"You can't do that!" The brunet whines. Keith snorts before he can even think to stop himself. Lance pauses, turning to Keith. "You agree, though, right?" 

Keith seems like a deer caught in headlights, and Lance looks like he's holding in a laugh. Keith glances between Lance and the television a few times, then his notebook, and then back again. 

He smiles sheepishly and mutters a small, "I don't know what's going on."

Lance looks instantly confused. "What do you mean you don't know?" 

"I don't understand what they're saying."

Realisation makes it way across Lance's face and then he's face-palming. Muttering a small, "I completely forgot you don't know Spanish." as he shakes his head. "I'm so used to watching with someone who understands."

"I know a little bit," Keith laughs, trying to prove he isn't _entirely_ incompetent.

Lance peeks up from his hand, smiling coyly. " _Like what_?" He challenges back, getting into their old habits. 

Keith likes the challenge. Sets a fire in him. So he doesn't even think twice before coming out and shouting, "Te amo." with a big smile on his face. He's about to cross his arms in the smug way of announcing himself as the winner, but finds himself instantly freezing as the words fully register in his mind. He's only meaning to banter, but, It's as if he's let a secret loose. 

Because honestly, he kind of has. 

Because it isn't a lie. And he doesn't know if Lance realises it isn't a lie. He stares at Keith, face unreadable and eyes more stormy than outside as he looks at him, a few inches between them as they sit together. 

There's a beat of silence. 

Something hits the window from outside. 

A woman screams on the television, and that pulls Lance back into reality. 

"You're watching this without understanding?" Lance asks into the tense silence between them, cutting through it and trying to salvage the normalcy they've finally found after most of the morning being uncomfortable. Keith nods, and Lance tilts his head to the side. "Why?" 

Keith shrugs, slowly — _so, so slowly_ — feeling Lance's search for normalcy work. "You're enjoying it. I like seeing you happy." It's an easy answer, but it seems to do something to Lance. Jumbles his head someway. His eyebrows furrow, lips pursing frustratedly as he searches his brain for the answer to a question Keith doesn't know. 

Lance doesn't say anything. Just turns back to the television, seeming much different from earlier. Internally battling something, but it doesn't feel negative. Seems almost… Good. Calming Keith's erratic heartbeat. 

"Well, I'll turn the subtitles on for you."

Keith just smiles, sitting comfortably next to Lance and watching the TV, now knowing what's going on from more than just the actions. 

It's a little later when Keith yawns, placing his head on Lance's shoulder out of habit. Lance doesn't move him, or stop him, so Keith thinks that's how he falls asleep so easily. 

Lance watches Keith as he sleeps. The television is practically useless to Lance as he's stuck thinking about the weight on his shoulder, mind not concentrating on the movie at all. 

He looks down to Keith, his chest tightening at the sight of Keith sleeping, hair falling into his face. His hands are balled tight, keeping his sleeves over his hands. It hides what Lance knows is there. What hurt his heart to see that awful night. 

But the hoodie doesn't cover Keith's fingers. Lance can easily see the black ink over his ring finger: A Moon. It matches Lance's Sun on his own ring finger. The tattoos they got five years ago with the help of Lance's fake ID, because he just couldn't wait the few months.

He goes to move the hair out of Keith's face. But before he can, he pulls away. He worries his lip as he looks down to the sleeping boy next to him. 

"You're amazing, you know that?" he sighs. "You listen. Make me happy. You make me feel more appreciated than I've felt in a long, long time." He sucks in a breath, face softening. _"I love you,"_ Lance whispers, barely even audible to himself, and so, so fond. He feels the far too familiar burn behind his eyes. "I love you so much. Please tell me you feel it, too."

Lance knows Keith's fast asleep. In the past, when the boy's out, he's out like a light. But he wonders if that's the same these days. All the music playing. He guesses that's why he's tired now. 

So he won't wake him. Doesn't dare to move him. 

Instead, he leans his head on Keith's, face squished into his long, dark hair. He watches the movie play, the only other noise around him being the muffled whistle of the wind outside and Keith's soft snores. He feels content, having Keith be this close. It may be selfish, but Lance will let himself be. Even if it's only for a little while. 

It's when Keith nuzzles into Lance's shoulder that the taller boy melts, closing his eyes and letting out a relieved sigh. 

——————————

**Then**

December - Senior Year

It's late when Keith and Lance get home from the Christmas festival. They're in fits of giggles, laughing at a stupid joke as they stumble through Lance's front door and make their way to the bedroom.

They strip their outer clothes and collapse onto Lance's bed, cuddling close to each other and rubbing their cold noses together. Lance's breath smells of the Hot Chocolate as they warm each other up, leaving lazy kisses and giggling in between. 

Lance yelps at Keith's cold hands sliding up his skin under his shirt, but soon just laughs into their kiss. It's when Keith kisses Lance's neck and his hands find his boxers that Lance pauses their kissing to look at Keith questioningly. Silently asking the question. 

Keith just nods, pulling at the fabric, and Lance happily complies. 

When they're both naked, Keith feels his heart beat erratically in his chest. He's been naked with Lance before. He's done many things with Lance before. But they haven't taken the big step. It's never been a need or anything. It will happen when it happens. And he feels as if this could be it. There's something between them that makes Keith nervous, but in the good way that Lance has always brought. 

Keith holds himself above Lance with his weight on his arms. "You're sure you want to?" Keith asks, and Lance smiles as he reaches for the drawer of his bedside table. 

"Yeah, I want to." They smile, and then Keith is lowering his head, Lance meeting him in the middle. 

They both help the other figure it out, and Keith will always see it as a special night between him and Lance. 

——————————

**Now**

Keith's eyes open slowly. Groggily. And all he can think about is how heavy his body feels. Naps have always had that effect on him. He somehow ends up feeling more tired than he had before he even let himself drift asleep. 

It's when his eyes open fully, and the fogginess of just waking up disappears that he realises the weight isn't entirely from the nap. It's from the body laying on top of him. Lance. He's laying on Keith's chest, arms wrapped around his waist. He's drooling, making a damp spot on Keith's hoodie. 

But Keith pays more attention to the other things… 

Like the rise and fall of his chest with every even breath. How peaceful he looks. His long, dark eyelashes fanning across his cheeks as his eyes stay closed. How his cheek squishes as it leans against Keith's chest. 

Their legs are tangled, and Keith feels extremely warm. He doesn't know if it's because of the clothes he's wearing; the boy he's cuddling with; or the fact that the boy is _Lance_. 

He smooths Lance's hair, running his fingers though the shorter strands of the back. It's obvious it's an outgrown undercut, but Keith likes it. It's different to the mop of curls he used to know as Lance's signature hairstyle. Keith wonders if the boy still straightens his hair like he used to sometimes.

He scratches Lance's head with his blunt nails. It causes a groan to escape Lance's throat before he's lifting his head and blinking sleepily at Keith. 

They stare at one another. Like it's a contest. The room engulfed in a silence that is no longer unfamiliar after today. 

And then Lance is letting go, moving to stand up sheepishly, and Keith’s whole body screams at the loss of contact. He has to hold back from reaching out and pulling Lance in and hugging him like he may have done years back.

But he also mentally slaps himself for that. He doesn't deserve Lance's love. He can't do it after what he did five years ago. He still doesn't forgive himself. 

They both walk to their rooms. It's dark out. They really slept for a long time. So it's no wonder that when Keith moves to his bed, he can't sleep. He's not tired. Not in the sleep ridden way, anyway. 

He's frustrated. The bed feels empty. He wishes for Lance's body to be pressed up against his, holding him close as their breath evens out and they fall asleep together. 

Lance doesn't sleep either, his blankets feeling especially cold now that he's felt the warmth from Keith again. 

They both scoff. 

They've gone from not being able to physically touch this morning, to craving it from one another, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith the next morning: Ah, shit. I forgot to wash the plates.
> 
> I have achieved in life: my dog is in my bed. She never gets in bed with me :) <3
> 
> Also, small Keith is superior. I will cradel him in my arms and keep him safe. 
> 
> My confidence in this chapter was sooooo low and I dreaded posting it (which is why it's late) but my friend helped boost my confidence and I actually ended up editing it a lot and liking it a lot better :) 
> 
> Just wanna say thanks for the support of people and readers. It's really nice to see some people have taken a liking :) it really does develop a lot. I have so much planned for this fic and I hope everyone stays to see it til the end <3 Any feedback from all of you is amazing! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter <3
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Li6ByFTwMiqG1dc9vf8nB?si=dQJAlkrvRweHm4jrIi0Gng)  
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/tea_addict264?r=nametag)


	6. Dopamine - With Confidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is addicting. That's all Keith knows. He's drawn to him and he makes him happy and it's getting out of hand. Keith doesn't know how much longer he's going to be able to keep his feelings to himself, as if he's even discreet about it in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me why I couldn't write this chapter in a way I liked until I started listening to Christmas songs. Like, why? 
> 
> I started thinking about Lance's car and realised my vision of it is just Stiles Stilinski's cj jeep but with a cargo bed. I watched teen wolf ageeeeessss ago, but that car stuck with me and it gives off pure Lance vibes. 
> 
> TW: Brief mentions of past suicide attempt and self harm scars. 
> 
> Stay safe, guys, and have a great holiday <3

_~You are golden and_

_You are flowing through me_

_You are ecstacy_

_You are, you are_

_You are my dopamine~_

-With Confidence-

**Now**

Lance sweeps the thick sheet of sand and collection of plants from the hood of his truck, cleaning his hands the best he can on his worn-down jeans after he's gotten it clear enough. There is honestly so much mess. But he guesses that's to be expected when it's rain season. It brings on more humidity, more heat— Lance takes another look to the sand he wiped from his car— And _storms_. Lots of rain storms. 

He rounds to the driver seat, hopping in and smiling at the familiar _creak_ before he puts the key in— but the truck doesn't start. 

He tries again. Nothing. 

And again. _Nothing_. 

_Again_. Noth— Okay, this isn't working. 

Lance knits his eyebrows together, confused. He looks around the interior, as if it may give him an idea of what the problem may be, but it's a blind man's task. Because in the world of cars, Lance is blind. He's never picked up the right skill to identify what's wrong with his truck unless it's the super obvious… _stuff_. 

Having a mechanical engineer as your best friend since forever, and then your old high school boyfriend also being talented in the world of cars just leads to that. Even at home, Veronica is the one with that skill, not Lance. 

Lance is a _people person._ He likes to teach and interact with _people_ , not spend all his time around metal. Now that he thinks about it, he really is the most sociable (obnoxiously boisterous) of his friends. Pidge being obsessed with computers, Hunk with mechanics and food, and Keith with his music. 

Well, he hopes Keith is counted in the friend part. Because if he's his friend, that's at least enough. If he can't be with him _romantically_ , friendship-wise is good enough, if he still gets to be around him. Gets to feel the happiness being around Keith brings him. 

And although he would rather it be more than a friendship— to hold Keith close and not hide how gone he is for him— he tries to hold it in the best he can. 

Even if his attraction to Keith and their impossible amount of chemistry makes it hard to hide. He's trying his best. 

But anyway, he's getting off track. In short, Lance hasn't the clue what to even look for and is hopelessly in love with Keith. That’s fun. He lets his head fall forward and onto the steering wheel with a sigh. But his head hits the horn and it _wails_ , scaring Lance enough that he sits back up too fast and hits his head on his headrest. 

God, he's a mess.

Keith comes running out, worried look on his face, having heard the horn. Lance just waves awkwardly as he rubs the back of his head, causing Keith to lean against the door frame, crossing his arms and shaking his head with a laugh.

——————————

"Okay, I've looked at it and I think I know what's wrong," Keith says, shutting the hood, wiping his hands together and placing them in his hips as he faces Lance.

"Is she _gone_? Can you save her?" Lance pleads, seeming as if he may _cry_. Honestly, this boy. 

Keith rolls his eyes fondly, laughing as he says, "She's not a _person_." 

"No, but she's my _baby_ and I _love_ her." Keith shakes his head. Lance, always bringing along the melodrama. 

"She's going to be fine," Keith reassures. "I just have to go get some stuff from the store. I can easily fix her up—" He moves to narrow his eyes at Lance playfully. "—So you can stop looking like you're gonna _die_ ," Keith chuckles, and Lance's pouting decreases, lips tugging upwards in a soft and fond smile.

Lance hugs him, and after a small moment of hesitation, Keith hugs back. It happened this morning, too… more times than Keith is willing to admit. They keep touching. Keep finding excuses to make the contact. The exact opposite to the morning before. Keith feels a little clingy when he's initiating it, as well as guilty. But when Lance is the one to start it… Makes him happy and sets a heat in his chest.

It's as their arms are still around one another that Lance whispers a small _thank you_ into Keith's ear. It sends a rush through his whole body, and he's extremely embarrassed with how strongly it affects him. 

He's so gone for this boy that it's honestly crazy. He feels this shouldn't be allowed. It's dangerous to love someone this much. God, is it dangerous, and makes Keith feel bad and his stomach unsettled. But if it doesn't also set the butterflies free to cause their havoc. Causes a giddiness in Keith that he hasn't felt in years. He feels the closest he's gotten to this feeling in the five years away from Lance was when he was told he didn't need therapy anymore. 

He's like a drug. Makes everything better and is easily addicting.

They pull away, far enough to not be awkward (as if that still exists around them), but close enough that there's still physical contact. Like it's a lifeline and they're drawn into each other's orbit. 

It's just… natural. 

"Okay," Keith starts. "I'll go to the store and buy some things.” But Lance raises an eyebrow, and Keith looks at him, wanting an elaboration on his change in expression. 

"Do you know the way?" Lance asks, before he smiles, getting that look, and Keith cups his hand over his mouth to silence him with a deadpan stare. 

"No dead memes. I _beg_ of you." Lance rolls his eyes, but it holds undeniable amusement as he nods. "And, no. I could use a guide, I guess." He smiles, leaning closer to Lance as he lets his hand fall, not pulling away when their fingers loosely intertwine. 

"Oh, I see," Lance starts, animatedly flexing his arm that isn't holding Keith's hand. "You need someone strong for the job. A real man."

Keith scoffs. "You're a bottom, shut the fuck up," He jokes, earning a small punch against the shoulder that only makes him laugh more.

" _Anyway!_ How are we gonna get there? If you haven't noticed, we don't have a car, and the store is quite far away."

Keith thinks for a moment, humming in contemplation before he's clicking his fingers and says a quick, “I have an idea.” before he runs into the back garden, where the garage is located. When he returns a few minutes later, it's with a bike. A motorbike, to be exact. It's Shiro's. He keeps it here, but Keith has probably ridden it more than his brother. 

"This—" He pats the leather seat of the bike, "-is Black."

"Wow, how observant." Keith narrows his eyes at him, looking pointedly over to Blue, before turning back to Lance and raising a brow silently. 

"Yeah, yeah. Blah, blah." Lance waves dismissively, before gesturing to the bike, a small tilt to his voice as he asks, "You're gonna make me get on that?" 

"I don't see any other option," Keith says as he straddles the seat, not blind to the look he gets from Lance before he's following suit; Climbing over the back and sitting close to him, thighs bracketing Keith's. 

He looks over his shoulder as he hands Lance the spare helmet, smiling softly. Lance returns it, eyes crinkling in the way Keith loves. 

As soon as their helmets are on, Lance's arms are around Keith's waist, holding on tight, and Keith let's himself lean into it. If only for a second, he let's the doubts and the guilt of loving Lance be blocked out. Let's himself indulge in the small, fleeting touches and the lingering weight of being pressed against each other. 

They drive through the streets, weaving around different corners lanes. When they reach a long drop, Lance _whoops_ , one arm held up in the air, the other holding Keith tighter. It's muffled by the helmet, but Keith hears it. Smiles bright at the fact that Lance is having fun.

They're caught up in the feeling of being this close. Yesterday, they had woken up on the sofa together after a day of avoiding each other. Both yearned for that warmth after they went to bed, held the sheets a little tighter in hopes it would make them show up. But they didn't, so now they relish in the ability to touch. 

When Lance leans further into Keith, more hugging him than holding on, Keith doesn't stop him. Leans into it, warming when Lance squeezes him and Keith feels him let out a sigh. 

——————————

**Then**

December - Senior Year 

Hunk and Lance are staying at Keith's for their new years eve party. Hunk sits next to Keith as Lance lays over both their laps, head lying comfortably on Keith's thighs. Keith cards his hands through Lance's brown, curly hair, smiling at his boyfriend's satisfied hum as the rest of them enjoy their conversations. 

Texas sits with Krolia, arm slung lovingly over her shoulder as they laugh at one of Adam's jokes. Hunk and Shiro talk about the food they love, and when Shiro offers to help Hunk with the food cooking in the kitchen:

"Hunk, if you don't want the food to become charcoal, don't let my son anywhere near it," Krolia laughs, taking a sip of her wine glass, before moving to stare pointedly at Keith. "Neither of my sons." Keith pouts as the rest of them laugh, bar Shiro, who is also pouting. 

Texas' laugh is the most obnoxious of them all, deep and hearty like it always has been. But as it happens, Krolia's raising a brow at him and smirking. 

"Don't act like you have any cooking skills either, hun. You're probably the worst of us all." Now it's Texas' turn to pout, rolling his eyes lovingly as he takes a swig of his beer. 

Keith loves the banter they all have. It's been, what? A year and three month since he's been friends with Lance and Hunk? Five months of Lance being his boyfriend. And they're all so close. They're comfortable enough to laugh and joke. It's so nice. Makes Keith happy. Different to the happiness he used to have when he was just with his family. It's like a hole he didn't know existed has been patched up. 

He's no longer a kid who had no friends. Now a kid who's got friends, a loving boyfriend and the best family. 

He can't imagine losing them. Can't fathom. 

"—eith?" 

Keith looks down towards Lance, who is smiling fondly, eyes crinkled at the corners. "Yeah?" He asks, coming out of his thoughts with his hand stalling. 

"Your mom wants to know if you want anything to drink." He wraggles his brows, letting Keith know drink means _drink_. _Alcohol_ drink. 

Keith looks over to his mom, eyebrows raised. "Mom, you're letting us _drink_?" He's had alcohol without his mother _knowing_ , but she's never been one to like him having it. 

"It's New Years Eve, Keith. We have to have fun," She laughs, swishing the wine in her glass before heaving herself off of the sofa and making her way to the kitchen. She comes back with a few bottles and cans, handing them out to them all, except Hunk, who doesn't like alcohol. 

A little later, when they've reached the limit of what Krolia has permitted them, she goes upstairs to do something unimportant to the rest of them, and that's when Texas sneaks in some more drinks for them, holding his finger to his mouth and whispering a quiet, shhh, cheeky smile on his lips. 

Lance laughs with him, and Keith shakes his head, smiling at his dad. Lance snuggles into his side, and he leans into it. Sighs and let's his eyes close, relaxing until food is ready. 

———————————

**Now**

They walk through the automatic doors, Keith going right to grabbing a cart and rounding a corner, sneaking a smirk to Lance as he disappears out of his line of sight. Lance looks at him questioningly, noise scrunched adorably and head tilted to the side. 

"Keith, why are you getting a cart?" Lance follows after Keith, coming to walk comfortably next to him. But he still looks suspicious as he asks, "I doubt we need that much stuff." 

"We don't." Keith shrugs one shoulder half-assedly, a coy smile on his lips as he leans his head to regard Lance. "But I have a reason. Trust me." He finishes it off with a _wink_. Throw in some _Lance bedazzle_. 

He's in a good mood. He's just more comfortable around Lance, now. Enjoys their banter and subtle (absolutely not subtle at all. Like, at all) touches. How it doesn't make his stomach sink as much anymore. He doesn't know what the shift is, maybe it's because Lance seems more comfortable, but Keith likes it. 

He's not saying he's entirely guilt free. It lingers. It's always there, a voice in the back of his head. But when Lance laughs, or crowds up against Keith, he's all he thinks about, and the voices and negative thoughts are stomped out. 

Even if they're like invasive cockroaches, always able to survive a shoe. 

But he's not going to concentrate on that. He's having fun with the love of his life who doesn't know he's the love of his life, or maybe _does_ and Keith just doesn't know that he _knows_ … 

It's complicated. Loads of mixed signals that Keith knows are very much his fault with his messed up feeling. 

But he's going to take advantage of this new thing between them— that Keith's too scared to really name— and enjoy it. Revel in it. 

Once they are out of sight from any other customers, Keith turns to Lance. "Lance, in," Keith says, pointing to the cart in front of him. Lance looks at him, eyebrow raised. Keith just raises his eyebrows back, and Lance gets even more frustrated, but he looks like he's trying not to laugh all the same. 

"What?" He says, that laugh sneaking past slightly, and Keith smiles.

He taps the bar of the cart. "Sit in the cart."

Lance stares at him, eyebrows furrowed and fighting a smile at the ridiculousness of the request. But Keith won't budge. He leans his weight on the cart, (not blind to the way Lance traces over his body with his eyes) waiting for Lance to get in with a smile on his lips. 

"What if we get in trouble?" Lance whispers.

Keith makes a scene of mulling over the possibilities. It's entirely unnecessary, as his answer would have anyway been, "Then I guess we'll get in trouble."

Lance shakes his head, dropping it into his hand and laughing. But, he gets in the cart, Keith aiding him with stepping in, holding his hand. When he's sitting comfortably, Keith gives it an experimental push and watches as it rolls away with Lance. Lance does a quiet _wooo_ , entirely sarcastic. 

When Keith is caught up to him, he looks down as he hovers over Lance, leaning in close to speak in his ear. "Fun?"

"Nah, you're a bad driver." Keith chuckles, and Lance feels it on the shell of his ear. 

Then Keith's running with the cart, pushing Lance. Hard. He jumps onto the bottom bar of the cart and holds the handle, moving with it as Lance muffles his hysterical laughter with a hand over his mouth. Lance grabs for Keith's arm, a sign to _stop_ , because they're nearing a shelf, but Keith doesn't stop them until the last second. Rides out the adrenaline of his hair blowing out of his face. 

When they're close enough that Keith deems his job done, he puts his foot down, using his strength to stop the cart. It hits the store shelf with a small, almost inaudible, _thump_ , and both boys freeze, looking around them to see if they've been caught. 

Luckily, the coast is clear, and they both let out sighs of relief, Keith slumping forward to lay his head on Lance's shoulder, turning to smile at him. Lance is catching his breath, but he's smiling brightly, and it's beautiful.

"Nice job, _Cariño_ ," Lance comments, name rolling off of his tongue as his hands card through Keith's hair, before he freezes when he notices Keith's shocked expression. "You okay?" 

Keith shakes his head, as if it will physically dislodge the wave of emotions that just hit him like a rock. He guesses it was just habit. The old pet name Lance loved to use. That Keith used to love being called. Instead, he pulls away, a small, "Thanks." coming from him. 

Keith turns to help Lance out. He holds his hand and his hip, making sure he's balanced. When he is safely standing on the linoleum floor of the shop, Lance's touch lingers. Long enough to be just about not normal—

And then Keith is stepping away as he spots one of the tools he needs to fix the truck, and he almost forgot that was why they are here. 

He reaches, but it's out of reach, being just too high up. Brings a frown to Keith's lips as he tries, stretching his body the best he can, even going on his tip-toes. But it's too high up, and when he tries _one more time_ , because he's stubborn, Lance's hand comes into his line of sight, grabbing the tool with an ease that brings a smug smile to his lips as he hands it to Keith. 

He rolls his eyes, going to take the tool and huffing as Lance laughs. 

But he doesn't get a grip on it. Grabs the air instead, because Lance is lifting it up, above his head and too high for Keith to reach. He glares at Lance, who just smirks, eyes lidded, full of mirth. 

And Keith knows _exactly_ what that expression means. 

He's challenging him. 

_Of course,_ he is. It's probably the most consistent thing about them, even when Keith was going through his little thunk of realising his feelings. Another consistent part being how he's never one for denying Lance a challenge. 

So he steps in close, rises on his tip-toes and tries to grab it from Lance. Notices how Lance's eyes widen for a second as Keith's body presses flush against his. But then he's swallowing down that shock, smile growing positively filthy as he leans their faces close. Too close for a convenience store, especially with fucking bedroom eyes. 

" _Told you: Small,_ " Lance breathes, like it's a secret shared between only them. Bumps his forehead with Keith's. Has him feeling Lance's breath against his top lip, and he has to take a deep breath to hold himself from closing the small distance as his eyes drop to the action of Lance's tongue poking out to wet his bottom lip. 

Swallows thickly, forcing his eyes up to meet Lance's, only to notice Lance's eyes lifting, too. 

_Fuck_. 

Lance is flirting with him. 

Actually, intentionally, flirting. And he likes it. Loves it. Sets a heat in the pit of his stomach that he hates, but the urge to lean in is much stronger than the negative thoughts drifting through his mind. 

He knows Lance. Knows how he works and he recognises all the tells. Knows that Lance _knows_ that he's being obvious. It's honestly unnerving, the fact that Lance isn't even _trying_ to be discreet. 

Even though it's a joke more than flirting— Lance always being more of a guy to try get you to laugh rather than swoon— there's an underlying spark. The proximity and the way he says it all breathless making it more intimate. Has a heat that didn't used to be there, or it was— just not as strong. And it works. Has Keith blushing like an idiot and quickly averting his gaze to a shelf off to their left, before his eyes land on another one of the tools he needs, one low enough that he can reach it _himself_. Stupid Lance. 

He ducks out of Lance's path and to the shelf, grabbing the tools from it and waving it triumphantly before throwing it in the cart.

He feels the heat on his face, and it's honestly embarrassing that a little tease got this reaction out of Keith. Yeah, being weak to Lance is something Keith is already aware of. But it's like he's lost his immunity to the silly flirting. Guess that happens when the only action you get for five years is with strangers or dickheads Keith doesn't want to think about. 

Never someone who is genuine. Who makes Keith's chest tighten dangerously. Who's as important as Lance. 

As he holds the package, tapping it into his palm and staying away from Lance— who he can feel watching him from behind— the guilt starts to take over. 

He no longer has the blockade. He's learnt to block out the hate he used to hold because of the accident. Because he was a survivor who got off with only a few scars when his brother became an amputee and his parents died. Therapy taught him how to block out the self hate and teach himself that he wasn't at fault. 

But he's never addressed the situation with Lance. 

Keith thinks Shiro is right. Coming here will be a way for Keith to seek closure. To forgive himself over Lance and then maybe being in love with him will be easier. Even if it's never reciprocated (despite seeming as if it is), he'd stop hating himself about it. 

He takes a deep breath. Holds it for a few seconds before letting it out through his nose. Calms him down and lets him take control. Without it, negative thoughts get through. 

_You can't do this to Lance. To yourself. You have no place loving Lance. No right. You pushed him away. You can't just come back after five years and expect everything to be the same. It's too easy. It's too good. Why would the universe now decide to throw you both together? You think you deserve that—?_

He takes another deep breath. Feels as he blocks them away. And blocking them is the first step to defeating them for good, so he relaxes. Let's himself turn back to Lance with a smile, that honestly, isn't forced. 

Because therapy has taught Keith to be better, or he wouldn't be here. All the times he was referred back, they were worth it. Every penny and every hour, because it's built him up stronger. 

He'll always be someone who is closed off. Quiet. That's just him. Always has been, but now, he's starting to become the person who is opening up to the people he had shut out after the accident. They didn't do anything wrong, afterall.

——————————

It's a while after they're back at the house that Keith is really getting somewhere with fixing up Lance's truck. He takes a deep breath, wiping his forehead of the sweat that's gathered in the heat. 

Lance holds a water bottle against his cheek, and Keith almost _moans_ at the relief of something cold. He takes it immediately. Guzzles down half of the water, delights in the cold running down his dry throat. The weather really is getting too hot. It's not normal heat. It's humidity from the moisture in the air, leaving a sheen of sweat over his whole body. 

He uses a good amount of the rest of his water bottle to wash his face of the sweat, eyes closed so he doesn't see the way Lance freezes when he pulls the bottom of his shirt up to wipe his face. Eyes wide as he watches the whole thing like it's a fucking _strip show_. Doesn't notice him swallow thickly as he covers his cheeks to fight off the heat growing on them. 

Except when he does. 

He turns, noticing Lance's fleeting looks between his fingers. 

"Uh… You okay, Lance?" 

He nods repetitively. "Mhm. Just…" He searches for an excuse. "Just looking at your tattoo. I'm curious about it." Keith turns, twisting his body to see the back of his shirt had risen up with the rest of his shirt, showing the red ink that peeks out. "I saw it on our first day, but I never thought to ask." Lance adds, finally looking up properly. 

"Oh," Keith says dumbly before stripping off his shirt and Lance has to try not to squeak. 

When Keith turns to look at his back again, he sees the tattoo. One he sometimes forgets is there, until he catches sight of it in a mirror or someone points it out: It's a lion, a scatter of flowers surrounding it as it roars on the edge of a cliff. All in red ink. It covers the majority of his back, dipping to the curves of his body. 

Keith hears Lance steps forward. Can feel how his eyes follow the lines of the ink. Knows his hand hovering hesitantly between himself and Keith, fingers curling and uncurling with the urge to touch. 

"I got it a year ago," Keith says, twirling the dark-grey t-shirt in his hand. "I dealt with… A Lot. And it was kinda a contribution to my strength, as well as referring to my mom's favourite flowers and—"

"Your parent's first meeting," Lance says for him, and Keith looks over his shoulder. 

"You remember that?"

"That safari trip," Lance offers as confirmation. "She crashed her car as she was saving a cub from a hunter shot. And then your dad saved them both." Keith smiles as he wipes his oil covered face with the shirt. It's dirty anyway, doesn't matter. "I still think Yorak is a weird name for a lion cub."

"At least it wasn't me they called that name."

"Yeah, I like Keith a lot better." A beat of silence, before: "Even if it makes it obvious you're a cowboy."

"I'm not a cowboy!" Keith argues with a laugh, and Lance laughs back. "Just because my dad's name was Texas doesn't mean I'm _from there_." He crosses his arms. 

"Sure, sure," He says, before leaning forward to whisper a, " _Your lie got more twists than a pretzel factory._ " in an impression _so bad_ that it's an insult to people who are _actually_ from Texas. 

"Lan—" he's cut off with a hitch of his breath when Lance finally allows himself to touch Keith's back and trace the lines of the ink. Sighs at the feeling of Lance's soft, nimble fingers dancing over his skin. 

It's a quiet moment where Lance just trails the lines, other hand holding Keith's hip. He breaths in a steadying breath, eyes fluttering closed.

It's when Lance's hand brushes over his ribs, running over what Keith had hidden with the red ink. It may not be visible, but it will never be flat, and Keith finches away.

"Don't tickle me," He says as an excuse, pulling away to face Lance so he can't go back to touching the scars. 

There's a moment where Keith thinks Lance's gaze drops to his thigh, and he feels his heart drop all over again at the thought that Lance might have seen that day at the beach, and his back is the confirmation. That Keith's assumptions at the bar could have been correct about Lance knowing. Letting Lance put suncream on him them few weeks ago was a risk itself— 

—But then he's looking back up like nothing happened, and Keith forces the thoughts to disappear. 

"And that one?" Lance points to Keith's bare chest. "When did you get that tattoo?" Keith follows where Lance is pointing, looking down to his left peck. There's a tattoo that matches the small one on Lance's ring finger. 

"That one…" before explaining, he brings his left hand up to rest against his chest, next to the sun tattoo. "The one on my finger was a sign of love." He catches Lance's flinch, but doesn't mention it. "A love that was strong and beautiful and meant everything to me." 

"So the sun is a symbol of my self love. The person who wears the sun tattoo is who I love…" He glances at Lance, running his finger over his own tattoo. He's being reckless with saying all this. Risking Lance finding out. But part of him just wants Lance to know. To get it over with. Even if it terrifies another part of him. 

"I chose that the person I love would be me. I chose to love myself after so long hating everything about myself, that it led to—" He cuts himself off, lips pursed tight. 

His eyes widen at the thought he lost himself in his explanation so much that he almost told Lance about his fucking attempt. 

"It's getting late," Lance starts. Keith can see he recognises when the conversation is over, and thanks that he knows him so well. "Are you almost done? I don't want you losing sleep over this."

Keith waves him off. "It's good. I stay up late, anyway." Lance nods as if he knows. "I have trouble sleeping." He adds.

"Me neither," Lance offers, hands clasping and unclasping together. He's nervous, and Keith doesn't know why… "I think the best sleep I had was actually with you the other day," He laughs awkwardly. 

Keith looks up at Lance, smirking as he says, "I don't know what you're talking about." and leaning back against the bumper of the truck, arms leaning back. 

Lance's eyes drop appreciatively to Keith's abs, before rising as he furrows his brows at Keith. "Uh— Of course you do. We bonded." When Keith tilts his head like he's confused, Lance raises his arms, defeated. "You cradled me in your arms!" 

"Nope. Don't remember. Didn't happen." Keith smirks as he shakes his head. 

Lance pouts, moving to lean next to Keith, head hung back and looking up at the still blue sky. Keith can see Lance's repetitive pursing of his lips in his peripheral. He waits, tipping the remainder of his water into his mouth as Lance bites his nail thoughtfully. 

"Keith?" He answers with a hum as he drinks his water. "Maybe, I don't know. We could… sleep together." Keith chokes, spitting out the water, coughing and trying to clear his throat. It has Lance backtracking, and Keith doesn't like that. "I just mean to help us sleep. You totally don't have to—"

"It's okay," Keith answers, holding his hand over his shoulder reassuringly as he's still doubled over. "If it helps you sleep, I'd be glad to." He looks up and smiles. 

Lance worries his lip nervously, anxious in the way Keith realises is more shy than anything. Then he's softening, clasping his hand on top of Keith's and giving it a small squeeze as he breathes, "Okay."

It's so fond and soft, squeezing Keith's chest impossibly tight. 

———————————

**Then**

December - Senior Year 

They all gather in the living room, holding their drinks (secret alcohol that Krolia is none the wiser about) and clasping hands, waiting excitedly for the clock to strike.

Keith doesn't see waiting for the clock to strike as something entirely important or exciting. He understands why people like the tradition and the thrill of a new year, he just doesn't get all jumpy waiting for it. 

But for Lance, it's different. As he stands with his arm around Keith's waist, drink in his free hand. He gets more and more excited with every second, jumping on the spot. It makes Keith smile as he looks up at him, more concentrated in his boyfriend than the countdown on the television. 

Lance is quite the opposite to Keith. They're fire and ice. Hot and cold. Red and Blue. But Lance brings so much to Keith's life that it's insane. He doesn't think it should be legal to be this weak to another human. 

When there's five seconds left on the clock, Lance turns to Keith, smiling bright. "Ready for a good year, Cariño?" The pet name rolls off of his tongue like he's said it millions of times, and Keith's sure he has. He never imagined he'd like pet names, but he likes this one. That's probably why it has stuck. 

"The best," Keith answers, pulling him down and connecting their lips as the clock strikes twelve. 

Lance pulls away slowly, whispering a small, "Happy New Year," against his lips before kissing him again. He feels Lance smile into it, and all Keith can think is that this is already a great start to the year. He can't wait until he can do this again with Lance. 

——————————

Future Keith curses himself for being so ignorant. 

———————————

**Now**

Lance stays out, lounging on a chair as Keith works, passing tools occasionally if Keith asks, but mostly just enjoying the view as Keith keeps his shirt off, watching how his muscles bend and tense as he leans to fix the truck. Keith sometimes catches Lance's lidded gaze, but doesn't pay it too much mind— Both trying to block it out, and too concentrated on fixing the car. 

They talk shit. A bunch of random stories that make them laugh until Keith has to pause from working, doubling over. Loves how good it feels to laugh with Lance. It's so easy and it falls from Keith accidentally most of the time. 

When Keith's finally closing up the hood of the car, the sun is just setting and there's an early scatter of stars covering the sky. 

Keith cleans off all the oil he can in the shower, the grimy stuff really liking to stick. When he steps out of the bathroom in his burgundy, short sleeved cotton shirt, usual plaid trousers and gloves, Lance is waiting for him in his own ensuite bathroom. 

He's applying a face mask, and when he catches sight of Keith's fond smile in the mirror, he brightens. 

"Keith! Do a face mask with me!" Keith grimaces. Face masks do leave his face feeling god damn awesome, having experience from his past with Lance. But when they're on it's uncomfortable and itchy and his hair sticks to it every time. 

But Lance is smiling so openly and excitedly that Keith can't say no. He's a weak, weak man and he can't even deny it.

He nods, moving into the bathroom that used to be his, leaning against the counter as Lance bubbles with glee. Lance taps the counter as he grabs a flannel and wets it under the hot water, coming to settle between Keith's legs when Keith's lifted himself to sit on the counter.

There's not much room between them, and Keith starts to feel warm with Lance's proximity—

"Keith, you abused your skin routine without me, didn't you." Okay, warmth gone, mostly. It's not even a question, it's a statement. Has Keith looking away, faking innocence, and that's enough of an answer for Lance. "I can tell. Your pores are atrocious."

"They hear you and they take offence," Keith huffs. It's muffled as Lance wipes the flannel over his face, squishing his cheeks with it and making Keith glare. So, obviously, he pulls at Keith's cheeks enough to make him look ridiculous, if the way Lance holds in his laugh, is enough to go on. 

"Good. Maybe it'll get you to look after your skin." Keith laughs as Lance scoops the weird, orange cream with his fingers and applies it to his forehead. He lets his eyes close, relaxing as Lance's fingers lay on the mask. Almost opens his eyes when Lance's fingers linger around his lips. 

Apart from the distant buzz of the bathroom light, and their breathing, there's a comfortable silence between them. It's intimate and warm and makes Keith's nerves settle. Has him holding Lance's hip to balance himself as he leans closer, barely even aware of it. 

When the mask is fully applied, Lance hops up onto the counter with Keith, where they talk more. Where Lance forces Keith to take selfies with him, pulling him in close with an arm slung around his waist. Time flies when he talks to Lance, the timer of Lance's phone interrupting one of their conversations. 

Keith could say that taking the mask off is nice because it gets rid of the itching, or because he gets to have Lance between his legs as he sits on the counter, and how he's able to do the same when he cleans Lance's face back. But that's not the part he likes most. No, it's definitely when Lance strokes his thumb against Keith's clean cheek and whispers a nearly inaudible, "There. Now you look even prettier." and pulls a sheepish smile from him. 

When they settle into Lance's bed, Keith's hit with the distinct scent of citrus and soap. A scent he just knows as Lance. Makes him sigh, nuzzling his face into the pillow. 

"Hey," Lance pulls Keith out of his little daze. "I bet them gloves are uncomfortable. Why don't you take them off?" 

Keith looks down at his leather clad hands, and then back up to Lance. He thinks for a moment. His choice to wear a short sleeved top to bed was because he doesn't have anything long except his hoodies, and he doesn't want to melt in his sleep. 

He usually doesn't have to hide his wrists when he sleeps, so he doesn't wear his gloves. He's alone, after all. But, it's not like they are bad. Not as bad as his legs, so there's at least that. 

He huffs before peeling the velcro at the bottom that secures the gloves back hesitantly, before pulling them off and bringing one arm to lay under the quilt, the other going under his pillow, supporting his head as he lays on his side. 

It's honestly a lot more comfortable, even if it does have him a little nervous. But he just has to remember, they're not obvious. It's not like Lance will get close enough in their sleep to ever see them, anyway.

Lance lays on his side, too, cheek slightly squished against his pillow. "Thank you for fixing my car," Lance whispers, as if he doesn't want to disturb the atmosphere around them. 

"No need to thank me," Keith breathes back, braving to reach his hand out and stroke Lance's cheek with his thumb, smiles when he notices Lance's eyes grow heavier from it. 

Lance turns his head to kiss Keith's hand, and Keith sighs. Runs his fingers through the back of Lance's hair, like he had the day on the sofa. Causes a small hum in the back of Lance's throat that makes Keith want to lean in and close the distance between their lips. 

Fuck, Keith loves him so much. Adores him to no end. 

Lance is getting sleepy now. Keith can tell, especially when he stifles a yawn. "Go to sleep, Lance." Keith scratches his scalp, watching as Lance's eyes flutter closed in the dark. 

But then they're blinking open. A struggle, but they do. "I want to talk with you more, though." Lance drapes his arm over Keith's waist, a firm weight on him. Pulls him until their foreheads bump and their chests are flush. Keith easily wraps his legs with Lance's. 

It's a soft, innocent atmosphere around them. Them holding each other. It isn't sexual. They're just… holding one another. Relishing in the feel of it. 

"We'll talk tomorrow. What do you want to do?" Keith says as he rubs his nose against Lance's groggily. He didn't realise he'd get this tired this quickly. Barely notices how touch he's being. 

But Lance returns it. "I wanna take you out somewhere… A present for fixing Blue." Lance sound like he's barely hanging onto consciousness, and Keith kisses his forehead. 

"Okay. You can take me to your favourite place." 

"Yay," Lance whispers, the end of it falling almost inaudible as sleep takes over him. 

They're both far too sleep-ridden to realise the intimacy of it all. Their half asleep minds are just moving on instinct, holding one another as close as they can. Doing what they really want.

Their noses brush, breathing each other in. They hold one another so tight there's no part of them that isn't touching. Lance's face in Keith's hair and Keith in the crook of Lance's neck. 

It's warm and comfortable, and it has Keith relaxing, feeling sleep really taking a hold. Doesn't notice how his lips graze Lance's neck just slightly, so gently, before he's nuzzling his nose there again. 

It isn't too long before their breathing evens out, sleep fully taken over, still clinging to one another. It's fine. This is only a taste to settle the desire Keith has for Lance. A small indulgence before he steps away. Because he can't keep Lance. He's just… can't. Doesn't feel like he's allowed this. Something so warm and happy and right. 

But Keith should know, he said so himself: Lance is like a drug. And even one hit can get you hooked. Opens the gates to a full blown addiction, and it's hard to deny an addiction once it's settled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr Kogane, I diagnose you with: *Gay.* 
> 
> Happy Holidays everyone! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! See you in the next update, which I'm actually almost finshed! I love the next chapter very, very much. It's fun and lively and I just had lots of fun writing my boys falling more in love. 
> 
> Any feedback and support is so appreciated, thank you! 
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Li6ByFTwMiqG1dc9vf8nB?si=dQJAlkrvRweHm4jrIi0Gng)   
>  [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/tea_addict264?r=nametag)


	7. RAIN - Ben Platt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's in the rain that feelings are revealed, washing away Keith and Lance's doubts or worries of loving one another...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Klancemas, y'all :) 
> 
> I like to call this the ✨Dance Chapter✨ There's dancing. A lot of it. There's even dancing in the next chapter. 
> 
> Side note: I don't know Spanish. Because of this, the dialogue I want in Spanish is gonna be like ("this") but written in English, of course. If anyone wants to tell me the translation, I'll be forever in your favour. Okay, diolch.
> 
> Song used in this chapter: 
> 
> Rewrite The Stars - Zac Efron and Zendaya. 
> 
> La Cintura - Alvaro Soler. 
> 
> Little tip: At the second "Now" I used the songs 'RAIN' and 'Into The Storm' for inspiration while writing the scene. I think it just makes it even more… powerful. 
> 
> Note: Sexual Tension throughout this whoooooole chapter (like that's new). And mildly implied sexual content at the very end. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_~I know we’ve both been afraid_

_But we can’t run from the wind and the thunder_

_When we’re dancing under the rain, the rain, the rain~_

-Ben Platt-

**Then**

February - Senior Year

"Lance, I don't dance," Keith grumbles, arms crossed over his chest as he sits on his bed. Lance has started playing music from his phone through Keith's speakers, and he knows Lance is going to make him dance. He's been with the boy for seven months. He knows. 

" _~I know you can't~!_ " Lance starts to sing, uncrossing Keith's arms as he intertwines their fingers, already dancing on the spot. 

"No musical songs," Keith interrupts, but he can't help the smile that creeps across his face. 

" _No musical songs,_ " Lance mimics, making a face. 

Keith tries to pull Lance into his lap, but the taller boy doesn't budge, instead pulling Keith off of the bed and wrapping his hands around his shoulders. 

"Come on, Keithy-boy." Lance swings their arms, trying to convince Keith with his pleading eyes. When Keith just turns his head to the side, averting their gaze, Lance tries again with a taunting, " _Scared_?" 

Keith knows Lance is baiting him. Always turning everything into a challenge that he knows Keith can't back down from. He's been doing it before they were even together, so there's no denying Lance what he wants. Keith sighs, wrapping his arms around Lance's waist and pressing their foreheads together.

They slowly start to dance to one of the many love songs that plays from Lance's phone, Keith stepping on Lance's toes way too many times. "Why are we doing this again?" Keith asks. 

"Luis and Lisa are _finally_ getting married, and you're going to be my date." They move around in the shape of a box, Keith trying his best not to stumble. "I need to make sure you're at least _half-_ decent." 

Keith rolls his eyes. " _Wow_ , thanks."

Keith takes to concentrating on their feet, not wanting to keep trodding on Lance's toes. But then Lance is guiding his chin up, making him look at him. "Concentrate on me." Lance smiles, and Keith softens, tilting his head to the side. 

Lance begins to hum along to the song playing and pulls Keith closer. Keith rests his head in the crook of Lance's shoulder and Lance kisses Keith's hair. As they sway, Lance leans his head close to Keith's ear to sing the lyrics. 

_~What if we rewrite the stars?_ _Say you were made to be mine_ _Nothing could keep us apart_ _You'd be the one I was meant to find~_

When Keith looks up to him with a lovestruck smile, Lance pulls them into a dip, making Keith _squawk_. Lance holds them in the dip for a few seconds before leaning down to kiss Keith deeply. 

Keith wraps his arms around Lance's shoulders, kissing back. As soon as he starts to smile giddily into the kiss, Lance starts kissing his cheeks, chin, forehead, eyelid, nose. Making Keith laugh and try to push away. 

It's only after a big overtop and loud kiss on the mouth, that Lance pulls them back up straight. 

"You're such an idiot," Keith chuckles breathlessly as he bumps his forehead with Lance's, eyes squinting as he hugs Lance tighter. 

"I'm _your_ idiot." Keith pushes him away and calls him _cheesy_. 

———————————

**Now**

Keith was almost sure Lance would forget about his plan to take Lance to his favourite place, he knows _he_ barely remembered it, too far gone in his sleep. 

But Lance doesn't forget. He remembers, and Keith doesn't even know where they're going— Lance having kept it a secret— until they're walking up to the open doors of a restaurant further into the day. 

It's different from the bar Lance took them to the night Keith realised his feelings. Most of it is outside— Tables and chairs all scattered around; Some out in the open, under the stars, whereas some are under a wooden veranda with a collection of colourful flowers and vines wrapping around the wood. 

Most of the table and chairs surround the dance floor off to the side, and Keith realises _exactly_ why this is Lance's favourite restaurant. Of course, it is, if he gets to dance _and_ eat. They're some of Lance's favourite things to do. 

It's popular. That's obvious enough. Multiple people seated at tables, most of them being couples. Sets a small flame in Keith's chest when he thinks about the night before, and then waking up in bed with Lance's chest flush to his back, arms around his middle and holding his hands. They didn't even _try_ to not touch in their sleep, all over each other. And they were the same in the morning, happily holding onto each other until Keith deemed it too late to sleep in, when his guilt started setting in. 

It's that guilt that gets him telling himself that it's simply friends helping friends sleep. Forces the flame to go out. It's not good to think about that. Step out of that mindset, Keith. 

"It's a menu, Keith, not an exam." Keith's mind focuses again, and he realises he's glaring at the menu in his hand. "Does yours not have English translations or something?" Lance asks. 

"Oh, uh…" Keith trips over his words before he clears his throat, finding his composure again. "Sorry. They do, just not sure what's best," Keith says. It's not a complete lie. Everything looks good, but his mind trailed off. 

"Oh. Well," Lance moves from his chair, coming to Keith's side to look over Keith's shoulder at the menu. It's an entirely unnecessary move, as Lance could easily just read his _own_ menu. But Keith won't stop him. Enjoys the heat that comes from Lance. In a… _only-friends_ way. "I think this one is good." He points to one of the dishes. "I had it and all I could think was that you would love it."

"Thinking about me, are you?" Keith jokes, leaning against Lance's shoulder to look at him side-along. 

"Shut up," Lance laughs, pushing Keith slightly and moving back to his own seat. Keith tries not to miss him. 

When their drinks come, Jack and Coke for Keith and Pina Colada for Lance, any leftover awkwardness that may still linger after their time together dissipates. Leaves them with a small buzz under their skin. Brings them to not speak about how Lance's leg strokes along Keith's in long, slow strokes, under the table. Keith doesn't ignore it, just doesn't mention it. And Lance seems perfectly content not saying anything about it, either. 

"So," Lance says after a sip of his drink. "What you got planned after Varadero?"

He likes that he doesn't fill with dread at the thought of mentioning his music to Lance anymore. 

"I'm actually planning on pursuing music, like I had when we were younger." Lance's leg pauses, causing Keith to look up. He sees Lance's shocked face. It's not obvious, but Keith can see it. 

"You got into Marmora?"

"I'm waiting for the confirmation of my audition. That's why I came here. To get over my music block."

Lance smiles softly. "I'm happy you came here."

Keith looks away sheepishly, nodding his head as he quietly says, "Me, too." before taking another swig of his drink. "Well, you told me about wanting to be a teacher. But you didn't tell me _why_." He changes the subject, unable to look at Lance with that soft look on his face. 

Lance's eyes sparkle as he answers, and Keith leans his chin into his hand as he listens. "Well, I love people. I'm good at it, and when it's something I know well, people listen." Keith nods, smiling. Lance shrugs, like the answer is obvious. "I want to be a teacher students can trust. Not have to go through what I did in school."

"Bad professor?" Keith asks. 

"The _worst_. One mess up and he'd go off on me." He takes another sip of his drink before he's speaking, hand gestures everywhere. "So, I'm going to get that teaching qualification and prove to him that I _can_ do it." He jutts his thumb into his chest, smiling proud.

" _Professor McClain,_ " Keith tries out the name, smiling at the sound. He likes it. "Suits you."

"Thank you." He notices the small blush in Lance's cheeks from across the table. 

Their food turns up soon after, and Lance looks in love with the food. Taking one bite and humming in approval, doing a little happy dance in his chair. It's something Lance has always done when he's happy about his food. Keith's always thought is was fucking adorable. 

The food's great. It honestly rivals Hunk's cooking, and that's saying _something_. 

Once Keith and Lance have finished their food, they enjoy the music as they talk and allow themselves to relax, until Lance can't even sit still, dancing in his chair to the catchy, Spanish songs. 

Keith laughs. "You wanna go dance?" He asks, and Lance brightens, excitement vibrating from him. 

" _Really_?" 

"If you want to, totally."

Lance doesn't say anything more, just rises from his chair and pulls Keith from his and onto the dance floor. 

They just sway and act like idiots for the most part. Just two boys having fun like the rest of the people around them on the dance floor. Lance looks like he's enjoying himself, and Keith wouldn't want it any other way. But as the songs continue to change, they find themselves moving in closer, arms wrapped around one another. 

_~Destaca cuando anda_ _Va causando impresión~_

When the familiar lyrics start to play, Lance perks up, moving his arms from around Keith's shoulders to his waist. Keith recognises the music and the beat, but can't quite remember exactly what it is… 

"What song is this?" 

"Don't worry about it. Just know that it suits you _perfectly_ ," Lance answers over the music. Keith is a little confused, but he carries on nonetheless, dancing in Lance's hold to the lyrics. 

_~Me acerco a ti_ _Bailemos, juguemos_ _Acércate~_

He follows Lance's lead as a number of other people join the dance floor. Lance brings him closer, and Keith tells himself it's just so they can fit without hitting anyone else. Even if that's a lie. 

When the beat starts to pick up, Keith's eyes widen, looking up and glaring at Lance as he knows _exactly_ what song this is. Has danced to this _exact_ song with Lance before. 

_~Porque mi cintura_ _Necesita tu ayuda_ _No lo tengo en las venas_ _Y no la puedo controlar~_

"You said this was _my_ song?" Lance smiles mischievously as a response, not stopping his and Keith's moving. "You calling me a bad dancer?" Keith asks, teasing lilt to his voice. 

Lance shrugs, sliding his hands from Keith's waist to his hips, leaning forward to whisper a teasing, "Why don't you prove me wrong?" 

It's a challenge. Their language. Makes the buzz under Keith's skin from the alcohol burn. Turns his playful glare into a smirk. Makes him let himself free to music. To Lance. 

_~Y bajando, bajando eh_ _Olvidando, olvidando_ _Que estoy bailando, bailando eh_ _Y así hasta el amanecer~_

His body rolls more. He'll never be as fluid as Lance, or as good in general. But he lets himself have fun. Doesn't overthink, and his body loosens and the moves come easier. Because Lance is watching him appreciatively through heavy eyes, and makes Keith show off just a little more. Teases Lance as he guides him. 

Because they're just dancing, Keith tells himself. This isn't anything more than dancing, so he can do what he likes. Can pull Lance closer, looking up at him through hooded eyes. Relishing in the way it gets Lance's eyes to widen a little, tripping over his bravado for a moment. His Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. 

_~Porque mi cintura_ _Necesita tu ayuda_ _No lo tengo en las venas_ _Voy a aprender a controlar_ _Mi cintura, cintura_ _(Mi cintura, cintura)~~_

Lance spins Keith around so his back is flush to Lance's chest, tightening his grip on Keith's hips as the song continues. He moves his hips with the song, following Lance's guidance with his hands. It's not controlling. It's grounding. Sets a heat in Keith as they dance. Has Keith pushing back against Lance without thinking, and Lance happily working with him. 

Lance leans his head close to Keith's ear. Sings the lyrics into Keith's ear, voice pitched low and hot breath fanning across the shell of Keith's ear. He gulps, starting to feel far too hot… 

_~"Cuando bailo contigo_ _Tu cuerpo me da calor_ _Besito a besito_ _Mi fruta de la pasión"~_

Keith doesn't understand it, but it gets that burn in the pit of his stomach. He turns around and brings their foreheads together, breath heavy. Lance's hands easily find their position again, but are much more confident— Lance's thumb teasing Keith's hip the way he knows gets Keith having to hold in a whine. 

They're just dancing. Keith tells himself again.

_~Y bajando, bajando_ _Olvidando, olvidando_ _Que estoy bailando bailando_ _Y así hasta el amanecer~_

They're just dancing, he repeats as they both lean in. As their noses brush. Keith lets his eyes close and he knows Lance is holding his breath as their lips touch just slightly. 

_~Ven hacia mí, ven hacia mí_ _Como las olas del mar_ _Ven hacia mí, ya no puedo parar~_

They're just dancing. They're just dancing. They're just… 

_~Porque mi cintura_ _Necesita tu ayuda_ _No lo tengo en las venas_ _Voy a aprender a controlar~_

This _is_ just dancing. Isn't it? 

_~Mi cintura, cintura~_

The music fades out. The sound of chatter, clinking glasses and cutlery on plates occupying the sound around them as the transition between songs leaves a few moments of silence from the speakers. 

And just like that, the spell is broken. 

_This isn't dancing…_

Keith's eyes shoot open and he steps back before their lips can fully meet. Lance’s eyes flutter open as Keith leaves his hold and stares at him from across the foot distance Keith has put between them. 

Lance has a flush dusted across his face, lips caught between his teeth and eyebrows furrowed. He looks hurt, confused. Just as flustered as Keith. All Keith wants to do is smooth out his features. Close the distance he has put there and hold him close. Hold his face between his hands and kiss him. Tell him everything. How he loves him. Always will and always has. 

But… He lets his head drop to look at his feet and fidgeting hands, heart aching in his chest and the threat of frustrated tears behind his eyes. He begins to walk, muttering a small, "That's enough dancing," before he's making his way off of the dance floor and towards their table, picking up his things. 

Lance recognises that the night's over, following Keith to the table and collecting all his things before they're paying the bill, saying thank you and making their way out of the restaurant. 

Keith walks with his arms crossed, back hunched. Lance is a few steps behind. He can hear his footfalls, more sluggish than usual. 

It will soon be dark. A warm, soft breeze rushing past them. Humid. He feels off. A new type of off-kilter. Lance had gone to kiss him. Or maybe Keith just thought that and instead forced himself on Lance. No, that just… Doesn't make any sense. Keith knows what's going on between them. 

Knows denying it is useless and he's just lying to himself. 

He pushes away the feeling in his stomach and starts walking in a different direction from the car. 

"Keith?" Lance asks. 

Keith doesn't answer. He keeps walking, and when he hears Lance's steps get faster, his do, too. Until he's running away, rounding a corner, and another, and another, and another. 

The acidic smell and the uncomfortable heat in the air is irritating Keith even more. He looks up at the darkening sky as he runs. It's full of oranges, reds and some purples as the sun sets further. 

The colour of the sky doesn't just mean it's getting later. 

_It's going to rain soon._

———————————

**Then**

February- Senior Year 

A while after Keith and Lance have deemed themselves danced out, they lay on Keith's bed in their boxers, hands tangling together. It begins to rain, the sound of tapping on the glass filling the room. Lance sits up to look at the heavy pelts of water against the glass, and Keith comes up behind him, leaning his head on his shoulder and wrapping them up in the blanket as they watch the rain. 

"I've heard that if you choose a raindrop and it reaches the bottom first, you get to make a wish," Lance whispers into the room. He doesn't know why he's whispering, but he guesses he doesn't want to disturb the calm and serene atmosphere around them. 

"That is _so_ not a thing," Keith chuckles as he hooks his chin over Lance's shoulder to watch the water glide down the glass. 

Lance pushes against him softly. "Is too. Come on, try it with me?"

"...Alright." Keith sighs, too weak to Lance to say no to something so simple. They both choose their own water droplets and they cuddle closer to one another as they do so, Keith's chest flush to Lance's back. Their water droplets slide down the glass, catching more droplets as they go. 

Keith's chosen droplet reaches the bottom first, and Lance pouts as Keith laughs into his neck before leaving a quick, consoling peck on his cheek. 

"What were you gonna wish for?" Keith asks. 

"Warmer weather?" 

Keith raises a brow, looking at Lance now. "Can't you just wait until Summer?"

"You know I'm not that patient," Lance says, and Keith laughs, wrapping his arms tighter around him and going back to nuzzling into Lance's shoulder. "And like you could do better."

"Mhm," Keith hums, distracted as he kisses along Lance's freckled shoulders and neck. It's probably one of his favourite things about Lance. They're so pretty, and Lance seems happy whenever Keith pays close attention to them. 

Lance leans into the touch, threading his and Keith's fingers together. "What'd you wish for?"

"You sure you want to know? It might not come true."

"Come _onnnnnn_ ," Lance whines, leaning further into Keith. 

"Alright." Keith kisses Lance's neck once more before he reaches up to his ear, whispering a soft, "I wished for forever." When Lance turns to look at him over his shoulder, Keith softens. "That we can be together always, and that you won't leave."

Lance sighs happily, eyes fluttering closed. "Okay, maybe you can do better." Before adding: " _Sap_."

"You told me to tell you!" Keith raises his voice as he pouts, almost breaking their settled mood. 

Lance laughs, tightening Keith's hold around his body. "I know. And don't worry. I'll never leave." He turns his head to kiss Keith's hair. "I promise," he says, lifting his pinky. Keith links his with Lance's, smiling. "Forever with you sounds amazing."

Keith scoffs playfully. "Now who's the sap?" 

"Still you— _hey!_ " Lance yelps as Keith pushes him from the bed, Lance landing in a pile of sheets as he takes the quilt with him. 

"What was that bang?" Krolia calls from downstairs. 

"Nothing, mom! Lance just fell!" Keith calls back, smirking down at Lance as he gapes. 

"Keith is lying! He's pushed me, Krolia!" Lance shouts, but it's hardly understandable through his laughter. 

Keith jumps down on top of him, shutting him up with a kiss. Lance leans in easily, laughing as he wraps his legs up and around Keith's waist. 

———————————

**Now**

Keith carries on running and running until he reaches an open square, slipping into one of the alleyways and lying his back against the wall as he catches his breath, chest rising and falling in heavy breaths. Lance catches up to him, almost flying around the corner before Keith turns away and starts walking further down the alleyway. 

Lance speed walks after him. "Keith, it's raining. Just come back. We can talk about it somewhere _dry_ ," He says, defeated. 

Keith grits his teeth. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Keith, I know I'm not the only one who realised what was gonna happen back there." 

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Seriously? You're just going to deny it?" Lance grabs Keith's wrist, stopping Keith from running away any further. "Why are you being so confusing?" 

"What do you mean? I'm not confusing!" 

"One minute you're my friend. Then you're distant and then next you're going in to kiss me—" 

"I wasn't—" 

" _—and then you're running away from the situation!_ Keith, talk to me..." Keith tries to ignore him, breathing frustratedly through his nose. "You pushed me away once, don't do it again," He adds, much more hurt and small, and Keith flinches.

But Lance isn't done. "I understand. I find this confusing, too—" 

Keith turns around, facing Lance to glare at him as he barks, "I'm not confused!" 

They stare at each other as the rain pours over them, both stubborn and stern. Keith knows he's lying to himself. Of course, he is. Always in denial lately, and he knows it's obvious to Lance. But he's not going to give in. He's scared and doesn't feel he's allowed to feel this way and it just makes him want to scream. 

Keith closes his eyes, letting his head hang between his hunched shoulders as he admits, "I don't know if I can stay here, Lance." 

Lance softens, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "Great. We can go back to the house. Have a talk out of the rain—"

"I mean in Varadero," Keith interrupts, hugging his free arm around himself, exasperated. 

Lance's hold on Keith's hand loosens with his shock for a moment, before he's intertwining their fingers, stroking his thumb over Keith's knuckles. "Wha—" His voice cracks. "Why not? How is that connected? What, do you suddenly hate me _so much_ that—?" 

Keith doesn't let him finish that sentence. "I _wish_ I hated you," Lance freezes, cutting off his rambling. "I _really_ wish I hated you. But I _can't_." He steps in close to Lance, jaw clenched and eyes rigid and cold. 

"What do you mean?" Lance asks, voice quiet and broken. 

Keith's anger diffuses, vulnerabilities on full front to Lance. His eyes slip down to Lance's lips, and he squeezes the hand Lance isn't holding into a fist before averting his gaze to the multiple ripples of a puddle as the rain falls. "You wouldn't understand."

He's lying. He knows Lance feels what Keith does. Knows that they both want to be with the other. It's entirely obvious. Has been throughout the whole trip, not just after the almost-kiss in the restaurant. 

Lance squeezes his hand reassuringly. "Just—" He makes a pained sound that breaks Keith's heart. " _—try…_ "

There's a small pause, where Keith let's his head hang, eyes going dark. All he can really concentrate is the warmth of his hand in Lance's. "If I hated you, everything would be so much simpler." He sounds so small, barely loud enough to be heard over the rain if Lance was any further away. "I wouldn't be going through this _mess_." He almost cries the word ' _mess_ ' as he looks up at Lance.

Because it _is_ all a mess. His feelings. The constant tension. How many times Keith has wanted to kiss Lance, and the same the other way around. How Keith can't just let himself be happy. Be loved. To love the boy that he fucking hurt and left and made feel like shit. The boy he saw had moved on when he tried to go back, breaking his heart even though he had no right to be hurt because it was his fault. Everything is his fault. 

He's a self-sabotaging idiot who doesn't know what's good for himself. 

He's the only one standing in the way of him and Lance. Knows it and still doesn't budge. Still doesn't jump over the last remaining hurdle of his walls that have caved. He's so stubborn, and he knows it. He could change this all, and he knows it. 

But he doesn't. He doesn't because even if him and Lance are happy, who's to say it lasts? Who's to say Keith doesn't lose him again? Loses him forever like his parents. Who the fuck is to say that everything will be okay?

He looks as broken as he feels. They both do. Keith's long hair is sticking to his face uncomfortably, clothes soaked through and nose cold from the rain. Lance's shorter hair falls slightly into his eyes, and it just adds to how fucking upset he looks. Keith can't take it. 

Knows he can change it all, but he doesn't. "Just leave me alone, Lance," He says, clipped. 

But Lance knows, too. "No, I won't." Keeps trying to help them. Being reasonable. But Keith clenches his jaw all the same. Because, seriously, it's now that Lance chooses to be stubborn again? Can't just let Keith mope like the dick head he is. Won't let him go on denying the feeling. His heart beats in his chest, rain pouring heavily down on them now. "I won't run away."

Keith's angry, agitated and is so, so confused. He doesn't know anything. He wants to do one thing, but then feels he has to do the other. His heart and mind are torn. And Lance? Always follows his heart. He's strong that way. But Keith isn't like that. He's fucking weak. Lance can't expect him to be like him. It doesn't work that way. 

Keith sighs, frustrated, free hand tugging at the hair that's falling into his face. "What do you _want_ from me, Lance!?" 

"I want _you_!" Lance calls back instantly, no hesitation whatsoever. He still won't let Keith walk away. "Isn't it obvious! I want _you_ and you want _me_! Let yourself feel it, Keith!"

There's a silence for a few moments. The rain has fully soaked through their clothes now and Keith is starting to get cold, but he's frozen from Lance's words. Saying the words out loud is different to just mentally recognising them. His jaw clenches, and he's sure there would be half moon indents in his palms if it weren't for the gloves he's wearing. 

The fluorescent lights of bar signs shine down on them, colouring Keith and Lance in the mixtures of red and blue, a slight purple where the light clashes. It reflects off of all the wet surfaces, and it's making Keith feel disoriented with all the bright colours. 

So he almost doesn't catch Lance's next words. 

"Don't you see? I want _you_ , Keith," He mutters, the water splashing at his feet. "And I know you want me, too." The pitch of his voice raises at the end. Keith looks off to the side, as if it will block out his words. 

He keeps his mouth shut. Holding in what he's aching to tell Lance. He can feel it on the tip of his tongue—

"Keith? Talk to me," He says. "Why can't you just talk to me?" he sounds like he's going to cry, and Keith squeezes his eyes shut.

His nerves are on edge. The feeling under his skin aching. It isn't anxiety, no. He's never anxious around Lance. But he's confused. And he's angry. So when the squeeze of his free fist starts to hurt his hand, he _snaps_. 

_"I love you_!" He confesses. Lets the words out because there's no point in hiding it anymore. Futile, as it's so blatant and transparent. "I love you _so fucking much_ that it scares me and I don't know what to do with myself!" Lance freezes, staring at him before Keith is finally pulling his hand out of Lance's grasp and walking away again. 

But then Lance comes out of his stupor, grabbing Keith by his shoulder. Turning him around to face him. And at the small sound of his name on Lance's lips, Keith is stepping in and closing the distance between them the second he sees those storm blue eyes reflecting the lights of the signs. 

It takes Lance by shock for only a second, before he's kissing back. 

It's only chaste. It happens and then it's over, Keith pulling back. It doesn't process in his mind for a while. Mind fogged with his anger and his fucking overflowing feelings. They stand there for a second, that honestly feels like an hour. The only sounds around being the pouring rain hitting the brick floor; the cheers of people in a pub, and the distant beep of a car horn. 

But when Keith's hit with the realisation, his eyes widen and hands fly up to cover his mouth in shock—

—And that's when Lance takes a hold of his hand; guiding it over his shoulder and around the back of his neck. Pulls Keith even closer by his tie and whispers an, "I love you, too." before closing the gap again.

He licks into Keith's mouth, and Keith's mind is running rampid. But… _Fuck_ , it feels good. It's everything Keith has wanted for ages. It's enough for Keith to let his eyes close and ease into it. Hums into it. Wraps both arms around Lance's shoulders and relishes in the feeling of Lance's arms on the bottom of his back, pulling them flush together. 

The rain is cold on his hot skin, and Keith doesn't want to say their surroundings become nothing to them, like the clichés— But they do. The fog of his brain clears. All his mind is concentrated on is the feeling of Lance on him, and the tears that fall from his eyes, washing away with the rain.

He feels Lance wipe the tears, nonetheless, and a small chuckles leaves Keith as they rest. They both sigh at the feeling of being so close again, and their breathing is laboured as they lean against each other. 

Lance laughs, and it comes out airy and fans across Keith's lip. His arms wrap around Keith's waist as he whispers, "I love you."

Keith's chest feels warm, and he can't help the extra tears that fall from his eyes. He's just… Lance _loves_ him. Loves him _back_. Like, he _knew_ , but now he _knows-knows_. 

"I know." Lance laughs, and Keith does, too. But then the silence brings back the fog. The over thinking. The, "But, Lance…" as he steps in closer and bumps their foreheads together. Bites his lips as he forces out the, "I don't know if we can do this."

Lance's excitement from the kiss deflates, a pained look coming across his face. "What do you mean?" He says it so quietly and unsure, and Keith has to squeeze his eyes shut to hold back the rest of his tears. 

"I hurt you, Lance." He all but sobs. 

Lance pulls back, staring down at Keith with a furrow in his brows. "Are you seriously still stuck in the past?" Lance asks, making Keith look up at him, expression pinched. Lance's eyes hold a fondness that's so sad as he says, "I forgave you, Keith. A long, _long_ time ago."

"But you shouldn't—"

Lance cups Keith's face, bringing their faces closer again. "No. I _should_. I _do_." His thumb rubs over Keith's cheek, and Keith leans into it without thinking, seeking the comfort. "You need to let go of the past or you'll never move forward, Keith." Stares into his fucking soul as he says, "You need to forgive yourself. Because, I tell you now, you have _mine_." 

"But—"

"But _nothing_. Stop. _I love you_ , and that's that." 

Keith grips Lance's jumper, water dripping down his hands as he squeezes the wet fabric. "...I'm not good enough, Lance. You _shouldn't_ want it."

Lance smiles. So genuine and soft that it brings a small one to Keith's lips, too. Has him having to hold back tears. "But, I _do_. I _want_ it. I want _you_. Because I _love_ you. I never stopped loving you." Despite Keith's smile, he's still unsure. He's so scared because he doesn't want to lose Lance and it just— 

"Do you need me to shout it to the whole of Varadero? Because I will," Lance teases. 

Keith looks up, realising Lance has stepped back. He cups his hands around his mouth and shouts, "I love Keith Kogane!" into the air. Keith face-palms with a laugh that comes out by accident. It feels fucking great. When he looks through his fingers, it's just in time for Lance to pull Keith towards him by his hands, only speaking again, quiet and private, when he's a few inches away from Keith's face. "And there's nothing you can do about it." 

Keith let's his head fall into Lance's chest, and Lance laughs. Keith wraps his arms tightly around Lance. He lets out the feelings. Let's out his doubts through the embrace. Hold onto Lance for the support, and when he gets it, he speaks up. 

"I don't want to risk losing you, Lance."

"I know, neither do I." He tucks a strand of wet hair behind Keith's ear. "And that's exactly why I'm fighting for this. For _us_."

Keith pauses, eyes fluttering open as he looks up at Lance. He's never— He's never seen it that way. But, it makes complete sense… He thinks again, looking into the Blue of Lance's irises. Seeing as they dance with excitement, realising that Keith is _understanding_. Agreeing. Realising that Lance is _right_. Brings a bright and elated smile to Keith's face, so wide that he feels the strain in his cheeks, and he's throwing his arms around Lance's shoulders and hugging him tight. 

He's _scared_. Oh, he is _still_ scared. Probably will be for a long while. But, if he's worried to lose Lance, then why push him away? Why miss out on being happy because it might not turn out perfect? It makes no sense. He knew that from the beginning, but had no one to tell him. He's not good at following his own advice... So he lets himself feel it. All those times he slipped up and let himself indulge in the feeling of being in love again, it felt amazing. Relieving to allow it. So why stop? Why hold back when _that's_ what gets Keith in his head? Gets him feeling _shitty_.

He hugs even tighter, and Lance easily hugs back. So fucking happy that Keith is out of his head. Stopped over-thinking every detail because he doesn't forgive himself. "Now that this is sorted," Lance starts, soft and caring. "Can we get out of this rain?" 

Keith perks up, smiling in the way he knows Lance recognises. The way he knows Lance loves. Feels fucking good to smile this way. 

"What? I thought you liked the water," Keith teases. "Or were you not on the swim team back in high school?" Lance shakes his head with a laugh. Keith walks away, arms held challengingly outward before he's cupping his hands around his mouth like Lance did and cheers, "I love Lance McClain!" before he's walking back up to Lance teasingly and rubbing his nose against his as he mutters a quiet, "And I'm never going to stop."

Lance beams, pulling Keith closer by the waist and laughing a small, "I love you." before their lips slot together again, both humming as they close their eyes, basking in the rain and the lights that shine over them.

——————————

**Then**

February - Senior Year

Keith drops Lance off at his house, giving him a quick hug and a peck on the lips before he's running through the rain to get back to the car, where Shiro is sitting in the driver seat. He gets in and waves to Lance through the window, Lance waving back before the car drives away. 

Lance is all gooey as he pulls his key from his pocket, unlocking the door. 

" _Ooo_. Yay, I get to keep my hands in my pockets." Rachel comes up behind him and jumps on the spot, waiting for him to open the door. While he does, she looks at him, tilting her head. As Lance opens the door, Rachel asks, "What's on your neck?" and Lance slaps his hand to his neck. 

Rachel's eyes widen at the reaction, and Lance internally panics as he hears her drawn out " _Oooooh_." and the follow up, "You've got a hick—!" 

Lance covers her mouth, glaring daggers as he whisper-shouts, "Want to let the whole house know?!" 

" _Maybe~_ " Rachel practically purrs, opening the door and running into the middle of the house. She jumps on the spot as she sings, "Keith gave Lance a hickey! Lance got a hickey from Keith!!" 

Lance runs after her, jumping on her back and trying to cover her mouth with his hands, repeating for her to, "Shut up!" Marco waltzes in, leaning against the door frame and watching the twins as he laughs. Then, Lance's mother comes in. 

Maria places her hands on her hips disapprovingly. ("Lance! Rachel! No shoes in the house! Especially muddy ones from the rain!") When they don't listen, she shouts again. ("Lance! Get off of your sister!") 

( _"Mama_ , she's being annoying!") Lance argues, climbing off of his sister before he lets out a whine as he throws his arms in the direction of Rachel. 

Rachel isn't taking it. She crosses her arms and leans her weight on one leg as she counters with a, ("You're just mad I saw your hickey!") not even attempting to be subtle. 

Maria's eyes widen, looking at Lance. ("Who's got a hickey?") 

("No one!") Lance shouts, pulling his green jacket to wrap tighter around his body in an attempt to hide any evidence. Keith and his weird obsession with leaving them all over Lance's body. Animal. 

Marco comes up behind Lance, a hand falling to his younger brother's shoulder reassuringly. He's sure Marco is going to stick up for him, but of course he's wrong. ("I think it's time Lance got the safe sex talk, mama,") He laughs, pulling down the hood of Lance's jacket to reveal the bruised skin of his neck. 

"Shut up, Marco! (No one need a sex talk!") Marco smirks and Lance goes red, snatching his hood out of his brother's hold before shouting, ("I'm not having sex!")

________________

**Now**

Keith and Lance stumble through the door of the beach house, dripping water across the wooden floor on their way through. Lance loosens Keith's tie as Keith tackles Lance's shirt buttons. All while they kiss messily and make their way to the bedroom, tripping over themselves and laughing into the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Klancemas :) Hope you liked your present! 
> 
> You can pry Klance rain scenes from my cold, dead hands. I will forever hold onto them. But omg, that confession scene was long and took me *days*. Keith's feelings are very complicated to write, especially in this au. 
> 
> Again, thank you for the support! I can't wait to continue this story!
> 
> See you in the next update! 
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Li6ByFTwMiqG1dc9vf8nB?si=dQJAlkrvRweHm4jrIi0Gng)  
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/tea_addict264?r=nametag) (Here, you can see my drawing of the kiss scene in a better resolution because I found the one I uploaded looked kinda like it's unfocused. Or, if it just didn't work. As well as some of my other art pieces which may or may not include maid outfit Keith ;) <3)


	8. Adante, Adante - ABBA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from my little break after the confession chapter. Sorry that took so long, school has started again and I've had to get used to it. Hope you enjoy these 12,000 words full of fluff and smut lmao.
> 
> Yes, you read that right. I said only a few chapters back that I couldn't do it, but I've tried, so yeah. If you want to skip it, just skip the whole "last night" section. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> TW: MENTION OF SELF-HARM SCARS in the "Last Night" section, and a brief discussion of both SELF-HARM and DEPRESSIVE THEMES in the 3rd "Now".

~Andante, andante

Tread lightly on my ground

Andante, andante

Oh please don't let me down~

-ABBA- 

**Now**

Keith's eyes blink open, the light falling into his face working as a pseudo alarm clock. He sits up, stretching out his tired, taunt muscles and sighing with the satisfying _pop_ that follows. He rubs the heel of his palm into his eye, wiping away the remaining sleep that tries to lure him back into the comfort of his sheets. 

They're warmer than usual— Having Lance with him. He moves to lay on his side, elbow digging into his pillow as his chin rests in his palm, nibbling at the nail of his thumb with a dopey smile, the scar on his cheek moving with it. His hair falls into his face, slipping out of the bun he made last night, but he pays it no mind, too caught up in admiring the man next to him. 

Lance's features are lax with sleep; long, dark eyelashes fanning across freckled cheeks. His face is slightly squished as he lays with his cheek to the plush, white pillow. His arms under his pillow to support his head, bringing attention to his lean muscles, and the freckles that cascade down them like clusters of stars. 

There's a halo of light around his tousled, brown hair from the light streaming through the half-assed closed blinds that had woken Keith up. It paints all the surfaces with gold, bending and curving around the shape of Lance's bare, broad back in thin streaks. 

It brings attention to the scar on Lance's back; a paler colour to his golden skin that shoots out in different directions. Like a starburst. That was their favourite way to describe the scar, anyway. Like naming it something beautiful— Which, _yes_ . It _is_ beautiful. Keith remembers how he had traced it once when they were being lazy together, one day in the past— would make the accident seem any less disastrous than it was. 

But it's healed well. Adds to how breathtaking Lance is. And _God_ does the view of Lance looking so serene do things to Keith's heart. 

_I love Keith Kogane! Lance had called out into the air, rain dripping down his face and from his hair, into his clothes._

Keith remembers last night perfectly. He'll probably remember it for as long as he lives. It was so important to him, to finally tell lance and to have him say it back. It struck Keith, and it was something he never thought would happen. And so he let himself feel it. Let himself bask in every feeling that lights up his chest when he is around Lance. Because he didn't think he could have it again, but he does.

The guilt is still there. It doesn't disappear like water down a drain. It's like smoke; Looks as if it's gone, but the reminiscence of its smell still lingers. Not as strong or potent, but there nonetheless. 

_You need to forgive yourself. Because I tell you now, you have_ mine _._

That at least is a step to getting there. Because he doesn't want to feel guilty. Shiro helped Keith become less guilt-ridden about the accident, so possibly, Lance could be a step to Keith forgiving himself for what happened between them both. He knows he would have to walk the rest of the way himself, but having the knowledge of Lance forgiving him makes it easier. He messed up and he lived with the consequences. He wants to be with Lance, and he thinks its mutual. 

Last night was great. Lance has always surprised Keith. Something new even when he's sure he's learnt everything there is to learn. And last night was one of those times. 

Yeah, the sex was good. Well, that's understated, but _still_. It was different from all of the one night stands or tail end of a fuck-buddy relationship he had with people throughout the five years away from Lance. 

Lance is _different_ . Yes, Keith was numb when he had been with the people in the past, but that didn't mean he couldn't tell that they meant nothing. If there was the off chance of him and someone connecting, it didn't last more than a few weeks, despite Keith's trying. He just got off and it was done, nothing romantic or special. He was even judged, called names and even _fetishized_ sometimes. It wasn't good. It wasn't soft or tender or passionate. It was sex. Nothing more. A way to get off. But Lance...

 _Lance_.

He is _different_ . He's _good_ . With Lance, there _is_ love. Tenderness. Passion. It is strong and impenetrable. It's special. 

_Lance_ is special. _Different._

The feelings between them were only the beginning of it. He understands Keith, and when he saw, he didn't judge him. There were a handful of times people saw Keith's scars after he had stripped and had pushed him away, tried to fix him, or a list (that is _way_ too long) of worse things. 

But Lance— Lance is _different_. Keith has never felt that his scars weren't a problem for someone. Or that they weren't important. But Lance changed that. 

—————————

**Last Night**

Lance's shirt and jumper are already off before they even make it to the bedroom, blindly reaching for the handle to open it as Keith pushes him up against the wood. Once it's open, they stumble backwards until Lance's calves hit the bed frame and he lets himself fall to sit on it. He works on unbuckling Keith's belt, smirking up to Keith (who gets very flustered about that smirk and looks up to the ceiling) before he's pulling Keith's jeans down—

—and then Lance freezes. And Keith's heart feels like it may drop out of his ass. 

Because, _no_. 

No, Lance can't see them. He _can't—_

Keith looks down to Lance, catching his eye right away. He swallows thickly, sucking in his lips as he and Lance stare at one another. Looking down, he can see his bare thighs. The thick scar that lays over his left thigh, surrounded by a collection of smaller scars, all different colours and sizes. But that one's the most visible. The one that reminds Keith of his darkest time and horrible mistake.

They've finally reached the point where they want to be together, and Keith could ruin it all with just his legs. He thinks over every possibility. Every reaction Lance could have— reaction Keith has already witnessed first hand. 

He could push Keith away, judge him, get scared, reject him...

"L-Lance, I can exp--"

"You don't need to," Lance says, taking hold of Keith's hand as his other lays on his hip.

"I-I don't?"

Lance shakes his head, and Keith squeezes Lances hand, searching for reassurance. And he gets it. Lance squeezes back, a small smile on his lips.

His hold on Keith is grounding. Touch of his nimble fingers feather-light and caring. It's… different from the hold of others Keith has felt. They would see his legs and become obsessed, or disgusted. Always touching them, or trying their hardest to avoid them. Paying more attention to them or trying to block them out completely, when Keith just wanted to get off. Sometimes he didn’t even finish, he’d just leave, feeling all kinds of disgusted and uncomfortable. 

But with Lance, there isn’t arousal, disgust, or anything negative. Not even pity. He’s just… looking. Caring. Getting to know the new Keith. 

Because Lance may have stayed pretty close to what he was like in high school, apart from a few changes, but Keith is _different_ . Keith has bigger muscles, he's slightly taller (despite Lance's insistence that he's tiny), and his hair is longer. He has tattoos, piercings and _scars_. He’s different, and Lance is just— taking it in.

It warms Keith in a way he never thought he'd feel when it came to someone seeing his scars. Heightens the confidence in him that he didn't know he has, not scared to let Lance take him in. Because after the initial shock… _of course_ , Lance wouldn't be like the rest of them. He loves him, and this doesn't change it. 

It’s then that Lance is guiding Keith down to by his hip, thighs forgotten. Holds Keith in his lap as he cups his jaw, examining his face; The heat on his cheeks that goes all the way to his ears. His dark eyes. Every sharp angle. All of it. 

Including his scar. Because Lance isn't scared to look. Doesn't try to block out the shit Keith has gone through. 

"You're so fucking beautiful," Lance says, so fucking soft and fond and Keith feels a burn behind his eyes. It's then that Lance is pulling him into a kiss. Soft and teasing. Like it's just a taste. Can feel the smile beneath it. It doesn't make Keith feel pitied or babied. Like he needs looking after. Because Lance knows he _doesn't_. 

Knows that Keith handles himself. That them scars don't define him, and _fuck_ , does it do things to Keith. 

He unbuttons Keith's shirt. Slowly. Lets it drag on. Kisses Keith and pulls his tongue into his mouth as he does it. And it fucks with Keith's head. Causes him to involuntarily rut against Lance's lap, pulling a low hum from Lance's throat as he meets the action, bringing friction between them that has them sighing as they deepen the kiss before Lance pulls Keith's jeans from his ankles and peels the wet fabric of his shirt from Keith's pale body. 

Lance's hands are instantly on him, feeling along Keith's body. His abs, pecs, shoulders and back. Framing him and just absorbing him. Memorising him. Dragging his hands over his legs, and Keith's breath hitches.

"Sorry, is that not okay?" Lance asks, his hands hovering in the air between them.

"It's okay, just unexpected," Keith reassures, laying Lance's hands back on his legs and cupping his jaw. "I trust you." They both smile at one another, until Lance's turns coyer, and his hands are moving to squeeze Keith's ass.

—And the heat takes over again. Burning just as strong as it had a few moments ago. Keith's confidence coming back to him in full force. He pushes Lance so his back hits the mattress. He hovers above him, eyes dark and lidded. He moves to take off Lance's jeans before he's stopping and biting his lip thoughtfully. 

"Lance, are you okay with—" 

"Yes. _Please_ ," Lance laughs, not even letting Keith finish. He cradles the back of Keith's neck and guides him down to kiss him, and Keith takes to flicking the button open on Lance's jeans and pulling them and his boxers down together. 

It's slow. Everything they do is slow. Savouring the other. Teasing the other. Letting the other catch their appreciative stares. It's something so wholly them, and _fuck_ is it good. When the clothes hit the floor in a heavy, wet _slap_ of the wooden floor, they chuckle, leaning into each other's space before closing the (far too long) distance between their lips again. 

It starts out as multiple chaste kisses. Each one growing and getting deeper. Both groaning and panting into it. 

Keith's forearms keep him hovering above Lance, and he leans on one of his elbows to pull off his leather gloves with his teeth. He catches Lance's intake of breath— How his eyes dilate further and his hips rock up at just the sight. Keith smirks. 

Lance likes the gloves, huh?

With the same hand, he reaches for the drawer, hoping he's lucky, which he is, as he finds a bottle of lube and a pack of condoms. Fuck, it makes Keith's mind go places. Images of Lance, alone, laying in bed and coming undone by his own hand. Makes a shiver run through Keith's spine that goes right to his dick. 

He pulls Lance's legs to rest over his hips, placing a pillow beneath him and sitting up to cover his fingers in the lube, before he stops just as he presses his finger to Lance's entrance. 

"'S'this okay?" Keith breathes. 

"Keith, if you don't fuck me soon— _ah!"_ Keith cuts him off as he pushes in, Lance's back automatically arching with the intrusion, until he's relaxing and pulling Keith closer as he works him open. 

It's when Lance jerks up that he knows he's hit his prostate, directing his fingers there and watching Lance fall apart beneath him with a devious smirk as Lance tries to glare. 

Lance grabs his wrist after a while, nodding wordlessly and pulling Keith's hand away and grabbing a condom and putting it in Keith's hand.

He takes the hint, pecking Lance on the lips before he's ripping the packet open and rolling it on, perching himself between Lance's legs. 

"Keith," Lance rasps, bringing Keith to look up at him. He's smiling softly, already looking blissed out. But there's more there. Something deeper; "I love you."

Keith huffs a laugh, dropping his forehead to Lance's as they smile at each other. 

"I love you more." Keith nips Lance's lip as if to solidify his statement, leading to Lance lifting and meeting his lips again when Keith pulls back, and Keith easily deepens the kiss as he adjusts Lance's legs around his hips. 

He slides in, eyes closing as he sighs, Lance's hands fisting into Keith's hair. 

"Keith, baby, please move," Lance whines after a while. 

He opens his eyes at the name and finds Lance smiling far too soft for the position they're in right now, so he moves his hips, and watches as the soft look is wiped from Lance's face. 

It's soon later that their chests are red and flushed enough to feel the heat coming from Lance as he writhes beneath Keith. Breathy pants filling the silence of the room along with the sound of skin slapping against skin as Keith rises his hips slowly, before pushing back down hard and fast, only getting Lance to lose more of his composure, whole body burning. 

Has him crying out as Keith bottoms out, again and again, falling to rest his head in the crook of Lance’s shoulder. Trailing open mouths kisses and dragging his teeth along, getting him hearing the hitch in Lance's breathing. Feeling Lance's legs wrap around his waist and pull him in. Hands roaming and nails scratching. 

Keith uses the flexibility he knows Lance has to his advantage, grabbing one of Lance's legs and hoisting it over his shoulder for a different angle, to have Lance _keening_ , Keith able to abuse his prostate thanks to the angle change. 

Lance's voice is right in his ear. He almost forgot how talkative Lance is during sex. How he can go from hushed curses to a series of loud cries. Mixtures of Spanish and English. Makes Keith even hotter as he rolls his hips forward, having them flush to Lance's ass. 

It has Keith feeling the familiar heat grow in the pit of his stomach, hips moving as Lance’s back arches away from the mattress. He may be wrecked, but it doesn't stop him from lifting to match Keith’s pace, meeting his eyes with a sly smile. It only grows at the groan Keith lets past. Lance knows what he does to Keith. He had always prided in making him come undone even as he’s the one beneath Keith. 

Lance knows he's the one calling the shots. The one that Keith is weak to. And Keith wouldn't have it any other way. 

He guesses some things don't change, even if _they_ have. 

Keith knows Lance is getting closer when he starts to push against Keith faster and harder. Needy. Chasing the pleasure. But it’s also something more. A challenge. Because that’s just them. Challenging each other and working together. Pushing the other further. Something Keith can’t imagine ever having with anyone else.

He reaches between Lance’s legs to wrap around his length, already leaking as he swipes his thumb over the head. Loves how Lance's cockiness disappears as Keith jerks him. It’s slow, teasing. It has Lance’s hips pitching up even more with pleading whines. 

He fucks into Keith’s hand himself while also pushing back on his length, unsure on which pleasure to follow. When Keith feels himself about to come, he starts to jerk Lance to the rhythm of his thrusts. Prides in the way Lance falls back into the mattress, head pushing into the pillow as his watery eyes roll back and mouth falls open.

“Come for me, Lance,” Keith breathes into Lance’s ear before connecting their lips.

Lance comes, moaning into Keith’s mouth, blunt nails biting into the flesh of his back, and Keith isn’t far behind. 

They collapse together, panting and dirty, covered in sweat and cum. But they feel good. 

After Keith's caught his breath, he drops a kiss to Lance's hairline and untangles himself from the man, pulling on his boxers again. He throws out the condom and gets a wet cloth, wiping Lance clean. As the cloth moves over Lance's stomach, they share their soft looks again, both smiling like the stupid idiots in love they are. 

When he goes back to the bathroom, he turns on the shower, a faint splash of water falling against the shower floor, warming the room up. He leans against the bathroom counter, legs crossed at the ankles, thinking. 

About how happy he feels. His chest feels light and he can't wipe the smile from his face even as small whispers try to convince him he doesn't deserve this happiness. But he ignores them.

He thinks about the night's events. About the dancing and the argument and the days before that even. Where they had shared a bed, but they were still too stubborn and nervous to take a step further. He shakes his head, a small laugh falling from his lips unbidden and practically _giddy_. 

He feels cheesy and silly and cliché. But he also feels _young_ and _alive_ . He feels _good_. 

He looks through the bathroom door, into the bedroom, where Lance is already looking at him, smiling softly as he clutches the covers closer to himself. 

Keith moves into the bedroom falling on top of Lance, the duvet separating them. "Hey," He says, quiet. 

"Hi." Lance tucks some of the hair out of Keith's face. Keith gestures wordlessly to the bathroom with his head, and Lance nods, pushing Keith off of him and following him to the bathroom. 

The hot water is relieving after being stuck in the rain, nice to know they will have a smaller chance at catching a cold. They relax and just enjoy having the other so close. 

Keith can't help but hum as Lance washes his hair, even if it's with the small remark about being insane for previously using 3 in 1's.

Sigh as he massages his back with the soap that smells incredibly like Lance. 

Moan as Lance pushes him up against the tiled wall as the water still pours over them, pressing up against Keith and mouthing sloppy kisses around his shoulders and his collarbones, before Keith's dropping to his knees. 

—————————

**Now**

Keith pushes the fried bread around the pan with the spatula, smiling as the radio fills the kitchen with music. He can see why Lance likes to dance while he does this. He's in a good mood, and Lance is still asleep, so he may as well try to cook him some breakfast. 

Emphasis on the "try". 

It's after he's just (very graciously) burnt his finger on the pan, trying to see if the bottom of the bread was sufficiently cooked, that his phone buzzes. He grabs it, seeing Shiro's facetime notification and presses accept, placing the phone against the pot next to the stove that holds all the cooking utensils. 

Shiro waves. " _Hi, Keith. How are things going?"_

"Good." Keith shrugs as he moves the bread in the pan. "Things are really good," He adds, a small tilt of laughter to his voice. 

Because it's really an understatement. Things are _better_ than good. They're _perfect._ In a way that it's hard for Keith to explain. So he just lets himself smile, the giddiness filling his chest. 

It must be obvious how happy Keith is because Shiro's grin is blinding as he says, " _Great! I told you it would be fine._ **** _What do you say?_ " He draws out the question in a way Keith knows he's teasing him. 

Keith rolls his eyes fondly. He guesses Shiro _was_ right. Things did work out. Shiro just doesn't know how well. 

" _…_ Thank you," Keith says, and then, because he's a little shit to his older brother: "Shito."

_"Wow. That's what I get?"_

Keith laughs, moving his attention to the food in the pan. This is his second (third, but who's counting?) attempt at it, the other one (two) turning into charcoal when he drifted off in thought. 

And yes, some of the thoughts were about Lance. Majority. Like how he felt a weight had been lifted from his chest, and he could breathe. Relieved that Lance loves him back. How he really just wants to kiss him again. Hold him close. But some were distant thoughts. Like how his mom used to make him fried bread with eggs, and how she wouldn't allow him to eat at the piano in case he got it dirty. 

He had looked at the piano in the corner of the room when that thought crossed his mind. He really couldn't keep away from that piano when he was younger, but now he doesn't dare go near it. 

"Anyway. How's Kos'?" 

_"Misses you. When are you gonna take him back?"_ **** He asks, before back-tracking and holding his hands up reassuringly. " _Like, no pressure at all, I'm just wondering."_

Keith sighs but doesn't stop paying attention to the bread. He's gonna perfect this one. 

He thinks he'll always (or it will just take a while to forgive himself for) feel guilty for being a bad owner to Kosmo, even after he had picked him up off of the streets. Gave him a home, just to accidentally end up mistreating him and having to give him to Shiro and Adam. 

"I know. I'm sorry I dumped him on you."

" _Hey,"_ Shiro says to grab his attention, and Keith looks up to his phone, catching his brother's soft smile. " _don't worry about that. You went through a shit time and were in no place to look after him._ "

He smiles, a small upturn in his lips that doesn't fully reach his eyes. 

"Thank, Shiro. And hopefully, I'll take him back soon. I miss him, too." A beat of silence, where there's only the sizzling of Keith flipping the bread really audible,and then: "But I need to ask you something else."

Shiro nods, and Keith sucks in a breath. He takes a minute to think, and Shiro doesn't rush him. Learned that rushing Keith to talk about a troubling subject will just make him run. But this question, he feels nervous to find out. It's been on his mind for _days_ , and Lance last night was just an extra reason to believe his hunch is right. 

Well, first he has to at least hint. See how Shiro reacts. Watch his face closely as he says, "Well, first: Lance knows about the scars. He saw them all."

Shiro's eyes widen, darting to look somewhere off camera before their back at Keith, but apart from that, his expression is unreadable. Keith wishes he could read his mind, see what he knows, but then Shiro seems to stop taking in Keith's statement and speaks up. 

_"You showed him your scars?_ _That's really brave of you, Keith. But, can I ask why?"_

Keith moves to look down at the pan. Not long before he can start on the eggs. 

_Oh,_ _yeah_. Keith thinks in his head, where even there it sounds dry and sarcastic. _I just ran away from Lance as it was raining and then we ended up arguing, which led to us both kissing and confessing our feelings and then we ran back to the car, getting home and fucking each other. In which Lance found out about my scars and didn't give a fuck and validated the shit out of me._

Yeah… He's not gonna say all that. 

"Um…"he says intelligently instead, smooth as (n)ever before he's shaking it away. "Not important right now. I just need to know if you told Lance about them before? He didn't seem surprised or anything so I'm just kinda curious." 

Grade A deflection, Keith. Great job.

He's honestly surprised he got the question out, it is an insanely hard subject after all. 

There's another pause where Shiro doesn't answer, his eyes averting to somewhere out of the frame of the camera again, and Keith wonders what's there. Keith gets a little worried. Because it's a yes or no question. One in which you don't need to think about it unless—

" _Oh. No, I didn't tell him. Neither would Adam._ " Okay… okay that's another weight off of his chest, a little. Because Shiro wouldn't lie to Keith. And maybe it was Adam behind the camera, and Shiro was asking a silent question. That would take longer. 

"Oh. Okay. At least I can stop worrying now." 

Shiro softens, and Keith can't help but do the same, moving the bread from the pan to the plate he set out. " _So, are you gonna tell me what brought on you telling Lance about your scars?_ " Shiro asks as Keith whisks the egg together. 

Lance doesn't like yolk, but he _does_ like eggs mixed with other foods. Or scrambled eggs or omelette. Just, never the yolk where he can taste the yellow insides. Something Keith finds incredibly endearing. 

_God_ , he loves this boy. 

"Keith, why are you smiling like that?" Shiro asks, and Keith is brought out of his little daze. 

Keith clears his throat, setting the eggs to the side so he can concentrate on speaking to Shiro and not worry about burning them (more than normally). "Alright. But you're not allowed to get mad."

Shiro instantly looks worried. " _What did you do?"_

Keith glares at his brother, a silent statement of, _wow, assuming the worst already?_ Shiro sees it but doesn't budge. "He kinda saw them by accident. We…"He trails off, worrying his lip between his teeth. Is he really going to tell Shiro? Like, how would he react? It was a spur of the moment, him and Lance sleeping together. He doesn't regret it. Oh _god no_. That's obvious when they slept together another few times that night. He just— doesn't know if Shiro will get annoyed, or if he'll just be annoying… 

When he lost his virginity years ago, to Lance no less, it's like Shiro had sensed it. The next time Keith had looked in his bedside table, there was a box of condoms there, plain as day, with a little note attached. 

_Just because you're gay doesn't mean you get to be unsafe!_ The note had read as if Keith was stupid enough to not use protection. Gosh, he'd scrunched that note into a little ball and fell back onto his bed, face burning. He couldn't look at Shiro for a whole week after that. 

" _When you what…?_ " 

Keith cringes when he comes out of the awful memory. Both because of the memory and because of the question. "We may have…" He shrugs stiffly, trying to make it seem less awkward, bringing his thumb up to his mouth to bite the nail. "Slept together…" he says around his thumb. 

Shiro's reaction isn't instant. It's slow. Starts out with his eyes widening, then his mouth falling open until his jaw is practically on the floor, and then his arms fall limp to his side with a defeated, " _What?"_

Keith purses his lips, hugging an arm around himself."I slept with Lance," He repeats, quieter. 

He's not going to mention that they did it more than once last night. At least let it settle in before he gives the old man a heart attack. 

" _Really!?"_ Keith thinks it's Shiro for a second, but he knows that's not his brother's voice. He looks up to the phone, just in time to see Adam come into frame, —so he was there!— throwing his arms around Shiro's shoulders and smiling widely at Keith. 

It helps Keith get a little less embarrassed. It's not a _negative_ reaction, so. "Yeah, we did. Last night."

Shiro pouts, and Adam gives him a loud, overdramatic kiss on the cheek as Keith watches Shiro pull a few bills out of his pocket and hand them to Adam. Keith pauses, staring at the two men on the other side of the screen. 

"You bet on me!" Keith really wishes they weren't on the other side of the phone, so he could hit them. "You actually bet on whether Lance and I would sleep together?"

Shiro looks guilty as Adam readjust his glasses on his nose evilly. " _No, our bet was_ 'when' _. It happening eventually was inevitable_."

Keith tries his best to direct his glare at them through the phone, and Shiro shrinks in on himself. 

" _I'm sorry Keith. My husbands an evil man and he peer pressured me._ " Keith face-palms. " _How the fuck did you sleep together so fast? Not too long ago you wouldn't even sit next to each other!_ " He says, defeated, but Keith's sure it's about losing the bet and not remorse for his younger brother. 

" _It's called sexual tension, hon. You wouldn't understand_ ," Adam laughs, and when Shiro looks to Keith for the confirmation, Keith nods his head. 

Yeah, that really was just really strong romantic and sexual tension. They're hopeless. 

"I honestly can't believe you two. It's like I'm the mature one and I'm a fucking idiot, so that says something," Keith sighs, finally grabbing the eggs and pouring them into the pan. 

" _I_ _'m sorry, Keith. But hey! You and Lance! That's happened!_ " 

Keith narrows his eyes at his brother even more. He knows he's trying to change the subject, divert the attention away from the utter betrayal of his only two family members. He'd make a joke about wanting none if it's them, but he thinks that's a little dark, even for his sense of humour. So he sticks to the glare, moving the eggs around in the pan. 

But Shiro pouts, and Keith rolls his eyes, deflating and heaving out a dramatic sigh (Lance has an effect on him) before he's forgiving his idiot brother. 

"Yeah, it did happen." He gets all giddy and warm when he thinks about it, and he doesn't get rid of the smile he feels on his lips. 

" _You look happy. I'm proud_."

"Proud?" 

Shiro nods. " _You would have never gotten with Lance if you didn't forgive yourself. Even if you still need some work getting there completely, it's obvious you're almost all the way there_." Wow, Shiro reads Keith weirdly well. " _Mom and dad would be proud, too_."

Now that hits a special point in his heart. 

Keith wipes the tears that gather in his eyes as he turns down the heat of the stove so he can keep the eggs warm without burning them. God, he misses his parents. 

"What about your music? That going well?" Shiro asks, and Keith is happy to steer away from the hard subject right now. 

Because his music _has_ been going really well. He's almost entirely finished with two pieces, melody and lyrics wise, and he's planning another. 

Yeah, the song about his mom is playing up a little with the melody, Keith having to change it around because it's not fitting how he would hope, but he knows he'll get there. And then the other song is going smoothly. It's about him, and his growth. 

They're special to him. 

"Music's good. I think I'll really be able to get the songs ready for my audition." He shrugs, moving the eggs in the pan and deeming them done before he actually ends up burning them. 

" _Four songs is a lot_." Keith sees Shiro looks worried, and he isn't surprised; Four songs _is_ a lot, but—

"Yeah, well," Keith shrugs as he moves the eggs around again, turning the stove off completely. "Marmora is a music school. Best of the best. So you need to be, too."

Shiro nods, a smile tugging at his lips. " _Well, I believe in you_."

"Thank, Shiro." He piles the eggs on top of the fried bread, smiling as the food looks good. Not bad for Keith I-Can't-Cook-For-Shit Kogane. "Okay, I'm gonna wake Lance up."

Shiro waves and Keith returns it before pressing the _end call_ button. As soon as he starts walking towards the bedroom, his phone pings with a message from Shiro. 

**_[Shiro]_ ** _Talk soon. Bye <3 _

**_[Keith]_ ** _Bye_ ****

**_[Shiro]_ ** _Keith_ ****

**_[Shiro]_ ** _Do it back._

 **_[Shiro]_ ** _That's an order_

**_[Keith]_ ** _You don't control me_

**_[Shiro]_ ** _Just do it._ ****

**_[Shiro]_ ** _Please_ ****

**_[Shiro]_ ** _Keith_

 **_[Shiro]_ ** _:'(_

**_[Keith]_ ** _Fineeeeeeee_

 **_[Keith]_ ** _Bye <3 _

**_[Shiro]_ ** _:D_

**_[Keith]_ ** _Shito_

**_[Shiro]_ ** _D:_

Keith laughs to himself as he pushes the door fully open with his hip, walking into the room with the tray of the _only slightly_ burnt food. He places the tray on the bedside table and sits on the bed, mattress dipping beneath his weight. He reaches out to push Lance's hair away from his forehead. 

"Lance, wake up," Keith whispers, leaning down to kiss his forehead, and then his temple, and then his nose. "Lance."

Lance stirs, opening his eyes only slightly before he's patting Keith's face away, pushing his nose particularly hard that it makes him lean back, rubbing it better. When he scowls at Lance, the latter just smiles sleepily and mumbles, "I don't want to be a vampire, Edward Cullen. I'm team Jacob for _days_."

Keith's scowl only deepens, making Lance laugh even more. 

"What happened to the man who woke up early every day?" Keith asks disgruntledly. 

"He found a cute man to stay in bed all day with and keep him warm." Lance bats his eyelashes all innocently. 

Keith can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips. This boy. "Well, you need to get up." When Lance makes no moves to listen, Keith reaches behind himself and throws the pillow at Lance, who lets out a deep _oof_ as it hits him right in the stomach.

Keith is too busy laughing to see Lance's retaliation, and then he's suddenly being hit with a pillow-uppercut to the jaw, sending him falling back off the bed and hitting his ass on the wood. Lance is practically dying of laughter, tears springing to his eyes unbidden, and Keith jumps up onto the bed to tackle him. He secures his hands above his head so he can't attack, smiling when Lance goes quiet. 

When Lance breaks out of his moment of shock, his lips tug into a smirk as he looks up at Keith. "Well, this is bringing back memories of last night."

And he's at it with the innuendos. He doesn't wait long. May as well play along. 

"Oh, really now?" Keith leans down so their noses touch, lips close. Lance lifts his head to meet Keith's lips, but Keith moves so he's out of reach before tilting his head a fraction to the side: Feigning innocence. "I don't think I quite remember. Maybe you could jog my memory?" he smirks as he intertwines their fingers. 

"I don't think my body can do that again," Lance laughs, and Keith goes in to just kiss him instead, fully content— but his eyes widen when Lance is suddenly linking his legs with Keith's and flipping them over so Lance is hovering above Keith. Embarrassingly, his legs automatically spread further apart, and Lance closes in. "But this way would be good." 

And who the fuck is Keith to deny that offer? 

———————————

Lance forces Keith to share his (kind of cold) breakfast, as Keith only made one serving. ("You have to have some, too. It could be poisonous if _you_ cooked it." "I was trying to be romantic and give you breakfast in bed, don't be rude!") But they enjoy it. It's nice to be lazy and curl up together in bed, eating food that Keith, quite honestly, doesn't hate the taste of. He doesn't tell Lance that it wasn't his first attempt, but he doubts he has to, Lance knowing Keith's bad cooking first hand. 

Lance insists on doing the dishes, as Keith was the one who made breakfast, but Keith doesn't let him. Lance huffs, hooking his chin over Keith's shoulder as he watches him, grumbling incoherently about how Keith's a hypocrite and wouldn't let Lance wash up if he had cooked, but Keith just laughs and kisses him. 

"Just let me do this. Then you can be the one to spoil me," Keith says, cleaning the cups Lance had filled with coffee halfway through their breakfast. 

"Alright, you better let me spoil you." Lance nuzzles Keith's neck, and Keith leans into the touch, humming contently. "I love you," Lance sighs against his neck, leaving a few kisses there. It warms Keith, to hear him say it so casually and unabashed. "I'm so happy I can finally do this." He emphasises this by squeezing Keith's and rocking them side to side, making Keith laugh. 

"I love you, too," Keith says. Lord, he loves saying those words. "I've wanted you to do this since the first morning you made me breakfast."

Lance perks up. "Really?"

"Well, yeah. I didn't realise it then, deep in denial, but I know now, looking back."

Lance hums, nodding his head in agreement before he's lifting his chin off Keith's shoulder and smiling brightly at him. "You know what? I'm taking you somewhere."

Keith turns over his shoulder to look at him. "Where's _somewhere_?"

"A surprise!"

"I hate surprises." Keith frowns, putting the last dish on the draining board. 

"That's what makes it even better. And you can't say no, you said I could spoil you." He pushes Keith away from the sink, encouraging him to go to his room and change out of his hoodie and boxers. 

He's not hiding his legs. He's honestly never liked to wear pyjama trousers, they were just a cover. Lance knows this about Keith, and when Keith seemed nervous this morning when changing after breakfast, Lance told him he really didn't mind Keith's legs. To not confine himself in front of him, but not feel pressured to show them either. It made Keith smile, and he happily didn't wear the trousers. 

It felt unnerving to walk around the room like that, at first. To have someone see them. But Lance didn't even look down at his legs. Didn't seem like he was trying too hard not to either. He just treated Keith the same.

Keith realises he's smiling fondly at Lance over his shoulder, and Lance seems to melt. 

"Hurry, get changed," Lance says. 

But the soft atmosphere doesn't stay. Oh no. Lance smacks Keith's ass as he walks away, and Keith first looks back at Lance, shocked, before he scowls in a warning of _Don't ever do that again._ Which only makes Lance laugh. 

———————————

**Then**

March - Senior Year

Luis and Lisa's wedding is beautiful. 

As soon as Luis sees his fiancée walking down the aisle in her white jumpsuit with a sweetheart neckline and off the shoulder sleeves, he cries. Keith's sitting close enough to notice the tears slip down his cheeks before he's wiping them away. 

Keith doesn't blame him much. Lisa really does look beautiful. You don't have to be straight to notice that. 

Her dark, curled hair is in a half-up, half-down style, and Keith doesn't want to imagine how long it took to make it look that good, he does it himself and he looks a mess. There's a collection of daisies and baby's-breath placed meticulously and delicately into different sections, matching her bouquet. There's also a comb with flowers pushed into the up-section, the vail that is connected falling to around hip length. Her jumpsuit is a mixture of smooth fabric and a laced bodice, and its legs are long enough to show only a peek of her matching white heels. Keith isn't an expert in fashion or weddings, but he knows she looks amazing. 

Once she reaches the end of the aisle, Luis is standing tall and looks about ready to kiss the bride and run away to their honeymoon already. He's practically buzzing with excitement. 

It's quite different from how intimidating he had been when he first met Keith. He'd held himself tall, towering over Keith, and crossed his thick arms as if to say, "if you hurt my little brother, you're in trouble." When Lance had scolded him, Luis became quite calm, but now he's a ball of energy, smiling blindingly at his soon-to-be wife. 

Lance, positioned close to Luis as he is one of his best men, places a hand on his shoulder, and his smile says it all: _I'm proud of you._

"Do you, Luis…" Keith doesn't register much of the vicar's words, too caught up in looking at his boyfriend now. It's probably a little rude, but Keith can't really help it. 

Lance's curly hair is slicked back, some pieces still too unruly and falling into his face, but it doesn't look messy. Keith honestly thinks it looks more charming. His suit is a navy blue, matching his eyes, and contrasting with his red tie. _His_ tie. That tie is Keith's, Lance having switched them when he saw Keith earlier. Keith is wearing his blue one, and he likes it. 

Lance has a warm smile as he watches his brother recite his vows, which is causing Lisa to almost cry. 

But when Lance catches Keith's eye, his smile becomes more subtle and much more fond. He mouths a small, "I love you," before kissing the air in Keith's direction like he's sending a kiss. 

Keith chuckles, copying the gesture —albeit much more awkwardly, but it's okay because Lance just finds it cute— and breathes a small, inaudible, "I love you more."

It's a small moment, private between the both of them, and then they're moving their attention back to the ceremony, just in time for Luis to begin crying as his wife reads a poem she wrote as her vows to him. 

When the dinner ceremony arrives, Keith is sitting with his and Hunk's family around a round table, covered with a white cloth and decorated with rustic themed centrepieces. The chairs are decorated with a lacy bow tied around the back of the chair, and all Keith can think of with this reception hall is that he feels like he's in a fairy tale, but it's exceptionally beautiful. The hanging lamp lights and strings of fairy lights being one of Keith's favourite parts. 

Lance is sitting at the main table, not too far away. When Keith catches his eye again, Lance pulls his tongue out at his boyfriend. 

As he does, Keith feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, having been on silent for the wedding. It's a text from Lance. 

**_[Lance]_ ** _How's the peasant's table?_

Keith blinks at him, unimpressed, but it doesn't deter Lance from "fixing" the position of his "crown" on his head proudly. 

Keith flips him off with a playful smile— 

"Ow!" Keith whines at the flick he gets in the ear. He turns to his Mom, whose eyes are narrowed at him. He smiles awkwardly and hears the distant laugh from Lance, and the not so distant one from Hunk, who sits the other side of him. 

Once dinner has finished, there's a break for the staff to get rid of the dinner tables and prepare for the reception party. Dance floor and everything. 

"Easily the best part of weddings!" Lance cheers as the both of them and Hunk walk along the grass. "You both gotta dance with me _at least_ twice." He points to them, and neither of them could ever say no to him. 

Lance swings his and Keith's arms, leaning comfortably into his space. Keith doesn't know how he became so easily affectionate with Lance. He's never been the physical type, nor the vocal. But Lance just brings out his touchy side, he guesses. He doesn't mind. 

He likes it. It's refreshing. 

"Lance, Mijo! Come take the pictures!" Maria calls from the ivy-covered tree swing with fairy lights wrapped around the ropes and lanterns dangling from the branches. 

"Coming Mama!" Lance calls back, smiling to Hunk and Keith before running across the lawn to his family. 

Keith watches, entirely lovestruck, as his boyfriend holds up some of his cousins onto his shoulders for every photo, each wanting a turn to be held by their _primo Lance._ Keith has no doubt Lance would be the perfect father, and that thought sets a small heat in his cheeks. 

Hunk nudges him with his arm, and Keith stumbles a little. That boy really is strong. 

Keith looks up to him, and he's smiling. "You really love him, don't you." It isn't a question. Hunk has faith in them, and so does Keith. 

"I do," Keith answers anyway. It's a nice change to the closed-off kid he used to be. Hunk and Lance brought him out of his 'I don't need friends' phase, and made him realise the best people come around when you don't expect it. 

Next thing Keith knows, Lance is running towards them and pulling them both along with him, all the way to where his family are still gathered in front of the photographer. 

He looks around, confused, before Lance his pulling Keith close to his side, Hunk behind them as he's taller, and the camera is facing them. 

He freezes, realising he's just been pulled into the photos. That is, until Lance whispers, "I'll love you forever," loud enough for Keith to hear, and it brings a genuinely bright and easy smile to his lips as the camera flashes. 

———————————

**Now**

"Lance, where are we going?" Keith asks. 

"I told you: it's a surprise."

Keith huffs, pulling his sunglasses down to rest on the bridge of his nose as he looks out of the window and watches the scenery pass. They're definitely no longer in Varadero, heading somewhere further inland, and Keith just _wants to know_. But he allows Lance to surprise him. 

They haven't actually had a chance to talk about everything that's happened. They've said 'I love you's again this morning, as well as sleeping together, so there's at least the fact that Keith knows Lance wasn't just drunk. He really means it, and it equally calms Keith's nerves as it sets them off. 

Despite that, he still wants to talk. It's important to understand each other and not have any more misunderstandings between one another. 

The silence that surrounds them is comfortable. It's welcomed. But It's not particularly _silent_. If you take into account Lance tapping his hands on the steering wheel and singing lightly to the _Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again_ soundtrack. When the song _Andante, Andante_ starts to play, Lance leans closer to Keith as he sings the beginning quietly. 

_~Take it easy with me, please_

_Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze_

_Take your time, make it slow_

_Andante, andante_

_Just let the feeling grow~_

He bumps his shoulder with Keith's, waggling his eyebrows, still looking out the windshield as Keith tries to hold back his smile. He knows he's failing, feeling his lips twitch, and Lance sees it too, singing the next verse with a small laugh. 

_~Make your fingers soft and light_

_Let your body be the velvet of the night_

_Touch my soul, you know how_

_Andante, andante_

_Go slowly with me now~_

Keith laughs, and Lance looks like he's won the lottery, perking up in his seat, eyes practically sparkling. Which is adorable all by itself. Lance likes seeing Keith happy, and that's such a nice feeling. Knowing someone cares so much. 

He starts to sing back quietly, and Lance's eyes widen, as Keith catches another flash of his white teeth. 

He used to love singing with Lance, and he's happy he gets to still do it. He's done it multiple times since coming to Varadero, and it brings back some of the strongest memories he's had with Lance. 

_~I'm your music_

_(I am your music and I am your song)_

_I'm your song_

_(I am your music and I am your song)_

_Play me time and time again and make me strong_

_(Play me again 'cause you're making me strong)_

_Make me sing, make me sound_

_(You make me sing and you make me)_

_Andante, andante_

_Tread lightly on my ground_

_Andante, andante_

_Oh please don't let me down~_

Lance leans in and rubs their noses together, and Keith realises both their eyes are closed. He whips his head to check how Lance is driving until he realises they've stopped. 

The song plays in the background as Keith looks out the windscreen, noticing they must have even reversed so the cargo bed is facing where Lance has taken them, as Keith just sees the road they were on in front of him. 

He turns around, looking out the back window to see a small outcropping of rock. It juts out, a railing surrounding the edge, with a few people looking over at the views. Some point out into the distance, as some hold their children on their shoulders, laughing as the child babbles something. 

Keith feels Lance kiss his cheek before the taller boy is jumping out of the driver's side and hopping into the cargo bed, waving at Keith through the small window when he notices Keith is still watching. 

Lance unzips one the bags he had thrown into the back before they left. He pulls out a blanket, spreading it out across the base of the bed, laying starfish on his back once it's down and staring at the clear blue sky. Keith realises he should finally get out too. 

He climbs up next to the star-fished Lance, smiling as the boy quickly moves to sit behind Keith, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and hooking his chin over his shoulder, watching Keith face for a reaction. 

It's then that Keith properly looks out to the view, and he leans back against Lance as he takes it in. It's beautiful. He couldn't see from inside the truck, but there are rocks and what looks like paintings of red and blue. The pictures are too incoherent for Keith to make them out, but he likes them. 

Lance explains to Keith about the popularity of the spot, and the different stories about the area. Keith listens happily. He loves listening to Lance talk, especially something he knows a lot about. He could ramble in for days and Keith would still listen. 

When Lance is in the middle of his second story, his phone starts to ring, and for once, he doesn't frown at the ID of the caller. He smiles brightly as he answers, and Keith only gets a small glance at the name " _Hunk"_ with two yellow hearts next to it, before the screen is going black as Lance holds it to his ear. 

"Hunky-boy, man of my dreams, love of my life, how ya doing?" Lance asks, bringing his free hand to stroke through Keith's hair. 

So Lance is still close with Hunk. Even closer, maybe. That makes Keith happy. The last time he saw Hunk wasn't the best time for Keith, and they never discussed what Keith saw that day. Or, Hunk tried, but Keith ignored his messages. 

Keith can easily hear Hunk's small huff of laughter before he replies, " _I_ _'m doing good, just wanted to check how you're doing_." 

Lance doesn't answer right away. He lets his lips tug into a smile and leans down to wrap his arms around Keith's shoulders tighter, holding the phone out in front of them both and hitting the speaker button. Keith takes the hint. 

"Hey, Hunk." Keith's anxiety breaks through his voice, but he can't help it. He hasn't spoken to Hunk in four years, it's nerve-wracking. 

It's quiet for a moment, and Lance and Keith smother their snickers (Keith's being brought on by the nerves) with their hands before they hear a flurry of pots and pans being dropped. Before they can even ask if Hunk's okay, his frantic voice is coming through the speaker. 

_“Is that— is that_ Keith?” They can hear him clearing up whatever pots he dropped in his shock. 

“Uh-huh…” Keith confirms. 

He feels happy despite his anxiety. Excited to hear Hunk again after so long. Hunk was such a close friend, but Keith dropped him like he had Lance, and he regrets it. So hearing him now, sounding almost the same, is nice. 

_“But, wha—“_

Lance cuts him off excitedly, with a small tilt to his voice. “You're not the only one to be lucky in love!"

 _“Lance—“_ Hunk tries again. 

“Okay, well, I'm getting luckier,” Lance laughs, twirling Keith’s hair around his finger. “How are Ryan and Shay, anyway?”

 _"Good. I think I might ask them if we can move in—_ Hey! _Don't change the subject!"_

“Sorry, sorry. But yeah, Keith came here, too, and… it just… happened." Lance shrugs, despite Hunk being unable to see him. 

Lance starts to look nervous, nibbling his lip and rubbing his thumb over their linked hands. Keith squeezes his hand reassuringly, and Lance moves his attention to the boy leaning into his chest. Keith smiles, mouthing a small, "You got this," and the tension in Lance's body dissipates. 

It's a small moment, private between them as Hunk is finished thinking and speaks up. He sounds unconvinced. _“It… happened?”_ Keith purses his lips to the side, looking away from the phone as if he's looking away from Hunk out of guilt. 

"I know I messed up with Lance in the past," Keith says, and Hunk goes to speak, but Keith interrupts with an added, "But I promise I'll do better."

It's quiet again for a moment, and Keith bites the inside of his cheek nervously, before Hunk speaks up again, much more sincere and calm. " _Keith, I don't blame you for the past. That's not why I'm shocked… I just…_ " 

"Hunk…" Lance says or possibly _p_ _leads_. There's an undertone of something Keith can't place, but he doesn't overthink it. 

" _Okay, okay."_ Hunk sighs. " _I'm happy for you guys, I really am. How long have you been together?_ "

"Um…" Lance hums, pulling his hand from Keith's to scratch his cheek. "We're… not?" He laughs awkwardly, and Keith cringes. It's true. They're not together. They really should discuss what this _thing_ between them is. 

" _Wait, what_?" 

"We aren't a couple… we just…" 

Keith finishes it for him. "We haven't discussed it yet."

Hunk sighs. They can hear it as a tinny huff of air through the phone, but it's not unkind. Sort of fond exasperation. " _You're both still the disasters you were in high school_." 

"I resent that," Lance says, and they all laugh. There's no longer an awkward air around them anymore. It's calmer, lighter. 

He misses them being the trio they were in high school. He had been so excited to get an apartment with the two of them for their second year of college, all wanting to try dorms the first year, just to have the experience. An apartment meant they could still be close as Keith went to Marmora and the two of them went to The Garrison. But… things didn't turn out like that. 

He wishes he could take back the time that they were all apart, but he knows he can't. But he guesses it doesn't matter, because he's found them again, now. He can have another chance. 

" _Well, I better leave you, idiots, to talk about it_." Hunks words bring Keith out of his stupor. " _Lance, I expect an explanation for all of this soon_."

" _Say hi to the Mr and Mrs for me~_ " Lance sings instead of answering. 

"We're not married!" 

"You're right. I'm more likely to propose to Keith before you do." That makes Keith's eyes widen, cheeks burning as he turns around the best he can to look at Lance. The taller boy looks just as flustered, but they don't comment on it. 

" _Don't I know it._ " Lance's face twists for a second, but then he's relaxing as Hunk laughs. " _I'll talk to you later_."

"Bye, nice talking to you again," Keith says. 

" _You too, Keith._ "

"Bye! Love you!" Lance cheers into the receiver, and they hear Hunk laugh. 

" _Love you, too, buddy._ " Lance hangs up the call, pocketing his phone and burying his face into Keith's hair while his hands link with Keith's around his stomach again. 

It's quiet. It's not the same as in the car before. There's the background of the tourists and locals, some wondering past the truck when they go to their own cars. But the quiet is no less welcomed. They need it. It gives them both time to think and to prepare for the conversation that's inevitably going to happen. 

Keith's honestly scared to talk about it. Not because he doesn't want to understand what's going in between them, but because confrontation has never been Keith's friend. Even before the accident, and before his parents died, he still didn't enjoy it. 

His mother was his best friend. The person who taught him everything he knew. She was his rock, and he wouldn't be the person he is today without her. She was the only person he could ever be himself around wholly and truly. 

Well, her and…Lance. When they were younger, Keith never felt scared to tell him something, unless it was his feelings. But after they got together, he was an open book. And Lance never took advantage of that.

"So… us," Keith starts. 

"Us," Lance echoes. 

"I just want you to know that… that I _want_ to be with you. I love you and— and—" He struggles to get the words out, stammering and he squeezes Lance's hand by accident out of frustration. 

Lance soothes his hand over Keith's, causing Keith to relax and listen as he speaks. "I want to be with you, too."

Keith nods. He's the same. They both feel the same. 

"I just… I feel like it's wrong," Keith admits. He wants Lance to know where he stands. "Wrong for me to be with you when I hurt you. I pushed you away, and then I _left_. It all my—"

"Nope! Nu-uh, no way, you're not doing that. You're not dumping all the blame on yourself, because you _know_ that it's not all you. I could have fought for you, but did it?" Keith stays quiet, and so Lance answers himself. "No. I could have tried harder and not listened to you just like Adam and Shiro, but I didn't, did I?" Lance asks, and again answers it himself. "Nope."

He softens, losing the fire in his eyes that was so strong it made Keith stay quiet. It wasn't cruel, or angry. It was caring, but it was intense. He doesn't want Keith feeling bad. 

"But, you know what?" Lance starts again. "I don't blame myself. And that's because I know it was a difficult situation, and I know why you did it. So you shouldn't blame yourself either."

Keith slumps against Lance, unable and, honestly, happy not to argue. It's nice to have more than just Adam and Shiro and a therapist tell him that he isn't to blame for everything. Survivor syndrome, Keith's therapist had explained. Where a survivor feels guilty about the death of other people while they get to stay alive. It's what drove him to self-harm, both a way to feel and a way to hurt. Because he felt he deserved the pain that the people he lost must have felt. 

Keith knows that he doesn't deserve it, now. It took a long time in therapy, but now he's grown and is mentally capable of not blaming himself as much as he used to. So he accepts Lance's words a little easier, even if his mind isn't completely convinced. He remembers what Shiro said, about how Keith must forgive himself at least mostly. And it's true. The guilt isn't as heavy, and that's something big to Keith. 

But there are still small doubts. 

"I wish I had fought for you when I went to find you," Keith whispers, so quiet that Lance mishears him as 'I should have gone to find you.' 

Lance sighs, nuzzling into Keith's hair. "With all that you went through —that you were going through— I don't blame you for not trying to find me again." 

Keith frowns in confusion, looking up at Lance as he asks, "What do you mean?" 

"At the start," Lance says. "I always held a little hope you would come to find me, tell me you still love me and that we can work." His lips form into a pout, hands beginning to card through Keith's loose hair. "But I realise that was selfish of me, especially because—" 

"I did." _That_ catches Lance's attention. "I went to the Garrison to try to talk to you. To ask if we could still work, with time. And I left a voicemail for you before that because you're incapable of picking up your phone. But when I went, you—" He forces the words past the lump that forms in his throat from the memory. "—you were with someone else."

Keith hated that day. It honestly hurt more than it should have, considering Keith was the one to break up with Lance, but he couldn't get rid of the ache for a while. Allowed his emotions to lead him to make a few mistakes that night. 

Lance stares at Keith like he's grown two heads, a small, "You did?" falling from his lips. 

Keith nods, watching as Lance's expression grows sadder. "I wasn't prepared to lose you, but I already had." Keith shrugs, as if it's not important, despite knowing it is. 

Lance seems to crumble, slowly looking more shattered. "You came to find me?" He asks almost inaudibly, the words a mere squeak. 

"I came."

Lance's face twists. "I'm too sad to make a joke but I want you to know I found that funny," Lance tries to laugh, but he still looks sad. Keith accidentally laughs at that, and it helps Lance loosen up a bit. 

He takes holds of Keith's hands again, smiling small. "You have me now. I love you, Carino."

The pet name takes Keith's head to last night, and he leans further into Lance as he says, "About last night… as well as this morning…" Lance hums. "I… I don't regret it. I want you to know that I meant everything that happened between us."

"So did I. I want to be with you, Keith. Like, really with you."

"You do?" Lance nods. "So you want to be my boyfriend again?" 

Lance laughs. "You can always trust Keith Kogane to be blunt with everything." Keith pouts, crossing his arms. "But, yeah, I do want to. I think it would be cruel if we fell in love all over again to not end up together."

Keith nods, until his face falls. "Lance, what if it happens again?" He sighs. "What if we're just being naïve?"

"Yeah, maybe we are. But what if we're not? What if we try, and it turns out to be the best decision of our lives?" 

"But what if—?" 

"Keith," Lance cuts him off. "if you let 'what if's run your life, you'll leave this world with a trail of regrets behind you. You'll die thinking 'what if I had actually done those things, would things have been better?'" 

Keith never thought of it that way. He had concentrated on the negative. Everything between them that could go to shit and ruin what they had found again. 

Because losing that, losing the possibility to be with Lance just because he's scared, isn't the answer. It just ensures he can be with the boy he loves. 

Keith smiles, turning around to face Lance instead of leaning into his chest. He takes hold of Lance's hand again and looks down to their matching tattoos. He examines them for a moment, remembering the day they got them before he's looking back at Lance through his dark bangs. 

"You really want to do this?" He can't hold back his smile as he asks it. 

Lance easily mirrors it. "Without a doubt. You're my future, Keith. I love you."

Keith bites the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. "Even with my…" he trails off. 

At that, Lance looks more serious, but it's no less caring. "Nothing like that could change my love for you, Keith. They're part of you, and that's entirely valid. I'm not one to question what you went through, I just hope you're better now, and that's for you, and not me."

Keith likes that. He's heard it before. How people, such as Adam and Shiro, wanted Keith to be better. But it wasn't for their benefit, it was for _his._ For _him_. Lance really is proving to be like the good people in his life. 

"I am. Better, that is. I haven't done it in a long time."

"I'm proud of you." 

Another person who is proud of him… Keith can't help the smile that tugs at his lips as he says, "Okay."

"Okay?" Lance echoes as a question. 

"I want to be with you. I want to stay with you. I wan tot try."

"Really?"

"Yeah. That's okay, right?" 

"Of course it is!" Lance shouts excitedly as he attacks Keith in a tight embrace. 

They fall back onto the blanket spread out across the bottom of the bed, although it's more messed up now after Lance's burst of excitement. But Keith doesn't blame him. He feels giddy. Because he's here with Lance, his _boyfriend._ He pulls Lance closer to his chest, and the other boy laughs. 

They lay like that for a few moments. Simply enjoying the feeling of not worrying about their situation and what step to take next. Because, really, Keith doesn't have much of a clue. And he doesn't think Lance does either. They're together, so they'll just go with the flow. Be themselves and relax, because that's what brought them together in the first place. 

It's still nerve-wracking. Despite stepping right into the 'I love you' and sleeping together, it's still a lot. But it's also easy. They aren't a new relationship. Not people who need to learn all about this brand new person. They _know_ each other. 

And, honestly, these days together in Varadero have started that 'getting to know the new you' phase. Despite the obvious things they still want to discuss, they can take their time, because they are happy and will figure it out together. 

So Keith will say, "I love you," with a smile. And he'll link their hands and smile down at his and Lance's matching tattoos, side by side. Sun and the moon. Night and day. Light and dark. 

Move-in and feel Lance mutter a small, "I love you, too." against his lips before they're connecting, moving in tandem as they smile into it. 

He'll let Lance show him around the area, telling his stories and sneaking soft kisses, hugs and looks between their words. 

——————————

**Then**

March - Senior Year

If Keith thought Lisa's ceremony jumpsuit was impressive, her party dress is tenfold. It has shimmering golds and silvers, but they're subtle enough to match the theme of the wedding. Her white shoes are replaced for comfortable —but no less beautiful— boots. Her hair is tied up into a loose ponytail and Keith is sure she has less hair now than before… 

Luis stays in his suit, but takes off the jacket and rolls up his sleeves. His slicked-back hair has fallen out and looks much messier, but not bad. 

The first dance song starts, and Keith instantly recognises it as the song "You In My Life" by Ed Patrick. Luis and Lisa hold each other close as they dance, laughing and smiling as he spins his wife around before she's spinning him and sending them into a dip, making the whole crowd laugh. 

Lisa winks at Lance as the new song starts, and then Keith is being pulled into the crowd of dancers, Lance holding his waist and pulling them flush together.

Okay, Keith has practised this. They can do this. 

Keith smiles, and Lance easily returns it, both of them moving with the music like the rest of the dancers. 

_~Deep in the city, somewhere in moonlight_

_I think about you all the time_

_But you're too messed up to even know_

_To even know_

_In the backseat, of your friend's car_

_It's kind of funny that I don't know who we are anymore~_

Lance spins Keith stupidly, and they both laugh like Lisa and Luis had, before Lance is pulling him in again, resting their foreheads together and humming, content. 

_~From the howling winds_

_You find yourself holding me~_

Keith watches his feet, nibbling his lip thoughtfully before Lance is lifting his head like he had when they were practising. Keith watches his blue eyes as they dance, and he can't hold back the bright smile that tugs at his lips.

_~I can be by your side, living on the East side_

_Hoping that you don't mind, even if it's part-time_

_Thinking of you full time, sleeping on the red-eye_

_We should do a rewind, this could be a lifetime_

_We could be a lifetime, baby~_

Lance leans down and kisses Keith, and he can feel their smiles in it before they're pulling apart and hugging each other as they dance. Keith rests his head in the crook of Lance's shoulder, and he sees his mom sitting at a table, watching them fondly. 

Keith smiles, mouthing a silent, "I love you." to her. Krolia beams, holding her hand to her heart as she says it back and blows a kiss. 

_~It's been sometime now_

_What you been doing_

_Been working too hard for somebody_

_That you don't even know that well_

_At the front door of your new place_

_I guess it's funny that I don't know what to say to you anymore~_

Keith happily closes his eyes after that, basking in the warmth of Lance being so close, their dancing becoming a lazy sway as they pay more attention to each other's hold. 

"Hey," Lance starts, and Keith loosens his grip to put their foreheads together. He keeps his eyes closed and hums, letting Lance know he's listening. "I was wondering if you'd like to do this again. Like, dance like this," he says awkwardly, a small laugh on the end. "I planned to do this all over the top and with signs and stuff but… I just wanted to ask you already."

Keith lets his eyes open, pulling back to look at Lance questioningly. "What do you mean?"

Lance's cheeks are a shade darker, and Keith thinks he looks adorably shy. It's a new look on Lance. He scratches his cheek, averting his eyes away from Keith as he speaks up. 

"Prom. Wanna be my date?" He almost squeaks, and Keith's eyes widen. At that, Lance begins to ramble. "We can coordinate our ties,-" He points to their swapped ties, "-dance like idiots, spike the punch. All that cheesy stuff. I just— I want to do it with you."

He looks more determined once he reaches the end, and Keith laughs. He nods as he pulls Lance's hand away from anxiously scratching the back of his neck. 

"I'd love to." Keith smiles before kissing Lance softly on the lips. "Anything to see you in a suit again." He makes a show of checking Lance out. 

Lance laughs and kisses Keith again. "What are you on about? Have you seen yourself?" He gestures to Keith in his white shirt and black jacket, blue tie finishing off his outfit. "I had to hold back from kissing you that whole ceremony."

Keith pulls him into a hug again, both of them going back to dancing... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Broganes are chaotic good and I love them. 
> 
> And if you haven't figured it out, Hunk is in a poly relationship with Shay and Ryan <3 it happened by accident and I don't regret it. 
> 
> The fact that this chapter took the longest is because school fucks up my head (and then put it online and that doubles the stress cause I have no real help) and this time it got to a point I had to go see a therapist. And as a little buffer for my brain, I read 'Goodnight, Travel Well' (if you've read, you know it takes a while) and so that just added to the wait lmao, blame Tessa for recommending that fic to me lmao. 
> 
> I swear I didn't realise the length of this chapter. I thought it would be like 4,000-5,000 words, but NOPE, it's 12,000. This chapter is only meant to be a little buffer chapter that separates the others from the confession, but it is still important. I got carried away lmao. 
> 
> But ya, I'm sorry that updates might be a little slower for a while, but know that I will NEVER abandon this fic so dw about that <3
> 
> Ohhhhh, I loved planning the next chapter <3
> 
> See you next update! 
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Li6ByFTwMiqG1dc9vf8nB?si=gLDRlQNqTXqYrY7xyl6znw)  
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/tea_addict264?r=nametag)


End file.
